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He carefully checked the expansive sky for signs of rain as he loaded the saddlebags on his Harley. The gun was probably not necessary since the last live human he saw had been over 4 months ago. Out here in the desert though? Probably best to be safe.

The man considered the possibility of being the last person on Earth. The plague had struck over 2 years ago and the closest thing to human he recently spotted was a desiccated skeleton wrapped in moth eaten jeans and a battered Led Zeppelin T-shirt.

Serves the fucker right, he thought.

He had heard the rumors of an actual safe zone located in Minnesota but more than likely that was just more bullshit.

Besides, after all this time he had become pretty comfortable living by himself and he felt that the desert was the safest place to reside, just in case. You can see ’em coming from a long way off out here.

Last real sign of life he saw was a column of black smoke way out in the distance. Hell, that could be an old gas can that caught on fire as well as anything else, besides that was over a month ago.

The man had a fairly comfortable existence all things considered. He stumbled across a High Desert town on the East side of the Sierras called “Ridgecrest.” It was a decent enough place if you can handle the occasional earthquake and some summer temperatures in the “buck twenties”. No, the best part about old Ridgecrest was it appeared to be completely deserted prior to “The Incident” and he stumbled across an old grocery store still stocked to the gills with supplies. Liquor aisles unlooted. Canned food that could last him for the rest of his lonely ass existence and hell, just truck loads of beer.

If you can drink it warm that is.

He’d set himself up in a fancy – by desert standards anyway – house that offered a clean view as far as the eye could see. Even found a mangy ass dog that lived a little while. Just as well. He didn’t much care for looking out for anyone or anything.

The town had a well stocked library and that was plenty of entertainment as far as he was concerned. Nothing to do but read and all the time in the world.

Like that old Twilight Zone episode. He didn’t need glasses though so he felt safe on that account.

Recently the man had stumbled across some old literature and it was difficult to tell if it was fact or fiction. Some place in the Nevada desert called Area 51. Supposed to be an old military installation that housed all kinds of interesting shit. Reading a little further some folks claimed it may even hold signs of alien life.

Sounded like utter bullshit but the man was immediately interested.

A week or so ago as he was sitting by a camp fire enjoying the night sky he thought he saw something. Something really goddamn strange in fact. Something that made no sense.

After doing some additional reading it turned out that this Area 51 place was pretty goddamn close to old Ridgecrest, as the crow flies. Just some open desert and a jaunt East.

What the hell else was he going to do? Run for mayor?

It took about 2 days to get his supplies together and to locate a nice serviceable dirt bike.

Why the hell not.

He figured to set out the next morning with enough water, gas and supplies to make it in just a day or two.

The Husqvarna 4 stroke 501 seemed suitable. Took a few kicks from the kick starter before she roared into life. He took a few rolls forward and back in case any of the bearings had froze. Nodding his head in conviction he was ready.

Next morning he set out and headed East roaring across the dried caliche.

Turns out there wasn’t that much to worry about. The desert was threaded with offroad trails used by the locals over the years. He even found a couple of old desert highways and made good time. Took less than 2 days total and holy shit there it was.

“I’ll be goddamned.” He thought. There it was indeed.

A long and surprisingly well maintained single-lane road led directly up to a deserted but well constructed gate. He noticed plenty of signs that this gate had previously been extremely well protected. Concrete barriers were set up so approaching vehicles were forced to a crawl as they snaked through the walls of solid material. Light standards towered over the entrance and warning signs threatened trespassers with arrest or even the possibility of armed enforcement. Old surveillance cameras were mounted everywhere.

A camera mounted to the top of the gate was moving. Slowly sweeping from side to side.

He froze in his tracks.

Not believing his eyes at first, he continued to watch as the camera slowly kept up its vigil.

The possibilities were overwhelming. What if? Hell, not even aliens what if the government still had an active facility with live humans? What if it really was aliens?

More than likely just a well constructed camera system, he figured. Besides the gate entrance was open by a good 3 feet. He re-started his bike and headed through the entrance.

He had already come this far.

The base itself was huge. Building after building. Full size airplane hangars, research labs, a runway big enough to land a damn jumbo jet, a cafeteria, hell there even appeared to be a hotel of some sort. After some time inspecting the place he found the majority of the doors closed. There turned out to be one building that had a huge roll-up door in the upright position.

He figured he may as well get a look inside.

Leaving the bike outside, he collected his gun and grabbed a canteen of water, a bundle of rope and a hand ax and made his way inside.

The interior was vast, bigger than any airplane hangar he had ever seen. It was surprisingly lit by an unseen source and appeared to be almost completely empty.

Suddenly, the rolling door slammed shut behind him and the interior lights brightened to a blinding light.

“Well, what do we have hear?” a voice boomed and echoed throughout the building. “A visitor? Well, I’ll be damned! Welcome stranger. I thought all of you folks were dead!”

The man dropped to his knees in fear and was covering his ears in a panic.

The man spoke, “Us folks?”

“YES!” The voiced boomed in good nature “You humans! I heard you had all been destroyed. Now just look at you! You must be one reliant old cuss to still be kicking. What the hell are you doing here?”

“I saw something a couple of weeks ago in the sky. And this is Area 51 you know? The rumors?”

“Hell boy! You think they’re aliens here? You believe that old shit?”

“I didn’t know but I had to find out.”

“Hell son? How about a goddamn tour?”

The man couldn’t believe his ears. “Well sure!”

“Shit boy! I thought you’d never ask” the voice thundered.

A video screen as big as an old drive-in movie screen dropped from the ceiling. “The place has a little of everything. Check this out. This is stored in that big old hangar you passed on your left coming in.”

“Holy shit!” the man exclaimed. “A real flying saucer?”

“Hell yeah, son we got ’em all down here. Check this shit out!”

The image on the screen slowly changed.

“Jesus Christ! Real Aliens?” The man was in disbelief.

“Shit yes, son. These boys are still here. They were out flying around a couple of weeks ago. That’s probably the lights you spotted.”

The man was utterly speechless.

“That ain’t the only kind of alien we got either. Hell we had one played in the NFL if you can believe it!”

“Actually, that checks out.” The man said.

“We been doing lots of work for the NFL here in fact.” The voice continued. “Check this out. I’m damn proud of this one.”

“A football?” The man asked.

“Hell son, that’s not just any football. Look at this.”

The screen raised to the roof of the hangar and out of the darkness a football appeared. It mysteriously floated along on it’s own a a slow pace. Never rising and never falling.

“I don’t understand? What is that?” the man asked.

“Hell boy! That’s Philip Rivers personal football! Damn thing never comes down!”

The man sat down on the hangar floor incredulous. “Why all of the NFL stuff? Were you helping the league out? Why?”

The lights dimmed and a spotlight suddenly lit a dais in the middle of the hangar.

“Roger Goodell?” the man stammered. “You’re an alien?”

“Who the fuck ever said I was an alien you cock slapping shit-for-brains? Take a step closer why don’t you?”

The man slowly approached.

“Do I look like an alien to you Cock-a-Saurus Rex?”

“The, the Devil?” The man stammered in dismay. “You’re the devil? but I thought you were in Hell!”

“Well how about that Shitberry Muffin? I am in Hell! And the second you walked through those roll up doors, well then so were you!”

The man dropped wailing to the floor. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!”

/Maniacal laughter

[fin]