Your “I Knew You’d Come Crawling Back” Monday Night Football Open Thread

Were you not entertained yesterday? I certainly was. We had safeties, plenty of derpage, surprises, comebacks, new stars (if only for one week) and the usual disappointments. All in all, a great bag of tricks. I’ll throw a few cogitations at you. Think of it as an addendum to the much-beloved “Hippo Thoughts”.

Fallout:

-sure glad I didn’t invest in Baker Mayfield. I know he’ll be just fine but his line is going to make things rough for him here and there.

-next week’s Bills/Jizziants game is going to redefine the word ‘uglyball’.

-slam the brakes on this Hollywood Brown guy. He only had 15 snaps all game and the Ravens aren’t going to reverse direction and fling the ball all day all of a sudden. He got a bit lucky. Look for major regression next week.

-Alex Mattison. He’s got major talent and the Vikes would be wise to develop a package of plays for him rather than just use him as a fill-in for Cook.

-I’ve said this to anyone who’d listen and several who didn’t: Calvin Ridley is such enormous value in fantasy. Julio will always get the best cb and safety help to boot. That leaves Calvin on a lesser talent and he flourishes. “But he only had a couple of big games last year, that’s why his TD total is inflated”, you say. I say he scored 10 as a rookie finding his way in the offense and will be even better this year. Matt Ryan trusts him and the Falcons will be throwing all year long. Don’t be afraid to play this guy.

-I predicted that Jordan Howard would be left behind at some point but week 1 was a surprise.

-congrats to those that played Desean! You’ll be paid back next week with 2 catch, 23 yard outing. Such is the nature of that beast.

-Mustache Minshew’s fall back to reality is going to be even more painful than a broken collarbone.

-don’t pull the plug on Damien Williams just yet but it sure doesn’t look promising.

TO THE GAMES!

Texans/Saints:

Houston’s O-line gave up a league-high 62 sackeroos last year. The Tonsil (intentional) trade might make a wee bit of difference but that line play is affecting qb Watson’s development. Them Saints are psyched about a UFDA they found by the name of Deonte Harris, a wee lad that goes 5’6″, 170 and played DII football at Assumption College. He holds the all divisions record for most career return TD’s at 14. You know what they say about players that ball out at Assumption…

Den/Oak:

You know what fans of the Broncos new qb are called? Flaccolytes. (I thunked that up all on my own! I probably read it somewhere and forgot about it ) Most folks slept on rb Lindsay during draft season because of the yapping about Freeman but I don’t buy it at all. I guess we’ll see if the hubbub around te Darren Waller was justified.

Pluck those strings folks!

 

 

 

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Moose -The End Is Well NighALXMACWCSBrick MeathookUnsurprised Recent comment authors
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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

WCS

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

WCS

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

WCS

FUCK YEAH DEFTONES

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

WCS

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

WCS

Going deep into the archives for this one.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

I’m used to this by now. No more “Request Line” so for me it bleeds over into the game threads.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

She has pretty eyes but the ‘stache is killing my skin.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Col. Duke LaCross

What are the chances I don’t witness an offensive touchdown in that Bears v. Donks game next week? Even money?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Take the under.

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

Just get me a live cam on the BART after the game.

WCS

Just watch The Purge. Same thing.

Senor Weaselo

Don’t forget Tony! Toni! Toné!

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

WCS

This video brought to you by Cocaine. Cocaine: Everything’s a Good Idea At the Time!

Senor Weaselo

I’ve seen better Bronco tosses this season from Inertia Labs.

/The joke is that Bronco also hasn’t won this season
//I do need to watch the Hydra fight even if I know what happens

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hydra fight you say?
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They do look a little angry. I think.

WCS

Aren’t those the things that can’t die from ageing?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ding ding ding.
Good answer there, Yinzer.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

John Barr vs Pendleton: discuss?

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Nevermind. The correct answer was “both”.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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WCS

Hall & Oates next album cover art?
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s disturbing.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I think I’ve met this guy. That’s disturbing.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tackled by the shortstop????

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

4 more possessions and DONKs can tie it up.

King Hippo

make that 5, good thing plenty of time left!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

The announcers have informed this is still a 2 possession game.

I believe the implication is 2 non-flacco possessions though.

King Hippo

most FGs win, right??

King Hippo

High score in the no-money league, low score in the moneyed. FIGURES

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Stumptown sounds an awful lot like Vernon, Florida

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WCS

We have found the hometown of Florida Man!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

If the nickname’s origin were even remotely that interesting, Portland would be a lot more fun.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It’s because of the stupid logging industry. The Slabtown neighborhood where the offices I work at are is called that because it’s where they rolled logs down the hills onto the river.

Guess what gave the Sellwood neighborhood its nickname.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Guess what gave the Sellwood neighborhood its nickname.

Oh, God. I forgot where I was. On second thought, don’t guess.

King Hippo

hmmm, don’t think we is gonna win after all.

WCS

— me, five minutes into last night’s game

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Do you mean Saturday’s game? WOOF

WCS

Take your pick.

King Hippo

YES

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy crap, I won in FF.
How in the holy hell did that happen?

WCS

Trump’s in the Oval Office. Weird things happen, man.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This is God. You’re suffering from a Ketamine-soaked delusion.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t I wish.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

There’s still time.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve seen enough cats waking up from ketamine in my day.
No chance I’d ever try it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Interestingly though, the FDA has apparently approved a low dose ketamine spray for depression. The former tWLS and I had quite the argument over whether she should take it.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Yeah. Ketamine, LSD, shrooms (which I expect will be legal in Portland if not Oregon by end of 2020), even GHB are all being explored. Personally, I’m sticking with the normal drugs for now. I’m waiting on one of those DNA tests to get more info. Shit, maybe I should have been using shrooms since high school after all. 😀

theeWeeBabySeamus

I agree with Dok. Leave the lines on for baseball. If you catch a fly ball in the endzone, it’s 3 runs to the better.

Senor Weaselo

How about the Wild Card Game being on a football field? It’s a 3-run homer if you hit it through the uprights.

theeWeeBabySeamus

If you catch it inside the 20 you can try to return it. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE BENCHES CLEARING TO TACKLE THE GUY????

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