Your “That’s Why The Sun is Shining Brighter-The Pats are on a Bye!” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

It really does have a pronounced effect when one doesn’t have to hear about the goat-ness of Tom and the greatness of Bill. Food tastes better. My kids seem smarter. My mistress is open to new ideas. Clothes fit better. The hobo population seems to be thriving. (Well, not for much longer) Expense reports aren’t questioned. Life is good!

TO THE GAMES!

Fins/Colts:

Are you thin at wr? You might want to give a streaming opportunity to Zach “He’s Whack!” Pascal because he’s in line for all kinds of touches, what with Hilton out. The downside is his tosser will be the adequate Bobby Hoyer. But it’s Miami-whether it’s blow or TD’s, everyone scores! I’ll let you decide. The Fins give up a half first down (4.8 yds.) every time you run on them so Mack all day, right? Not so fast-although he has plenty of redzone touches (21) he only has 3 (!) inside the five yard line. Just weird. If you need a six spot from him he’s gonna have to run it in from outside the 10.

Panthers/Packers:

Both qb Rodgers and rb Jones were big disappointments last week after busting out two weeks ago but both should get back on track at home. McCaffrey has been everyone’s bread and butter and it likely will keep on going here because the Packers run D are 5th in missed tackles and 3rd in yards gained after contact.

Rams/Steelers:

Here’s yet another wr you could stream but why the hell are you looking for one at 4pm? Sometimes I just don’t ‘get’ you. Where was I-hey, the guy’s name is Josh Reynolds and he’ll carve out a spot for himself now that Cooks has had a second concussion on the year. He’ll likely take some time coming back just like Shepherd. Rb Conner is ruled out and Edmunds is banged up so unleash your handcuff of Samuels and have no worries. You did handcuff him, didn’t you?

Preach to the choir down below.

Please Login to comment
121 Comment threads
182 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
31 Comment authors
Moose -The End Is Well NighMistborn ImpossibleKing HippoRedshirtDoktor Zymm Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
King Hippo

OK, Non-Gendereds! Let’s get WOKE!!!

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Mistborn Impossible
Mistborn Impossible

Is this some sort of threat?

Redshirt

How did this team make the Super Bowl again?

hippofant
hippofant

Bellichik curses them for the Super Bowl, but the curse can linger for a few seasons.

See: Atlanta Falcons.

Redshirt

Ah, that explains it. The Bengals started 8-0 in 2015. Belichick was so offended that they were the undefeated team and not just his Patriots that he summoned all the dark forces he could to hit the Bengals with the biggest curse ever. It was so big, it not only cost them the 2015 and all future seasons, it went into the past and got Greg Cook and Ki-Jana Carter hurt, cost them the two Super Bowls and it even got Bo Jackson hurt by a Bengal so the Bengals would be blamed forever for that.

tomsellecksmoustache
tomsellecksmoustache

Egregious pass interference.

King Hippo

good Lord, the DERP is immense

Dunstan
Dunstan

“Illegal touching.” Yeah, I’ve had that called on me, too.

tomsellecksmoustache
tomsellecksmoustache

Also offensive holding, and for some reason, a chop block.

Redshirt

I got flagged for encroachment once.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

My last one was a snap infringement.

Redshirt

The 2019 Bengals Season is now called “Bungle for Burrow”.

tomsellecksmoustache
tomsellecksmoustache

They’d be crazy to waste a QB right now. Get Young or Thomas. The QB’s aren’t that great this year.

Redshirt

Mike Brown took David Klingler with his first pick despite having Boomer Esiason in his prime and he took Akili Smith despite Bruce Coslet pleading that they could win with Jeff Blake if they give him more help on the line and defense.

Its gonna be a QB.

Redshirt

If that’s not Pass Interference, then there is no such thing as Pass Interference.

King Hippo

You see that “fumble” TD they awarded PIT? Shield deffo wants Yinzers and Packers in the playoffs.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I always like to give my Packer-rooting work colleagues shit when the Packers lose, this week I’ll give them shit for the refs helping them out. OTOH, as a P*ts fan, maybe that would be pot/kettle thing.

King Hippo

but that will just make them even madder, so you MUST!

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Very well, I’m on it.

Redshirt

Why do you call a timeout here, Steelers? You just gave them a chance to talk about this do-or-die play.

Spur
Spur

Mason fumbles here

tomsellecksmoustache
tomsellecksmoustache

You’re too right. It sucks.

King Hippo

This will keep going, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! still has all three timeouts

Spur
Spur

non-stop action until Cowpoke time. Love it

Brocky

It’s been commented on, but this needs to go in the next night post
comment image

Spur
Spur

Green Bay gets cheated again to victory. so many questionable calls it should have never came to the last play.

Brocky

That’s fucking close

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

That’s painfully close. Tough break.

King Hippo

BANANACAKES IN TEH SNOW

Spur
Spur

hands to face on GB on the last play – no flag

Brocky

I’m amazed they even called the off sides

Spur
Spur

Rodgers is pissed because Kyle Allen has nicer thighs than him

Brocky

Aaron rodgers doesn’t understand why the refs aren’t hampering the Panthers more

Spur
Spur

Let’s Go Snow Panthers!

King Hippo

False Start…on the kicker?

WCS

BLEERGH works in mysterious ways.

tomsellecksmoustache
tomsellecksmoustache

About time they were held to the same standards as the real players,

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

PREACH!

Redshirt

We’re about to see the Tuck Rule II: Just the Tip.