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Your Sunday Evening, Mid-Holiday Weekend Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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First off, I wanna thank Balls for covering Saturday night

so I could enjoy the day with WineWife.

Now, on to the more important point: this is the last Sunday for me until the end of the season.

We are entering the most glorious part of the year at [DFO] for me – when actual football takes the place of my having to invent #content to fill up six days per week. That’s now the responsibility of the NFL, as there will be plenty to rag on during the course of the next seventeen weeks, plus playoffs. I enjoy doing it, and the #contentoverlords allow me to expand my writing to cover areas of interest to me & hopefully you.

“Just stay away from Seamus’ domain. He’s in a good place” 

But it occasionally becomes a chore, which is why I take vacations or ask for time off. I don’t want to burn out at my volunteer assignments, since it means I’m likely burning out at my paid assignments. And that’s why the start of the regular season means so much, because it cuts my load down to three days/week – coinciding with the start of the school year. Now I’m fresh for everyone!

Relatively speaking.

Hopefully, I can get back to producing some of the longer pieces & serials that [DFO] is known for. In any event, it’s the middle of the holiday weekend, so I hope you are enjoying the grilled meats, the chilled beers, and juuuuuuust enough time with family. Remember: next week we football!

Tonight’s sports:

  • College Football:
    • Houston at Oklahoma – 7:30PM | ABC / TSN5
  •  MLB:
    • Mets at Phillies – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
  • MLS Soccer:
    • Seattle Sounders vs. Los Angeles Galaxy – 6:30PM | FS1
  • Left turns:
    • Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series:
      • Southern 500 – 6:00PM | NBCSN / TSN

My minor league beer selling ended on Friday. I made $500 cash in the last three days, and with my other three compatriots polished off a half-keg of Whistler Lager under the stands after the last out. It was glorious. Luckily, it’s only 285 more sleeps until Opening Day 2020!

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rockingdog

found a funny:
wish i was a fat baby taking a bath in the sink rn

3
scotchnaut

Sat in direct sunlight for 6 straight hours while doing two fantasy drafts. I look like a fucking radish right now.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Mike Kryzweski knows exactly how you feel.

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Unsurprised

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scotchnaut

“I want to speak to your managerio!”

3
Unsurprised

I am El Jefe

2
Spur

Djokovic tucked tail and ran

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Spur

Djokovic is in a dogfight.

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Mr. Ayo

Code orange activated!

0
Spur

ESPN2 is where it’s at people.

0
Mr. Ayo

CODE RED! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

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Mr. Ayo

Nevermind, he retired like a coward.

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Spur

he saw the writing on the wall. I think this looks worse.

2
Unsurprised

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yK0P1Bk8Cx4

1
Sharkbait

Speaking of sous vide, Good Eats this evening is tackling the subject.

2
Brick Meathook

Here’s an interesting car from my neighborhood:

That house is on the top of the Playa del Rey bluff overlooking Marina del Rey and the ocean. It has to be worth $millions (plural). It’s a big house too. Yet it’s all ratty and unkempt; the garage is full of tools and junk, a lot of it, but none of it is stored very neatly. Its piled up. There’s junk in the yard. This van is always parked there or in the driveway; I walk past this all the time and it’s definitely the owner’s van.

Either this guy is nuts or this is the most elaborate safe-house and sleeper vehicle ever.

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herodotus450

Does that say “Fucking what you can’t / Since 1984”? If so, Greg’s a fucking maniac.

4
Brick Meathook

I don’t know, but if I need something welded I would call Greg just for the theater of it.

2
Sharkbait

Find something and call him. Report back to us.

2
Mr. Ayo

Greg has two numbers. Which one works?

Wait, hold on, I’m going to find out.

1
Mr. Ayo

Greg is calling me back!

2
Mr. Ayo

And he’s still calling me back. Greg is persistent.

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Brick Meathook

You may have opened a can of worms here. Greg’s loaded too.

2
Mr. Ayo

I do have a gate I need fixed in Lincoln Heights. I could send him there.

2
Brick Meathook

Talk to him!

1
Mr. Ayo

Dammit. He doesn’t want anything to do with automated parking gates. Sorry.

4
herodotus450

Did you mention that you would be paying him in meth?

1
Mr. Ayo

Shit. That’s on me. I just said Brick would take care of it.

3
Unsurprised

Seafoam Gardens

1
Unsurprised

Godless, Fascist Communism!

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Spur

Djokovic is in a bit of trouble in the US OPEN

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Mr. Ayo

Just a bit. Makes for good viewing now.

0
Mr. Ayo

Code Yellow activated.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I think it’s appropriate that Redshirt made his first bet on the Bengals. That way he won’t get disappointed by losing bets.

3
Redshirt

I only bet $10 on them though. I’d love to get $15,000, but I’m not stupid enough to bet $100 on the Bengals! Unless I’m playing with House Money than all bets are off.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Should have jumped on my “USC won’t cover the spread” advice from last night.

Basically, you can make a mint this year if you bet against Pac 12 sides covering the spread.

2
Brick Meathook

Here’s this matte black Rolls Royce Batmobile that’s been in my parking garage for two weeks now, in a guest spot.

Check out the steering wheel: it’s on the wrong side. Is that crazy or what?

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Mr. Ayo

That’s a proper car to be driven about in.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

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Brick Meathook

This is parked across the street:

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Brick Meathook

So is this:
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Redshirt

I have seen the 1960s TV Show Batmobile on the local roads. Sadly, it was before cell phones had cameras.

2
Mr. Ayo

I’d drive that.

2
Brick Meathook

Will you be Starsky or Hutch?

1
Mr. Ayo

I don’t know. I’ve never watched it.

1
Brick Meathook

Apparently it is a show that you will like a lot.

1
Mr. Ayo

Because of Huggy Bear or the “French kissing prime-time homos”?

2
Brick Meathook

Well actually I was just talking about the car, but there’s always those other things too I guess.

2
Gratliff

Starting in on Community and noticing that Allison Brie’s character on GLOW is basically just an older version of her character on Community. Is she like this in everything?

1
Mr. Ayo

Allison is a successful actress because of her range, and nothing else.

5
King Hippo

the character will develop much more depth after first few episodes. As will Gillian Jacobs’

0
Brick Meathook

This delightful young lady may possibly be a neighbor of mine. Notice the “stripper/porn star” manicure. You can judge everything about a lady-person by her manicure. Remember that.

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Actually that looks more like Florida than California. All my neighbors are old people.

3
Unsurprised

Can’t place her. Then again, I’ve seen the pre and post-makeup shots of porn stars and many may as well be different species.

2
Sharkbait

She also has the “I’d like to talk to your manager” haircut.

4
Redshirt

Bridge, this is Science Station 1, Google Image Search reports no NSFW, sir.

4
Beerguyrob

It’s nice she has rings on both middle fingers so she knows when to stop.

4
ballsofsteelandfury

We could do a full breakdown of all the red flags you can see in this picture.

Kinda like a tutorial for tWBS…

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Brick Meathook

I bet she has a thick Ukrainian accent.

2
Brick Meathook

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Beerguyrob

WineWife experimented sous vide-ing a brisket today. She rubbed it with a Trader Joe’ Coffee rub, soaked it for 24 hours & then I threw it on a hot grill for five minutes per side. It probably needed another five hours in the bath, but was pretty tasty for a first attempt.

2
Sharkbait

Well that sounds tasty

2
yeah right

I’m intrigued.
Been reading a bit about sous vide but haven’t taken the leap yet.

1
Sharkbait

Same. My brother in law is all about sous vide. He says it’s the best way to cook meat now.

1
Beerguyrob

For brisket it’s apparently the best. You just let it slow cook for a couple of days so it retains all the juices & just sauce and sear it at the end to add caramelization.

My brother has a system of sous vide & smoking that is ridiculous.

1
Mr. Ayo

DFO Radio idea. Band/song names that could be nicknames for urmom.

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herodotus450

Nickleback… because she only costs $0.95

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Mr. Ayo

Green Day… because she was on the right corner.

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King Hippo

so…what in the name of fuck is gonna happen to Great Britain? They’s even more fucked up than Murrika at the moment.

1
Spur

People think they’re smart just because of the accent. They’re just as stupid as us Americans.

4
Mr. Ayo

Oh bloody hell mate! We’re not as fooked as those wankers!

1
Unsurprised

With a million times more inbreeding

1
King Hippo

Hold our washtub gin! – West By God Virginia

1
Unsurprised

At least West Virginnie has Mexicans.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I learned this by watching Love Island.

0
Sharkbait

The Troubles 2: Electric Boogaloo

5
King Hippo

perhaps the Protestants and Catholics can break dance it all out? Or car bombs, potato, potato pronounced wrong

1
Redshirt

How does the Prime Minister have the power to suspend the legislature? Also, and thanks to The Crown, I know the Crown is supposed to be impartial, but at least Her Highness is ruling by Divine Right. She was anointed by God Himself. He was appointed by an absolute majority of all elected representatives.

If one has to play Dictator, why is it this dicktator and not the one who was bred to rule since her father became King?!

1
Unsurprised

I don’t know why she hadn’t acted sooner to quit all this nonsense. I guess it took seeing Boris sitting across from his non-union American equivalent to realize that she let this get way the fuck out of hand.

1
Spur

It’s impossible to find any clips from Sigur Ros Live at the MET.

1
Sharkbait

Sup

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Yo

1
King Hippo

holy cats, the JV 500s scored 10 points somehow?

0
Redshirt

Did the Bullpen Cart hit a pedestrian?

0
Redshirt

What the hell is the Reds bullpen doing?

1
King Hippo

we decided to use the two worst guys in our now 12-ish man pen, for some reason.

0
Redshirt

You know we’re going to wheel Rasiel Iglasius out to (blown)save this thing, so all you need to do is get it a one-score game.

0
King Hippo

bet you’re at 8+ before this inning ends

0
King Hippo

NEVAR change, Mike Mayers

0
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

True story,,that’s my little brother’s name. What did he do now?

0
King Hippo

fucked another mule ,, smgdh 😀

0
Gratliff

I’ve been informed that we own another dog now, so that’s awesome and convenient in a house that barely contains the one we have

3
Unsurprised

Congratulate it with an antifreeze martini.

1
King Hippo

Redlegs hurlers…are not great at pickoff throw aim

0
Redshirt

Its Votto’s fault. He wasn’t even in his catcher’s gear or in a crouch to get that slider.

1
Redshirt

Hippo is drunk and running on the field again.

1
King Hippo

we has a pitch invasion in #BFIB-land!

0
Redshirt

FS-Ohio didn’t show him. Please say they got a Arn Anderson spinebuster by security.

1
King Hippo

FSMW didn’t either, but by the description of events…sounds like he did. Colour guy was offended he didn’t even try dodging the tackle, but I presume you don’t want to make the meathead even MADDER.

0
King Hippo

I see KFC is marketing a new varietal of their vomit bowl

0
Redshirt

Not just them. It seems like everyone is doing Macaroni and Cheese. Firehouse Subs is doing them. That’s what I think about when I have a sub and a coke: a bowl of macaroni and cheese.

1
King Hippo

institutional, fast food mac and cheese, no less

0
King Hippo

the check should still cash, JV 500s

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Welcome back, KolschDudeRick!

2
Redshirt

What the hell, Hippo?! When did you guys become the Pirates?!

0
King Hippo

not-Dora just lost it in a hurry, no idea why we didn’t pinch hit for him

0
Redshirt

Just giving you a hard time. Sucks for Suarez though. He just hit 40 HRs and had an outside chance of the franchise record of 52.

Any damage and he’s done for the year. But I don’t see how nothing was not broken with the way he reacted.

0
King Hippo

yeah it looked bad. 2020 might be pretty interesting for y’all, if pitching holds up even a bit

1
Redshirt

We need bullpen help. Also, our starters need to plan to be on the mound in the 7th inning and not in the clubhouse. Our bullpen started like New Age Nasty Boys, but having to pitch 3-4 innings every game killed them dead.

1
Spur

am getting a beer.

1
ALXMAC

I like the cut of your jib. Minus the Oklahoma hate:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1IrZ4dayqU

1
Spur

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1N5p8IXzNdc

2
ALXMAC

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byEGjLU2egA

0
herodotus450

Roger Goodell watching Verlander today: “A no hitter, huh?”

0
ArmedandHammered

No hits, no fines, no fun.

0
herodotus450

Okie punter is 6’7″ ?

0
Spur

no one wants to play for the Thunder

1
ALXMAC

No the Houston one.

1
Redshirt

Okay, now the Cardinals are just rubbing it in, sending a 16th Century Spanish Explorer to beat the Reds.

2
King Hippo

we sure love our not-Dora!

/per #BFIB radio, apparently Chi**** media is bitching about y’all, like they think Cincy not TRYING to win. Motivation for when/if they come back to town.

0
Redshirt

We already hate them enough already.

1
ALXMAC

I wasn’t even mad about that one. If you want to go foar tha jugular remind me of the Ducks game at Oregon

0
Brick Meathook

I’m selling my beloved Instant Pot Duo 7-in-1 Multi-Use 6 Quart Computerized Cooking Thing.

In one year I used it three times: One time to boil water (as per the instructions); one time to make tacos from an on-line gif I saw (which I believe I shared here – they were pretty good); and one time to make a one-pot Beef Stroganoff that kind of made me sick (but that was more the recipe than the Instant Pot – too much sour cream). I never used it again.

This model retails for $99.99 but I’ll let any of you buy it for only $200. I signed it so there’s some real added value here. I just listed it on Craigslist for $500 and on eBay with a hidden reserve of $10,000 and I’m going to try to initiate a bidding war, so you probably want to jump at this offer and not lose out.

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Deluxe box included!
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4
Mr. Ayo

If I already didn’t have one, I would jump all over this limited time opportunity.

2
Redshirt

Let me check my PowerBall numbers. If I won the jackpot, I’ll buy it for $200. But I must insist on a Certificate of Authenticity.

4
Redshirt

So I made my first bet. I understand that +15000 means 150-to-1, but somehow I expect more that $1500 betting if the Bengals win the Super Bowl.

1
Mr. Ayo

Oh right. So here’s how betting works. Grab a big stash of cash. Then walk over to your nearest trash can. Deposit said stash of cash in the trash can.

Then check back in a week on that stash.

Optional: Buy/Rob a big stack of pills from your local pharmacy before checking back.

1
Spur

So who is Oklahoma gonna lose to by 21+ in the playoff this year?

2
ALXMAC

Clemson in the championship game.

0
King Hippo

Alabama, they have to get the “Hurts v. Saban” angle in

0
ALXMAC

BOOMER!!

1
Redshirt

Read spoilers to Joker. Joaquin Phoenix seems to have completely owned the role, however….

Spoiler

– This movie may cause more damage to the image of “mentally insane” than the GOP and the NRA can ever do.
– The seems to have made the argument of “rich vs. poor” which really that’s not the Joker’s M.O. Maybe the spoilers were off.
– Personally I prefer to think the Joker wasn’t mentally diseased before he become the Joker. Its better to think that one bad day could make a normal person become this monster instead of just thinking that some crazy person finally snapped.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

On your third point, I’d actually take the opposing view. I think that’s more realistic.

0
Redshirt

Spoiler

I’m thinking like he’s the opposite of Batman. Bruce Wayne wasn’t already insane when his parents were killed. In all likelyhood, if his parents wasn’t killed, he probably would’ve lived a normal life. There’s actually been several stories where we see his life if his parents weren’t killed and he seems to be a well-adjusted person.

I’d perfer to think the same thing with Joker (i.e. The Killing Joke). He had a one bad day, and then saw life as one big joke.

Either way, its the same effect. When backed into a psychological corner, he wore purple and came out swinging.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Spoiler
See, I see it as certain people are only holding on to their sanity by a very thin thread and it only takes a little something to push them off the edge. I guess it’s the same thing you’re saying, except I’m saying they were much closer to the edge to begin with and the push wasn’t as strong.

1
Spur

Folks

2
Beerguyrob

Squire.

1
Redshirt

Carbon-based lifeform.

2
ArmedandHammered

Speak for yourself – Skynet

4
yeah right

First day of back to back grilling days.
Life ain’t all bad.

1
Redshirt

These Cincinnati Reds, I call them my dating life because we both continue to fail to finish the job despite having several signs and opportunities to do it.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

You truly have the best off-season job.

2
Beerguyrob

I will give that up only upon death.

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