Your “Pass That Torch!” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

TO THE (late) GAMES!

Panthers/Cards:

Things don’t look very good for Kyle Allen. The left side of his line is in lousy shape and this fella wasn’t even able to finish the one game he got into last year. Carolina will have to lean even more heavily on McCaffrey, who is my choice for the next star player to be dealt a significant injury.

Giants/Bucs:

If you’re in a deep league you could do worse than picking up wr T.J. Jones of the Gmen. Hear me out. As evidenced by his 60+ yd. kick return and his TD last week he’s the only guy with explosive speed on NY’s wr corpse. As backup, Danny Dimes (god I hate that nickname) dealt with seconds (in the literal and metaphorical sense) and so has worked with T.J. often. Usually when a sub plays, the guys that he’s most comfortable with will get extra reps. I don’t like the Giants chances here but I do look forward to the opening up of the playbook for the first time in four years or so. Now available are some Run/Pass options, more believable play action, rollouts and deep throws downfield. You should play Evans and Godwin and even O.J. Howard (despite his big zilcho last week) because the secondary is in really big trouble at the moment

Texans/Chargers:

L.A.’s wr Allen should feast on an underwhelming Houston crew whose safeties are adequate in the run game but useless passing-wise. Their best corner is the very pedestrian Johnathon Joseph.  They’d better pray for tons of pressure from the D-line.

Steelers/Niners:

Say it with me-Richie Jones Jr. Who? He’s the guy that has run more times (11 more times) out of the slot than Goodwin. The Steelers slot corner is basically a pylon that has given up 31 catches for 435 yds and 4 TDs. After 2 games!

Saints/Seahawks:

It’s The Teddy Taysom Show! Coach Payton is right to make this a timeshare at the qb position. Bridgewater was an average guy way back in 2015 but has done all of 31-51 for 235 yards, one TD and two INT’s since that time when his leg/knee went all kablooie.

Enjoy the tilts!

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Giants now tied for 2nd place in NFC East with 13 games to go!

Doktor Zymm

It’s never good for an organization when they drift too far right

Viva La Tabula Raza

Doesn’t seem to have negatively affected the fucking Republican party very much; at least, not yet.

Doktor Zymm

Maybe it’s just for field goals, oh well

Viva La Tabula Raza

“I’ve kicked field goals from 70, no wait, 75 yards. I’m pretty good at that, but not as good as I am at golf. I normally get 2 or 3 holes-in-one per 18 hole round. Anyway, that’s why they wouldn’t let me buy the Buffalo Bills, because I could go right out there and kick the game winning 80 yard field goal against the Patriots as time expired. So I decided to be President for Life then. The NFL owners don’t seem to mind, in fact they really like sniffing my farts these days.”
—Overflowing Orange Sentient Colostomy Bag

King Hippo

He missed by the yardage they lost centering the ball. You couldn’t script it like that.

Gratliff

Remember when Matt Bryant was hitting 60’s at will for Tampa? Stupid, stupid Tampa.

Spur

Dammit. Bucs let the Giants steal one

Gratliff

Saquon adding weeks to his recovery hobbling like a moron

King Hippo

BANANACAKES PLAID DELUXE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Horatio Cornblower

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccckkkkkkk Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, Winston!!!

Gratliff

oh my gooooooooooood

Petronel

Well, we really didn’t deserve to win this one, but I’ll take it. (Sorry, Seamus)

Horatio Cornblower

The hobos in Scotchy’s neighborhood are now packing their bindles with some alacrity.

King Hippo

JEEEEEEEEBBBBBBUUUUUUUSSSSS

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll always root against Winston but goddamn, man, that secondary is a dumpster fire.

Gratliff

oh god please let gints lose like this

Gratliff

lol who did the backflip in the victory formation?

hippofant

Richie James. He did it last week too. https://twitter.com/BaldyNFL/status/1174815435566403584

Gratliff

Gonna fuck it up and break his neck and get his contract voided fucking about like that

Doktor Zymm

If this game ends 32-31 I am TOTALLY DOWN WITH THAT

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

The hobos in Scotchy’s neighborhood can rest easy tonight.

King Hippo

QB draw would work here.

King Hippo

WHAT HIPPO SAY??

Horatio Cornblower

Yes. Yes it would.

Dunstan

“Yay! My favorite!” — Eli, busting out his crayons

Doktor Zymm

Feel that tepid excitement in Tech Millionaire Stadium!

Doktor Zymm

I know how this goes. Buffalo does good early in season, there are high hopes going into the first Pats game of the season. Pats run up 50+

Horatio Cornblower

I’m not sure there’s a line high enough that would make me bet against Belichek and Brady’s pettiness.

Horatio Cornblower

I just ordered a pizza and a Greek (stop it) salad. Who wants to be a hero and go pick it up for me?

herodotus450

I’ll throw in the gyno for free.

Doktor Zymm

Nah, I’m more of a hoagie

King Hippo

It will be funny when the talking heads build up 3-0 P*ts at 3-0 Bills next weekend. Bet the book opens at like -10.5

King Hippo

remember 32-31? 😀

Viva La Tabula Raza

Good call. Better go buy a couple scratch-offs while you’re on a roll.

King Hippo

Did #97 Shazier hisself?

Doktor Zymm

Beta Texas is kicking Beta LA’s behind

Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess 17-7 wasn’t an insurmountable lead after all. Me not Nostradamus.

King Hippo

I’m Richie Jaaaaames, bitch!

Petronel

When your name is Justin Skule, you are a rookie forevermore

Viva La Tabula Raza

He probably would like to introduce himself as Justins Kool.

Doktor Zymm

But eventually he’ll be Old Skule!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Crazy ass shit by Watson.

King Hippo

Who woke up y’all’s D at the half?? PHRASING

Doktor Zymm

Kyle Shannahan is doing a good job developing his father’s complexion

King Hippo

YAY, Kittle ain’t fumbre!!

King Hippo

So. Much. Tomsula. Derp.

Petronel

LAWDY

Petronel

Ok now, let’s try this again

Senor Weaselo

Evening lizard people. Did I leave Cam as my QB instead of Kyler? I’m honestly not sure, I haven’t checked Crash Team Drinking since Tuesday.

Doktor Zymm

You did, but you’re still 75% to win

Senor Weaselo

Am I against you?

Doktor Zymm

Nope! I’m actually probably going to win this week!

Gratliff

New gints same as the old gints

Doktor Zymm

It’s nice to see the new guy showing some respect and emulating his elders

Gratliff

That was a goddamn throw

Gratliff

Checking in on fantasy for the first time since all my QBs had negative scores after the first half, and Mark Ingram has given me hope

Viva La Tabula Raza

This Texan-Charger game has actually been pretty watchable.

King Hippo

well-designed play to Hopkins

King Hippo

Feeling 32-31 G-men

Viva La Tabula Raza

Man, that ref at LAC-HOU has a fucking brow that would make a Neanderthal wince. How can he even see to make calls out to those squinty little eyeholes?

Senor Weaselo

Didn’t Ogletree die from a play where the whistle should have been blown?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I hate it when two teams I don’t hate play each other.

Also, Murciless is just an awesome name for a defensive player.