Your “Give Me More” Late Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Did you like the earlier offerings? They tried their very best ya know. Well, except for those that didn’t. Some just don’t have the talent to compete, ya know.

TO THE GAMES!

Lions/Broncos:

Detroit seems to have given up the ghost or maybe just David Blough. Remember that first half of the Thanksgiving game? Blough’s mom will-forever. Oh honey, you were so special! Here’s an extra slice of chocolate cake. [Blough throws paper birthday hat to the floor] Goddamn it, maw! I’m forty-seven years old! Oh no son, you’re forty-seven years young.  /Fin I’m guessing Denver in a semi-romp.

Raiders/Chargers:

If you lived life on a hedge or were just a damn fool you’d throw Rivers into your lineup (I know!), your justification being that the Raiders give up the 3rd most fantasy points to wideouts. But you’re not a fool and that 5th place finish means everything to you.

Cowboys/Eagles:

Can I have a Philly win here so that Gratliff can have a boner and also because chaos? I do love to see two under-performing teams bring the NFC East to new lows and Dallas not being able to separate itself from the detritus of the rest of the division despite having a stranglehold on ‘best talent’. Congrats if you have Ertz-the coaching staff took a mere 11 weeks to figure out that the wr corps was garbage fire plus. Amari owners should pray that he’ll be covered by Jalen Mills who has given up an *average* of 20 yards per reception the last 4 weeks.

Cards/Seahawks:

Just put Arizona to bed by throwing to any and all tight ends. Across the season they average more than one TD given up per game to that spot.

Go Comments Go! YAY!!! [jumps up and down]

 

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Spur
Spur

That stadium looks filthy. Do these people live there?

Spur

weak

Gratliff

Extremely incredibly flagrantly indefensibly late hit

Gratliff

This late hit brought to you by CTE

Gratliff

Man, Witten used to just run through people on those throws. I mean, I’m happy he’s not talking anymore, but Jesus, he looks so old.

Spur

he’s stealing Jarwin snaps

Gratliff

My guy just sort of slumped gently over a 5’2″ linebacker

Unsurprised

Gfycat has a porn and sexy friday-like version now. Just what I always wanted.

Spur
Unsurprised

I was going to post pics of Tippy Hedren and Melanie Griffith as Lions Fans to contrast with Mistborn’s Broncos Fans, but I think only half would get the joke.

Unsurprised

Also I got distracted because I can’t even stay distracted on this one site.

Col. Duke LaCross

I saw that movie in a theater a couple years ago! It’s every bit as insane as you can imagine.

Spur

Why aren’t these idiots sneaking on 3rd and 1? oh well, bird brain and all

Spur

and THEN 4 and 1!

Unsurprised

I’m sorry. I don’t know why that black frame is there. I’ll fix it and re-upload.

Spur

No. Can we let Dallas have one more hit on Ertz. Please.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Kay Jewelers; because you don’t know how to eat pussy.

Gratliff

The 4 teams that had an OT game this week do not have 10 wins between them. A fitting statement on the season.

Spur

damn, that was a ugly looking kick.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Darby had 30 seconds to be in the way of that ball and opted instead to move out of it

King Hippo

Changed my mind – Brian Flores, all-time entropy champion – COACH OF THE YEAR

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

My understanding of Fallen Order is that it’s Dark Souls until you remember you’re a Jedi and start stabbing things while you hold them in the air

Gratliff

Won’t be comfortable as long as Amari is ambulatory

Spur

going to need some strong stuff if am going to watch this dumpster fire.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think it has caught the house.

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Spur

That’s a start

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Jesus christ. Why is Cincy-Miami still happening? There’s no need to do that to the fans

Spur

so they both get the 1st pick?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Most glorious tie ahoy!

Spur

so, the plan is let the Eagles tucker themselves out by halftime?

Gratliff

FUCKIN WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

oooo

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

oo

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[cough]

Gratliff

Okay, Buck absolutely thinks there’s a TH in Arcega

Gratliff

I don’t know who Robert Davis is!

Spur

That Philly crowd has been drinking since Friday.

Gratliff

Punt false start that’s taking 10 minutes to figure out

Gratliff

Building incredible confidence in the officiating crew and in no way are the pig scab refs gonna rob of us of a home playoff game

King Hippo

COMMENTIST PARTY DEMANDS TWO DRAWS

Gratliff

JENKINS

Mistborn Impossible

Does anyone else watch that Hungarian porn channel where the guy only fucks virgins, and he always makes a point of checking out the girl’s hymen first? I’m always like, yep, that’s definitely a hymen (I have no idea whatsoever)

Mr. Ayo

Link?!?!?

Unsurprised

Once. It was creepy.

Mr. Ayo

Free terrible fitbawl coming up!

Fronkenshteen

Breakout performanth for Arthega-Whitethide?

/ no offenth

Mr. Ayo

LOLfins

King Hippo

16 points in the final 30 seconds.

Gratliff

JJAW been trash all year as a swerve to catch Dallas off guard in Week 16

WCS
Fronkenshteen

Today’s alcoholic gauge reading would appear to be “Am I too drunk to make tacos?”

[furrows brow]

Yeah, I could make tacos right now.

[opens beer]

Mr. Ayo

The BUNGLES!

Mistborn Impossible

Famous Broncos fans: actress Lucy Hale!
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Gratliff

oh hi JJAW. Did you just realize you play football professionally for a living?

Mistborn Impossible

Famous Broncos fans: actress Kate Hudson:
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Gratliff

If you’re not going to the playoffs, make sure Zeke isn’t either

The Maestro

“THESE [REDACTEDS] Y’KNOW I CALL ‘EM [REDACTEDS] BECAUSE JUST LIKE THE REAL THING THEY REFUSE TO JUST GO AWAY”

Fronkenshteen

Where do I send your dough? *sob*

Unsurprised

— S. Miller

hippofant

lol chargers

Mr. Ayo

Go fer two Potato Skins. End this.

Fronkenshteen

Fuck Hunter Renfrow with Al Davis’ corpse.

Spur

Let’s do this

herodotus450

I’ve been making Zach Hyman jokes for years and nobody even noticed.

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