Your “Pass That Torch!” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

TO THE (late) GAMES!

Panthers/Cards:

Things don’t look very good for Kyle Allen. The left side of his line is in lousy shape and this fella wasn’t even able to finish the one game he got into last year. Carolina will have to lean even more heavily on McCaffrey, who is my choice for the next star player to be dealt a significant injury.

Giants/Bucs:

If you’re in a deep league you could do worse than picking up wr T.J. Jones of the Gmen. Hear me out. As evidenced by his 60+ yd. kick return and his TD last week he’s the only guy with explosive speed on NY’s wr corpse. As backup, Danny Dimes (god I hate that nickname) dealt with seconds (in the literal and metaphorical sense) and so has worked with T.J. often. Usually when a sub plays, the guys that he’s most comfortable with will get extra reps. I don’t like the Giants chances here but I do look forward to the opening up of the playbook for the first time in four years or so. Now available are some Run/Pass options, more believable play action, rollouts and deep throws downfield. You should play Evans and Godwin and even O.J. Howard (despite his big zilcho last week) because the secondary is in really big trouble at the moment

Texans/Chargers:

L.A.’s wr Allen should feast on an underwhelming Houston crew whose safeties are adequate in the run game but useless passing-wise. Their best corner is the very pedestrian Johnathon Joseph.  They’d better pray for tons of pressure from the D-line.

Steelers/Niners:

Say it with me-Richie Jones Jr. Who? He’s the guy that has run more times (11 more times) out of the slot than Goodwin. The Steelers slot corner is basically a pylon that has given up 31 catches for 435 yds and 4 TDs. After 2 games!

Saints/Seahawks:

It’s The Teddy Taysom Show! Coach Payton is right to make this a timeshare at the qb position. Bridgewater was an average guy way back in 2015 but has done all of 31-51 for 235 yards, one TD and two INT’s since that time when his leg/knee went all kablooie.

Enjoy the tilts!

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Doktor Zymm

I’m pretty sure Eli is the duck from the Duck Song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q

Viva La Tabula Raza

So, used up all my tequila last night and liquor is not available in this state on Sunday. Tried my beer margarita recipe with Bacardi Limon in place of tequila, it works just fine.

King Hippo

your commitment to drunkenness this weekend is quite noble

Viva La Tabula Raza

Just trying to do my part.

King Hippo

Stillers getting a little rough with Janeane

Spur

Tiki talking about Eli being the ultimate teammate? WTF

Doktor Zymm

He’s always willing to be designated driver because he doesn’t want to lose his learner’s permit!

herodotus450

Eli never told coach about Tiki and that intern “special hugging”

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fucking Spero was a suck-ass vice president. Nattering nabobs of negativity indeed. Fucker.

herodotus450

David Jones looking veritably Eli-esque with that sack-fumble

King Hippo

Quite the ref overreaction to last week.

King Hippo

Elisha quit shaving, he’s really acting out

Doktor Zymm

Nah, someone bet him 3 transformers he couldn’t grow real facial hair

King Hippo

probably shaved his cat’s ass

King Hippo

JuJu Bee be good

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think i’ve said this before, but GEICO Science Fair Wormhole Through Time ad is a great concept. It’d be even better if they used it to send that fucking lizard to the 12th century.

Petronel

She totally wins the entire fair.

Dunstan

I don’t know, that baking soda and vinegar “volcano” looked pretty good.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Let me guess, that was your entry when you were in junior high science fair.

Dunstan

No, but didn’t every science fair have one?

Doktor Zymm

We now know where Terry came fromcomment image

King Hippo

My Gigantes ML bet looking…better

Don T

Olsen touchdown woo!

King Hippo

ShepardDOWN WOO!!!!!

Doktor Zymm

Do you think Murray became an NFL QB just to overcompensate for his parents naming him Kyler?

Doktor Zymm

Do you think if the Cardinals draft another QB named Kylest he’ll get the start?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fuck that Skyler bitch.
—Walter White

King Hippo

I wonder if he EVAR fucked Ted?

Spur

Teddy can go back to Minny now.

Spur

Not Eli and Not Cam are looking serviceable.

King Hippo

Soooooo, Petey burned a timeout to save a 6-inch penalty??

herodotus450

-Me calling a timeout to let the viagara kick in

Petronel

YEP

Viva La Tabula Raza

Free Phone Football means Free Phone Bunch-of-People-Talking-About-Football, not actual games of football.

Viva La Tabula Raza

That is fucking insane. How the hell is it that I have never seen this before?

Gratliff

My older german shepherd keeps running from the new puppy cause new puppy is nippy with sharp puppy teeth. The noteworthy thing here is she keeps hurting herself because she’s making blind turns into walls and steps like it’s a fucking looney tunes chase. This is very stupid.

LemonJello

SUDDEN CHANGE in not-SanFran

Petronel

That’s better.

King Hippo

FOUR first half turnovers, and it’s looking like a win. BANANACAKES EXTRAORDINAIRE

Petronel

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

so who is the target audience for God Friended Me?

Spur

see the red areas, them
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ArmedandHammered

I want that show to end with it being a social experiment. And the last line being “Wait, you thought this was serious. It was just to show how idiots warp reality to fit their superstitions.”

Spur

Am getting a beer. i like my odds in DFO FFL with Seattle behind and having to slang it around.

Spur

add in Not-Eli making King Crab-legs having to keep throwing to Evans.

Doktor Zymm

So close to switching to watching Letterkenny

Beerguyrob

I’m going to hazard the seHawks are done today, and I am only sticking around for the free beers I am owed.

Gratliff

Just saw a GIF of a Gints player shoving down a running teammate. Any context or pure derp?

Spur

pulled a hammey

Gratliff

Could the dude not have blocked the defender instead of shoving his injured teammate into the ground?

Spur

With Eli no longer a Captain, lawlessness and mayhem

Doktor Zymm

This Hou/LAC game is surprisingly okay considering I doubt a majority of americans could identify either team as being in the nfl

LemonJello

Applies to a lot of the teams playing today…

Viva La Tabula Raza

I was kind of bummed out by the fact that I had to watch the Texans game and not the Santa Clara game, but not so much now.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Insurmountable lead in Carson CA.

Viva La Tabula Raza

The Tiki conversation below made me think of Sterling Sharpe for some reason. I wonder where he is these days. Guess I will google that.comment image

Petronel

Kinda looks like Shannon.

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fuck, that’s who I meant. Thank you for doing your befuddlement job, alcohol!comment image

Spur

I think that football scrambled Carroll’s brain.

King Hippo

What, did he say the Taliban did 9/11 after all?

Bortleback

Fully expecting him to come out wearing a tinfoil hat in the second half, ranting about the frogs being turned gay

Recovery Whiskey

Some exceptional stats padding for the Hawks. 54 yard reception as time expires. Carroll had let 20 seconds tick off on the previous play. 2 timeouts unused.

King Hippo

Long FGs? So Gay, y’all

Beerguyrob

Hmm.. in person, the Seahawks might suck. Only one Saints offensive TD but down 14 going into the half.

King Hippo

Neighbour? RUNNED THE FUCK OVER

Doktor Zymm

Dramatization of Pete Carroll pre-game:comment image

Doktor Zymm

Just added truffle seasoning to slow cooker brisket mac and cheese, and added broccoli to steam over top

Recovery Whiskey

Seahawks stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey

King Hippo

Mulleted Yinzer in the Santa Clara crowd. So fitting.

Spur

3 TDs for Mike Evans. Thank you NYG

King Hippo

I guess dislocated ankle.

PRAY FOAR SCOTCHY

Gratliff

Saquon comes out in the second half with an oddly fitting helmet and big forehead

Beerguyrob

Very drink and at seahawks game. No one can figure out how they have no yards but 14 points.

Doktor Zymm

Extra points are too hard, we should look into making them shorter

King Hippo

SSSSSSSSSSSWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!

Doktor Zymm

HahaHawks

Spur

who had week 3 for the Barkley dead pool?

Spur

I’m so confused, which one is Tiki?

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

comment image

Recovery Whiskey

Tomsula’s new home

Doktor Zymm

I’m really happy they didn’t enact the plan to have the Raiders play this season in the Giant’s stadium

Col. Duke LaCross

They put up a curtain around Ogletree and he was humanely destroyed.