Your “All Hail Our Blessed Saviour, Soccer” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Noise:

• It’s all about reducing capacity & costs today:
  • The Ravens announced they will go as low as 14,000 per home game, to accommodate social distancing.
    • That’s 80% below their maximum capacity of 71,000 fans.
    • No word on Purple camo masks.
  • The Chiefs have announced a season-ticket holder-only plan.
    • They have refunded all single-game purchases.
      • Ticket face price only; if bought through a reseller, the fan is responsible for chasing down the difference.
    • The team will hold onto the 2020 season-ticket payment, and allow purchase of single-game tickets using the balance to draw down.
      • Or, holders can opt-out of 2020 as a whole, preventing them from buying the single-game tickets.
    • They have not yet established an attendance mean for the season.
  • On-air staff at NFL Media have been asked to take a pay cut.
    • Up to 50 NFL Network on-air employees have been asked to take voluntary pay cuts of up to 15 percent.
      • They start in August, and will go for as long as six months.

• Got a hundred grand lying around? Then Heritage Auctions has a deal for you – Josh Gordon’s Super Bowl LIII ring.
  • He played with them long enough to qualify for the creation of a ring.
    • The thinking is that missing four years of pay due to suspension might be the cause & effect of the whole scenario.

• Amazon today joined Nike, Walmart, Target and Dick’s Sporting Goods among companies to remove [Redacteds] merchandise for sale online. 
  • Third-party sellers have 48 hours to remove or conclude all listings.
  • The only major retailers to still carry the goods online are Fanatics.com and NFLShop.com.
  • To quote Florio,
    • Amazon’s gesture has added significance because Amazon founder and owner Jeff Bezos owns the Washington Post — and he already has been mentioned as a viable candidate to secure majority ownership in the franchise, if Daniel Snyder throws his hands in the air and cashes out.

• Raheem Mostert wants out of San Francisco.
  • Under his current contract, he is paid commensurate to a special-teams player.
    • Given what he did in the NFC playoffs, he wants to be paid like the running back they used him as.
  • He wants a raise to $4.55 million, which is what they will be paying newly signed Tevin Coleman.
    • he’s set to earn $2.55 million in 2020.

Tonight, a major North American sports league returns to work as Major League Soccer (MLS – not to be confused with real estate or not-Lou Gehrig’s Disease) returns to the pitch with their “MLS is Back” tournament. I know you have lots of questions, so I’m here to help you with some practical answers to your confused questions.

Average [DFO] Reader: So Beerguy, what the hell is this shit anyway?

Beerguyrob: Glad you asked. “MLS is Back” is a restart tournament, being played out of the ESPN Wide World of Sports Complex in Orlando, Florida. It’s designed to pique interest in a league that suspended operations two weeks into the season due to COVID-19.

A[DFO]R: What the fuck does that mean. 

BGR: Easy there, son. What it means is that the league’s 26 teams were split into six groups based on their conference. There was one group of six teams, and all the others had five, but now that Dallas has completely pulled out due to their whole team testing positive, it’s five groups of five.

A[DFO]R: How will it unfold?

BGR:  Each team will play three group stage matches, and the results will count toward the 2020 MLS regular season standings. Once the group stage is done, the knockout stage will begin. It’s set-up like the Euro – the top two from each group, plus the next four best records will qualify for the playoff stages. They will then play single-elimination knockout games until there is only one remaining.

A[DFO]R: When the hell are they playing the games, because it gets sticky in Florida this time of year.

BGR: Not if you grease the poles. Anyways, to beat the severe summer heat, matches will only be played during select time slots, with group-stage games almost exclusively scheduled to kick off at 9 a.m., 8 p.m., or 10:30 p.m. Eastern time.

A[DFO]R: Well, that sounds awful. What will they get for winning? They’re in Florida – is Robert Kraft involved?

BGR: No, but I like where your head is at. The tournament winner will qualify for the 2021 CONCACAF Champions League. Plus, there is a prize pool of over a million dollars to split.

[Door Flies Open]

Hippo: DAMMIT MAN – WILL THERE BE GAMBLING?!

BGR: Oh my, yes. It’s one of the few ways they’ve been able to generate interest. Have a look here for the latest odds.

Hippo: PRAISE FUCKING GAMBLOR! HIPPO OUT!!

A[DFO]R: Who. The Fuck. Was That Guy?

BGR: Hippo. Wasn’t that fucking obvious?

A[DFO]R: Y’know – you’ve got a major fucking attitude…

BGR: Listen Karen, just go back to hate-tweeting JK Rowling & let me get on with finishing this. Once the tournament is over, the regular season for the league will resume, with an amended schedule of games so that they can hold their playoffs sometime before the Tokyo Olympics.

A[DFO]R: When’s the first game then, shithead?

BGR: Tonight. And here’s the overall schedule, subject to change based on positive tests. So go crawl onto your couch & prepare to flip between soccer & wrestling. because – c’mon, you’re not watching 90 minutes of Orlando City vs. Inter Miami.

A[DFO]R: Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry for being such a dink.

BGR: No worries. Fuck you very much.

Tonight’s… entertainment?:

• MLS is Back Tournament:
  • Orlando City SC vs. Inter Miami CF – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • A Group A match.
• Wrasslin’:
  • AEW Dynamite – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN2
    • Night 2 of “Fyter Fest”
  • NXT – 8:00PM | USA
    • Night 2 of “The Great American Bash”
  • Dark Side of the Ring – TSN2
    • The Montreal Screwjob – 10:00PM
    • The Match Made In Heaven – 11:00PM
• Bigfoot Is Real: Sasquatch Nests – 10:00PM | TRAVEL
  • Bobby and Brandi bring the GCBRO to help out a lady whose home and pets have been attacked by Bigfoot and she’s taken some shots at the creature.

MLS’s return is a sign that leagues are coming back to life. How many employees independent contractors they kill in the process? Who knows.