I’m not going to stand here and preach to you all about how FOOTBAWL IS BACK! But that’s mainly because I’m a hater.
From what I understand, there is no real discernable difference between 2018’s contenders/nobodies and 2019’s pretenders/somebodies. Unless I missed the part where Joe Flacco is returning the Broncos to relevance or The Pauls are finally making that 2020 push I’ve read so much about. Maybe Josh Rosen has become anything other than a must-have for teams chasing the number one overall draft pick? No? How strange. Because I’m sure the Patriots are still fuck the Patriots and the Colts are NFL nonfactors.
Might as well call the regular season the primaries because, hey, I like Andrew Yang too but it isn’t like the Titans are going anywhere this year. Oh! Word limit! Wooo!
So, please, enjoy your Week 1 Quotables submissions below.