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Your “Nope – That’s Not Entertainment” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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NFL News:

  • It is 100 days to the start of the NFL season.
    • Not uncoincidentally, the NFLPA sent out a note to all registered player agents advising them on preparing their clients for a work stoppage in two years.
      • And that they should budget for a work stoppage of a full season.
  • “That’s My Raiders” just got their house bully: Richie Incognito has signed a one-year deal with the Raiders.
    • Yet to be determined: how his pleading guilty to disorderly conduct last month following an arrest at an Arizona funeral home after his father’s death will be interpreted by Roger Goodell and the “Good Conduct” clause in the CBA.
    • To quote Mike Mayock, “You can’t have all Boy Thcouts.”
  • Nick Foles left Jags OTAs for “personal reasons”, with permission from the Jags front office.
    • No timetable for return was announced.
    • Chillingly, the team issued a “thoughts & prayers” notice to accompany the news.
  • Marvin Lewis has joined Herm Edwards at Arizona State.
    • I never realized ASU was also a coaching “safety school”, yet here we are.
    • Lewis will be a “special adviser” to Edwards, and not a position coach, so he won’t be working directly with players.

It is a very quiet day in the sporting world today. Looking at the TV schedule, I don’t see a lot of hope on the horizon for this evening.

The Big Four Networks:

  • ABC:
    • 8:00-10:00 – The Lion King
    • 10:00-11:00 – 1969
  • CBS:
    • 8:00-10:00 – NCIS
    • 10:00-11:00 – Blood & Treasure – a new series
  • FOX:
    • 8:00-10:00 – Masterchef Junior
    • 10:00-11:00 – Local programming
  • NBC:
    • 8:00-10:00 – America’s Got Talent
    • 10:00-11:00 – Songland

Basic cable:

  • AMC: Tombstone – 7:00PM

  • E!: Botched – 8:00PM; 9:00PM
    • If you want to feel better about yourself.
  • ESPN: 30 For 30
    • “Qualified” – about Janet Guthrie, the first woman to qualify for both the Indy & Daytona 500.

  • Syfy: Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory – 7:30PM

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL: nope – Game 2 Wednesday
  • NBA: nope – Game 1 Thursday
    • TSN2 is showing both Raptors-Warriors games from the 2018-19 season as an aperitif.
  • MLB:
    • USA: no national broadcast scheduled; just MLBN
    • Canada: Jays at Rays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

It’s a fucking dead zone tonight. In fact, you’ll probably be better off watching “The Dead Zone”,

a perfectly tolerable Stephen King adaptation from the 80s. Of course, God forbid, you could talk to your family.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Fuck a suck. I forgot a form for my taxes. No big deal, but still I hate everything.

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Horatio Cornblower

Not gonna lie; I’m more than a little insulted that Jon Snow decided to enter rehab in Connecticut and never even called.

The couch in the basement folds out, man.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Got a little carried away drinking toasting his entry.

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Unsurprised

The dumbest man in Westeros. And now a rude one, too.

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Unsurprised

Coincidental to last night when I shared that tweet thread about dying with dignity, a staff attorney and a legislative director position opened up for a nonprofit that specifically advocates for that here in Oregon (medical assistance in death is legal) and I also have a personal interest in it. So I’m looking forward to applying and getting ghosted like all the jobs I actually want, but at least it’s something to keep my interest for a bit while I look.

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Brick Meathook

Dress like a goth for the interview.

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Horatio Cornblower

Getting ghosted would be a good thing for that job.

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Unsurprised

Just for good measure: CH’s non-union Slovak equivalent, Vica Kereces.

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Unsurprised

I’d like this job.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Everyone thinks it’s easy to break into the porno industry until they get their first job cleaning up after Peter North.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Sorry, that’s right up my alley…

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Unsurprised

I shouldn’t even tease with this, but there was a story back when I couldn’t download them of her and another model trying to untie their bikini tops with their butt cheeks.

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Brocky

Interesting.

I’m gonna need a name on this model for research..

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Unsurprised

Lauren Summer. Bing her Playboy Mexico outtakes.

https://gfycat.com/@unsurprised/collections/DU5Q5PTp/lauren-summer

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Unsurprised

Fuck it.

h

ttp://pixhost.to/show/240/104173491_lausum.jpg

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Unsurprised

h

ttps://gfycat.com/mealyleafyindianabat

ttps://gfycat.com/showyallgourami

ttps://gfycat.com/enrageddeadlydragon (Def NSFW)

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ballsofsteelandfury

You’re doing the Lord’s Work!

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Unsurprised

If only I could make a living doing this.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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Brocky

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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rockingdog

nice padres got the W

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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Senor Weaselo

Wild Snorlax…es? Oh hell yes!

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Brocky

As I’ve said way too many times…

“Huh, there are trainers without such and such pokemon? Sucks to be them!”

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Senor Weaselo

I have them, but doesn’t hurt to have more, I could use the candy.
/Ugh, these have Yawn?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

This immediately makes me think of that scene from haunting where piano wire hits that girl in the eye

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Shatner is in the low-budget remake of everything.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I didn’t realize it until this morning how pale I’ve become. I’ve apparently lost whatever remnants I’ve had of the farmers tan shading on my face and limbs. That’s swell. No problems there.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s perfect

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What did people do before remote control?

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ballsofsteelandfury

I just love the fact she agreed to wear it.

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Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She wears one too, she just keeps the controller herself.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Or so the thing in my head tells me.

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Unsurprised

There really is a gif for everything.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That explains the smile.

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Don T

I’m gonna assume you pressed “Menu”
/growls, drools

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Knowing it has that much affect.

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rockingdog

LOL the yankees fans are yelling at the pitcher…

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ArmedandHammered

Since all Yankees fans are so wonderfully respectful, you know they are just giving constructive criticism.

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rockingdog

Shiiiitttttttt

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I feel hot just looking at that outfit, and not in a good way.

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Senor Weaselo

Tornado warning in NYC! Oh wait, just Staten Island, never mind.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, sorry, thought you said earthquake.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, for the forty lawyers here, a buddy of mine is about to sign a lease that has some ridiculous things in it, and the landlord has said he will accept no changes. Should he walk or suck it up on the lease?

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Sharkbait

Not a lawyer, but I don’t think that’s how it works, and he should bail.

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Brick Meathook

Ridiculous like what? Does he have to suck off the landlord?

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King Hippo

residential? some will be like that

commercial? NO FUCKING WAY

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Unsurprised

At least residential has the fallback position of habitability and other legal minimums, depending on how communist the state and city are.

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King Hippo

correct

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Unsurprised

Thank Christ. I haven’t forgotten everything.

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Mr. Ayo

As every lawyer I’ve talked to would say: “It depends. That’s a grey area.”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s not an assisted living place.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You see because grey, and Depends…… never mind.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Walk

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If the rental market is as tight as it is in a lot of places the company will be wearing sunglasses and just say ‘Deal with it.’

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Horatio Cornblower

It depends. That’s a gray area.

Also, he should walk. Quickly.

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Mr. Ayo

SEE?!? SEE!!! I nailed it!

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rockingdog

shittttt are the padres gonna BLOW this lead?

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Sharkbait

Just watched episode 1 of Chernobyl. Holy damn was it good.

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King Hippo

really gripping stuff

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King Hippo

Tonight is the night #BFIB finally go under .500. Probably to stay.

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Senor Weaselo

Does Andy Green normally wear a path out to the mound to try and La Russa the game away? And almost did?

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rockingdog

found a funny:
What if cows could talk but they’re just super mad at us so they don’t?

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rockingdog

Hi.comment image

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Brocky

PUPPYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

This was like this when I got here.
Honest.

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rockingdog

hell yea Padres up on the YANKEES!!!!!
5-1 dude!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Tonight, I will be watching the first two episodes of “Hot Zone”.
Intended to read the book for years but never did, but now it’s a mini-series on NatGeo.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry, thought you were talking something different.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Might watch that instead.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

And also apparently once again talking to my HS ex GF who is having marital problems and has reached out to me for some reason. This isn’t good.

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ArmedandHammered

Man, you need to get one of those aura cleansing smudge pots or what ever they are to get rid of evil spirits or bad karma. Beginning to think you pissed off the god of relationships.

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Don T

I second the exorcism
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ballsofsteelandfury

You need to stop taking to these crazy people.

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litre_cola

But they are the good ones in bed you see.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

This one isn’t crazy, just in need of a friend.
I think.

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Horatio Cornblower

I’m gonna get ahead of Rikki here and insist that you cut off all contact immediately.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like the idea of rebooting “Under One Roof” except instead of Ochocinco, Marvin’s new roommate is a low-budget porn producer.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

100 days to go for NFL? Means we are halfway back to gambling season.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

You don’t have moneys on the All Boys/Acassuso titlt? PLEBIAN

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scotchnaut

*edited because stupidness happened.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Padres up 4-0 over the Yankees in the BX to start game two.

When I discovered I can stream all these games on my phone rather than listen to the radio, my work productivity has gone from “mildly engaged” to “Sooo, we can drink a beer here, right?”

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Brick Meathook

You want something to do tonight? How’s about you play a video game.

I was looking on the Steam website when I came across these two games that I think we can all enjoy:

Air Raid Over Britain
What could be more exciting than being a Luftwaffe pilot and bombing the shit out of London? Well, in this game, you are on the ground in an English town during an air raid. On the ground. Do you get to shoot down filthy Kraut Heinkels with some sweet AA fire? No. You sit in an air raid shelter, I think, and you learn things.
https://store.steampowered.com/app/812460/Air_Raid_Over_Britain/

Fuck sitting in an air raid shelter! Fuck learning! I want action! Head on down to the RAF base and play:

Plane Mechanic Simulator
No shit this is a video game where all you do is refuel Spitfires on the ground , fix the engines, and patch bullet holes in the sheet metal.
https://store.steampowered.com/app/803980/Plane_Mechanic_Simulator/

That last one would make a good tournament game, to see who could change the most spark plugs the fastest.

Pong is still the greatest video game ever.

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herodotus450

Nobody tell Brick about Euro Truck Simulator.

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litre_cola

I think you just did.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

DAMN IT.

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Brick Meathook

I have just discovered Euro Truck Simulator

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Here are some actual reviews of Plane Mechanic Simulator:

First of all, I absolutely love this game, I would recommend it to anyone who would like to experience the daily work of Plane Mechanic.

After 6 hours of playing I have only come across two bugs. The first was the oil cart bug and that’s been fixed today, second was that I couldn’t connect the lower ignition cable to the spark plugs on the Merlin before the cowl assembly popped up, resulting in minus points for not properly attached parts.

As an actual air force mechanic I liked this game, but I have to say it is way too small (it has only 3 planes and the engines of the 2 of them are the same) and the missions quickly become boring and repetitive. Very few missions require you to think as a mechanic. Most of them just tell you exactly what to replace. The whole game has to do with the engines but a plane has so many other things that need tending.

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Brick Meathook

That last one is from an air force mechanic who fixes planes all day and then goes home and plays a video game about fixing planes.

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King Hippo

hey, dude knows his lane

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Horatio Cornblower

You spelled “serial killer” wrong.

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Porky Prime

At this point in my life, going into the store on Steam is like tagging along into Total Wine the night I’m designated driver.

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Gratliff

I have been informed that we are the proud owners of a second german shepherd despite my requirement of an actual house we own first. Congrats/condolences to me.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

An apartment with a GS? Get to walking!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“special adviser” is also a category on Pornhub.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Coaching safety school is just perfect.

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Porky Prime

“MAH GAWD! THAT’S RICHIE INCOGNITO’S MUSIC!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXNGIKuCiv8

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