Your “Come One, Come All! (Not You, Starters)” Thursday Night Preseason Open Thread

This is usually the time when some sort of ‘dress rehearsal’ for the regular season takes place with all the stars muddying their unis for the first time. But lo! Some teams have re-thunk this thinking and many of the precious ones will not “have at it”, which kinda makes sense to me. I read somewhere that Coach Nagy ran all his starters against one another in a game simulation and implemented all the new plays that he wouldn’t otherwise reveal (in order to judge their effectiveness) until the regular season began. He then plays the seconds and thirds in the ‘real’ exhibition games so that he has a longer look at the depth at each position. Seems like a smart thing to do…

Updates:

-Zeke has reportedly wandered back Mexico way, making him cerveza non grata  in Cowboyland.

-Pats lb Patty Chung got caught with the coke so he’s gone for awhile. Given the recent news regarding Josh Gordon, the Pats understanding of FIFO inventory management is seriously flawed.

TO THE GAMES!

Jizziants/Cincy:

The Bengali’s have only 6 player rejects from their buddies in New York. They consist of 2 castaway O-lineman, 2 cb’s that couldn’t cut it, a D-line depth fella and something called “Hunter Sharpe”. Good Luvin’! Player to watch for the Jizzers is 5th round pick rook lb Ryan Connelly. Described recently as “smart and tough”, which is code for  ‘pallid dude from Wisconsin’, he’s actually a bit of a speedster. Think deep-discount Luke Kuechly

Bal/Phi:

Reports out of Ravens camp declare that te Mark Andrews will end up being the most likely target to have the ball sail over his head in the red zone this season.

Car/Pats:

Pants wr Curtis Samuel is among the league leaders in ‘yards cushioned by cb’s at 6.7. Stick that up your WAR!

Wash/ATL:

Prediction: Brian Hill will supplant Ito Smith as the #2 rb. Draft accordingly.

Jax/Mia:

Jags fans are dreading the day when their rb Fournette will be forced to miss a game because he had a nightmare that ‘really stuck with me’.

GB/Raiders:

You guys don’t seriously think that Antonio is going to replicate his previous success with Derek Carr behind center, right? The latter’s inadequacy was one of the reasons that Amari Cooper was chased out of town just…last…year.

Whoa! These hot takes really take the wind out of me. Do you have one? Share below.

 

 

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Moose -The End Is Well NighBugEyedBooUnsurprisedyeah rightWCS Recent comment authors
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yeah right

I have a lot of love for all of you people.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Awww

(づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Mmmm. McSpaghetti. Eh. I prefer my own.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening. Work sucked today. Sup around here?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It turns out I’ve very passionate and even motivational about my extracurricular state bar volunteering stuff, which is great except that I need to make money or I can’t keep doing shit. But at least I have a goal beyond mere survival, so I’ve got that going for me.

yeah right

Surviving the week. It’s been good.

I’m slowly approaching the time of year when I’m forced to use my vacation time, even though California says they can’t take it away, by taking every last fucking Monday in the year off.

Fight the power.

yeah right

Dude, if you really need a marinara sauce?

WCS

At what point does Trump, or one of his sons (not Barron), decide this country isn’t enough, moves his followers to Trump Tower, or Arizona, and commit another Jonestown?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/cums

yeah right

The party would be bigger than the bicentennial.

ballsofsteelandfury

I LOVE that a political discussion on this site logically leads to a discussion of Pornhub categories.

I LOVE YOU GUYS! 😂🤣

King Hippo

porn, like politics, only honest

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

King Hippo

he remembers me!!

ballsofsteelandfury

I LOVE that Macron basically told the UK Prime Minister, “Hey, if you want to be the USA’s bitch, go ahead and leave with no deal. “

King Hippo

Macron might not be that great a President, but you can’t deny that he’s cool as fuck.

King Hippo

also give France and Germany credit for at least not being fascist states at present. Maybe that’s grading a curve, but JESUS.

ballsofsteelandfury

Right?

Btw, I just found out that Macron is 41 and his wife is 66. Talk about enjoying the MILF genre…

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

He married his teacher.

ballsofsteelandfury

Which Pornhub category is that?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

half of Brazzers BTAS videos and the My First Sex Teacher line

Er … I mean … I don’t know.
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King Hippo

which would be weird anywhere but France

ballsofsteelandfury

I half expected his wikipedia page to name his mistress.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

His mom?

King Hippo

that’s deffo a genre (and why I have to keep India Summer videos muted)

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That’s a Hell of a curve in France’s case because centrists like Macron make fascism feasible and attractive to losers in the demographic majorityt, but, yeah

ballsofsteelandfury

I dunno about that. Centrists have to hear and respect both sides. That’s a long ways from accepting and tolerating extremism, though.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

JFC. The general election of Corbyn to replace this inbred bunch of literal pig-fucker public school* Tory aristocrats can’t come soon enough.

*Only the English could twist the language into such a knot that boarding prep schools for the elites and fucking nobility could be called “public schools.”

King Hippo

if he would have just jumped off the Brexit train with both feet, he’d have a commanding lead

/internal Labour machinations make the Dems seem completely together and functional

ballsofsteelandfury

So true!

ballsofsteelandfury

Corbyn can’t win. No one likes him and Labour screwed up by not going harder against Brexit. If anyone takes over, it will have to be someone from an outside party that forms a coalition.

King Hippo

#BFIB make it itchy in the 9th, but still Win the RIGHT Way.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

she seems nice

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

She kicked Johnny Depp’s ass on multiple occasions.

King Hippo

two MOAR outs, #BFIB!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

Don’t matter. Cubbies already won on a kick ass performance by the Professor.

Pray for a wild card.

King Hippo

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I’d deffo whip mine out and nurse her.

/she’s a starting SS for the other team, though

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That makes even more hawt…. I’d have the same chance straight, complete lez, and/ or nun.

Spur
Spur

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

805’s and petite sirloin steaks were on sale at Vons. I am currently full of both.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur
Spur

Captain Ron?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Greatest movie of all time.

BugEyedBoo
BugEyedBoo

No lie. If you haven’t seen it, you should.

Col. Duke LaCross

Had that 805 for the first time the other day. Pretty good!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Since I’m not a fan of hoppy beers it’s a godsend to me at less than $1 per bottle/can.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

That’s SO 80s!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I’m guessing 1976

King Hippo

the hair seems very 1981-82

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spur
Spur

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Vying for a three game winning streak (INORITE?????) and currently tied 2-2 vs Tampa Bay, the Baltimore Orioles are currently in a weather delay.

So now I’m sitting here watching two little white guy fight.

No one has landed a punch yet, but they did hug each other for a little while.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Game is back on. Wooooo!!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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nomonkeyfun

Those little white guys are called twinks, and they weren’t fighting each other.

King Hippo

fightin’ or fuckin’ it’s all teh same

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Bagel Boss made it down to Charm City?

Spur
Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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