A partially-closed DeShaun Watson eye scans the NFL…
Fallout:
-Kenyan Drake is off to the desert. He’ll likely get the start on Thursday night because David Johnson is limpy and Chase Edmonds is gimpy. Somehow Kalen Ballage will vulture his only TD opportunity.
-Speaking of those Cards, guess which O has the lowest # of turnovers in the league at 4? Ya hear that, Danny TenCent?
-DL Leonard Williams heads to The Big Crapple for a 3rd and a 5th. It makes all kinds of not-sense, playing a fella for 8 games before his contract runs out. The Jets will be paying 80% of his remaining salary though. Twitter speculation says that the Giants have a verbal agreement in hand. We shall see.
-Other news out in the NFLsphere says that the Potato Skins are willing to listen to trade offers for Trent Williams-less than 24 hours before the trade deadline of 4pm EST. Look, I’m willing to dump on this witless franchise as much as any German scat kunstlerin is on the chest of a hairy middle-aged businessman but this is just a matter of returning some phone calls that were made over the last two months.
-Everyone marvels about the Pats “historic” D but San Franny is only giving up an average of 128 yards passing per game. Yeah, the Pats are in 2nd with 148 but the Niners average over the last 3 games has been 66.
TO THE GAME!
Fins/Steelers:
These guys are 2-10 combined. Abysmally average Mark Walton takes the helm as Miami’s go-to back. He’ll set the world or his offensive line on fire-there is no in-between! You’re here because your sense of humor veers toward the macabre or you’re behind in fantasy and need JuJu to come up with some points. Hell, we don’t discriminate here-think of DFO as a wide-open trench coat, inviting one and all to have a good, hard, lingering look at all the goods on offer.
I can’t hear any tippity tapping. But I can hear a police car siren. Gotta Go!
We want overtime, yes we do.
We want overtime, how ’bout yeeeewwwww?
“Where we’re going, we won’t want eyes”
Absofuckinglutely.
It’s a fine, fine line between semi-competence and semi-incompetence
Ah, the Keenum Line
…
Miami reverting to form or Pittsburgh reverting to form?
Yes
I need to rewatch Hannibal. I can’t believe that fucking show got on network TV.
Dr. Lector and Clariiiiissssse are the best love story of modern times.
Going to get so many shit trade offers from every Connor and Schuster owner this week
Fantasy football EPA declared this game a Superfund site
Driving home from my parents’ house, and now know what Harry felt after Lloyd slipped the Turbo Lax into his coffee. I hope the toilet works.
How does the mo-taur pee and poo?
Exhaust pipe, duh
He must have a very complicated gastro-intestinal tract.
At some agri-motor colleges they have a fistulated mo-taur so students can study the fuel-injection ruminant
You say glass is half empty I say nice arm punt
This game is quite entertaining.
If you don’t like competent QB play.
Better than a punt, probably.
I miss the first half
Still mourning game of thrones too
Mmm nother timeout on the 40
Favorite episode of Mad about You since we brought it up
Well, wadda you know. Helen Hunt IS hot.
Month of macabre continues???
ESPN Deportes guys tearing the MIA coaches a new one
Did anyone tell the Dolphins the half wasn’t over?
What? Over? Did you say ‘over’? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!…
We’ve secretly replaced Rudolph with Rex Grossman. let see if anyone notices
Hahaha timeout woekrd as planned
WOW, LOLfins.
LOLfins come through in the clutch
NICE BLOCK
Montcrief was chewing gum so obviously couldn’t run at same time
I think the most interesting thing about penalties being reviewed is how often they still manage to get shit wrong in slo-mo
And yet the NFL won’t use GPS to measure first down conversions to the angstrom. Big Chain at work!
Is pulling the DB’s arm down while he’s trying to up for the ball possibly OPI? That’s the only thing I could see.
Minkah’d
Is the name of that band “Dildo Rising”? I may need to put the closed caption on
Paging balls.
Which could be a search term in itself.
Porn for Gratliff
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=209&v=7LKWCxsbKaY
Master class in dickhead heeling by Jericho, and the big moment with the punch. That’s a segment that sold a whole shitload of t-shirts.
I didn’t watch much of “Mad About You,” but Helen Hunt was a serious hottie.
Any imagined Congress with Paul Reiser ruins it
yes and yes
I went back to watch the show during the 00s, and honestly, it was pretty good.
There’s still one episode that really sticks with me, an episode where they pledge to let their daughter cry herself out at night. They filmed the whole episode in one take and it’s pretty amazing. Still sticks out in my memory now.
https://www.vulture.com/2015/03/how-mad-about-you-made-one-of-the-boldest-bottle-episodes-ever.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBKacspW2e0
Fish shit talking. Love it.
Well, there goes the shutout.
(Hey, I just wanted to try “confidence in your team” on for size.)
“Oops. I don’t think this is my size after all.”
Seriously. I don’t trust the Fins to hold this lead until halftime….
Fins have had all the 2nd half adjustments of a noose
How in hot fuck am I older than Roethlisberger? Every time I see him I am confronted by the inequities of time!
Lindelof’s Watchman has taken hold of me. The Luddite Fascist world has me wanting more. It’s unabashedly political . I love it.
it’s not too comic book-y?
If you never read the Graphic Novel, shame on you.
But you can enjoy it coming in fresh. It will only make you want to read it.
Well Alan Moore disavowed it so not too comic books. Starting pretty heavy but good and supposedly 2 was worst of first 6 so should get even better
Would anything make Alan Moore happy?
Death.
crowd quiet enough you can hear MIA shit talking
We have saved up a year’s worth of material
Holy JUJU
What is the flavor of Yinzer angst? (Stale beer and machine grease come to mind.)
Brat that’s been dropped on the floor and now has a pubic hair stuck to it
That’s Yinzer joy, not angst.
with a pinch of git ‘er done!!11
C batteries
Mason Rudolph is looking forward to the Genesis Halftime Show
Don’t just stare at a loss to the Dolphins eat it
Werner Herzog in the Mandalorian? Holy shit.
Did Marino get somehow much thicker in the neck region than normally humanly possible?
Isotoner should make scarves
a leather scarf would have lots of traction in the auto-erotic asphyxiation community
Connor flopping this bad doesn’t bode well for the new Terminator movie
Evening Folks
Howdy!
It’s like Joe Thronton is a QB
Hockey reference! I get it! Another one of us!
The qb is 90 years old?
I’ve been learning that if you want to keep your 90 year-old forward company, you should reunite him with his other 90 year-old companion… you know, one who just chooses to not sport a Father Time beard
I’m trying to start a rumor that Ryan Fitzpatrick played basketball in college, to see if I can get every sports person’s head to explode
Ryan Fitzpatrick-Graham
Which college was that?
Someplace in Boston I think, Fahk U.
I think golf instead of basketball would be an interesting twist
Ryan Fitzpatrick played basketball in college? Wow!
Steeler Nation booing? Beautiful.
Glad to see Randy Finchtner has Rudolph in the 47-step dropback game plan.
I am sure PIT talk radio will have some very measured and not-at-all-raycess TAEKS on Tomlin in the morning.
Because: P O C K E T
Does Yinzburgh have some crippling OL injuries I didn’t notice before? This is wretched.
Checking fantasy scores ( fuck my teams suck if I need players from either team) and couldn’t figure out whose winning from the app. What a shitty matchup
I FUCKING DESPISE THAT E-TRADE AD, PUT THEM AT HEAD OF THE LINE FOAR BLOODLETTING
I second this motion
you and I can recruit for the DFO Select Bloodletting Committee
My dad always said his two favorite teams are Cincinnati and whoever is playing Pittsburgh.
1 out of 2 ain’t bad?
By winning this fixture, MIA makes the #1 they get from the Yinz (for other FitzMagic) MOAR valuable. Getting a QB and LT in a draft high in quality for both.
Ha! Forgot Pittsborgh went all in this year. Wasn’t that after Roethlisberger got hurt?
yup, they stupid
I was going to say that the AFC North might have the top four draft pics this year, but I guess not.