TO THE (late) GAMES!
Panthers/Cards:
Things don’t look very good for Kyle Allen. The left side of his line is in lousy shape and this fella wasn’t even able to finish the one game he got into last year. Carolina will have to lean even more heavily on McCaffrey, who is my choice for the next star player to be dealt a significant injury.
Giants/Bucs:
If you’re in a deep league you could do worse than picking up wr T.J. Jones of the Gmen. Hear me out. As evidenced by his 60+ yd. kick return and his TD last week he’s the only guy with explosive speed on NY’s wr corpse. As backup, Danny Dimes (god I hate that nickname) dealt with seconds (in the literal and metaphorical sense) and so has worked with T.J. often. Usually when a sub plays, the guys that he’s most comfortable with will get extra reps. I don’t like the Giants chances here but I do look forward to the opening up of the playbook for the first time in four years or so. Now available are some Run/Pass options, more believable play action, rollouts and deep throws downfield. You should play Evans and Godwin and even O.J. Howard (despite his big zilcho last week) because the secondary is in really big trouble at the moment
Texans/Chargers:
L.A.’s wr Allen should feast on an underwhelming Houston crew whose safeties are adequate in the run game but useless passing-wise. Their best corner is the very pedestrian Johnathon Joseph. They’d better pray for tons of pressure from the D-line.
Steelers/Niners:
Say it with me-Richie Jones Jr. Who? He’s the guy that has run more times (11 more times) out of the slot than Goodwin. The Steelers slot corner is basically a pylon that has given up 31 catches for 435 yds and 4 TDs. After 2 games!
Saints/Seahawks:
It’s The Teddy Taysom Show! Coach Payton is right to make this a timeshare at the qb position. Bridgewater was an average guy way back in 2015 but has done all of 31-51 for 235 yards, one TD and two INT’s since that time when his leg/knee went all kablooie.
Enjoy the tilts!
I’m pretty sure Eli is the duck from the Duck Song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q
Wish I could quack this more than once.
So, used up all my tequila last night and liquor is not available in this state on Sunday. Tried my beer margarita recipe with Bacardi Limon in place of tequila, it works just fine.
your commitment to drunkenness this weekend is quite noble
Just trying to do my part.
Stillers getting a little rough with Janeane
Tiki talking about Eli being the ultimate teammate? WTF
He’s always willing to be designated driver because he doesn’t want to lose his learner’s permit!
Eli never told coach about Tiki and that intern “special hugging”
Fucking Spero was a suck-ass vice president. Nattering nabobs of negativity indeed. Fucker.
David Jones looking veritably Eli-esque with that sack-fumble
Quite the ref overreaction to last week.
Elisha quit shaving, he’s really acting out
Nah, someone bet him 3 transformers he couldn’t grow real facial hair
probably shaved his cat’s ass
JuJu Bee be good
Still feeling hope-ish…
I think i’ve said this before, but GEICO Science Fair Wormhole Through Time ad is a great concept. It’d be even better if they used it to send that fucking lizard to the 12th century.
She totally wins the entire fair.
I don’t know, that baking soda and vinegar “volcano” looked pretty good.
Let me guess, that was your entry when you were in junior high science fair.
No, but didn’t every science fair have one?
We now know where Terry came from
My Gigantes ML bet looking…better
Olsen touchdown woo!
ShepardDOWN WOO!!!!!
Do you think Murray became an NFL QB just to overcompensate for his parents naming him Kyler?
Do you think if the Cardinals draft another QB named Kylest he’ll get the start?
Fuck that Skyler bitch.
—Walter White
I wonder if he EVAR fucked Ted?
Teddy can go back to Minny now.
Not Eli and Not Cam are looking serviceable.
Soooooo, Petey burned a timeout to save a 6-inch penalty??
-Me calling a timeout to let the viagara kick in
YEP
Free Phone Football means Free Phone Bunch-of-People-Talking-About-Football, not actual games of football.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULSTSU5h6SA
That is fucking insane. How the hell is it that I have never seen this before?
My older german shepherd keeps running from the new puppy cause new puppy is nippy with sharp puppy teeth. The noteworthy thing here is she keeps hurting herself because she’s making blind turns into walls and steps like it’s a fucking looney tunes chase. This is very stupid.
SUDDEN CHANGE in not-SanFran
That’s better.
FOUR first half turnovers, and it’s looking like a win. BANANACAKES EXTRAORDINAIRE
so who is the target audience for God Friended Me?
see the red areas, them
I want that show to end with it being a social experiment. And the last line being “Wait, you thought this was serious. It was just to show how idiots warp reality to fit their superstitions.”
Am getting a beer. i like my odds in DFO FFL with Seattle behind and having to slang it around.
add in Not-Eli making King Crab-legs having to keep throwing to Evans.
So close to switching to watching Letterkenny
I’m going to hazard the seHawks are done today, and I am only sticking around for the free beers I am owed.
Just saw a GIF of a Gints player shoving down a running teammate. Any context or pure derp?
pulled a hammey
Could the dude not have blocked the defender instead of shoving his injured teammate into the ground?
With Eli no longer a Captain, lawlessness and mayhem
This Hou/LAC game is surprisingly okay considering I doubt a majority of americans could identify either team as being in the nfl
Applies to a lot of the teams playing today…
I was kind of bummed out by the fact that I had to watch the Texans game and not the Santa Clara game, but not so much now.
Insurmountable lead in Carson CA.
The Tiki conversation below made me think of Sterling Sharpe for some reason. I wonder where he is these days. Guess I will google that.
Kinda looks like Shannon.
Fuck, that’s who I meant. Thank you for doing your befuddlement job, alcohol!
I think that football scrambled Carroll’s brain.
What, did he say the Taliban did 9/11 after all?
Fully expecting him to come out wearing a tinfoil hat in the second half, ranting about the frogs being turned gay
Some exceptional stats padding for the Hawks. 54 yard reception as time expires. Carroll had let 20 seconds tick off on the previous play. 2 timeouts unused.
Long FGs? So Gay, y’all
Hmm.. in person, the Seahawks might suck. Only one Saints offensive TD but down 14 going into the half.
Neighbour? RUNNED THE FUCK OVER
Dramatization of Pete Carroll pre-game:
Just added truffle seasoning to slow cooker brisket mac and cheese, and added broccoli to steam over top
Seahawks stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey
Mulleted Yinzer in the Santa Clara crowd. So fitting.
3 TDs for Mike Evans. Thank you NYG
I guess dislocated ankle.
PRAY FOAR SCOTCHY
Saquon comes out in the second half with an oddly fitting helmet and big forehead
Very drink and at seahawks game. No one can figure out how they have no yards but 14 points.
Extra points are too hard, we should look into making them shorter
SSSSSSSSSSSWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!
HahaHawks
who had week 3 for the Barkley dead pool?
I’m so confused, which one is Tiki?
Tomsula’s new home
I’m really happy they didn’t enact the plan to have the Raiders play this season in the Giant’s stadium
They put up a curtain around Ogletree and he was humanely destroyed.