Greetings everyone.
I trust these missives find you alive and well.
Last weekend was the 4th of July weekend and I celebrated as any red blooded atheist American would; by cooking smoldering bits of animal flesh over an open fire.
It’s what I was born to do.
The 4th is always an interesting holiday. Way back in the day the 4th was my wedding anniversary with the former Mrs. right. Alas, it’s been a whole fucking shitload of years since I’ve needed to recognize that insanity.
More recently though there is a new reason to celebrate. The 4th is littlest right’s birthday. That’s my youngest granddaughter. Since I’m doing what everybody else in this fucked up Divided States of America should be doing, I couldn’t celebrate with her in person. Which fucking sucked. We did a group ZOOM gathering and I wished her happy birthday that way.
I wish it was otherwise.
Since we had a 3 day weekend for the 4th, I did my patriotic duty and grilled every goddamn day. As one should!
Since I’ve got a great biggol heap of recipes to give AND since I’ve been busier than fuck-all at work this past week, we’re gonna jump right in head first. Hope you won’t seriously miss my dazzling wit and witty repartee too much.
We’ve got grilling to do dammit!
Let’s start with day one! Friday July 3rd and the menu for that day.
Cumin rubbed pork chops and pineapple/jalapeno salsa!
Yes, we’ve made this before, several times I believe but I don’t give a shit, it’s one of my favorite grilled items ever.
For the pork chops, score yourself some bone-in sirloin chops. I like mine in the medium thickness range.
Yes, we will be brining them overnight prior to grilling. Two things I always brine before grilling are pork chops and boneless/skinless chicken breast. That’s if we haven’t made another fancier marinade instead.
Let’s build the brine.
Simple! Add a couple of bay leaves, a handful of peppercorns and some crushed garlic to a bowl. Then bring one cup of water to a boil and dump in 3 tablespoons of kosher salt to dissolve. Add some ice cubes and cold water to cool the brine down – that would be about 2 additional cups worth of liquid.
Next we place the chops in a 1 gallon ziptop bag and add in the cooled brine. Place in the refrigerator overnight.
Next day, remove the chops from the fridge and get up to room temp.
Now we’re going to get a rub on our brined chops.
Combine two tablespoons of cumin with about 1 teaspoon of chile powder, some salt and pepper and add in some olive oil to make a loose paste.
What is that? Maybe two or three tablespoons of olive oil?
Sure.
Get that rub all over the chops. Both sides. Careful with the rub, that’ll stain your favorite grilling shirt if you’re not careful
Lets get started on our salsa.
Pineapple/fire roasted jalapeno salsa!
A fresh pineapple butchered and cored. We will use about half of a pineapple.
2 jalapenos – fire roasted
About 1/4 cup of a small red onion – minced
Juice of 1/2 of a fresh lime. Save the other half for an upcoming recipe.
A couple of sprigs of fresh cilantro – optional
Let’s fire roast them jalapenos.
Get them charred all over like this.
That’s the ticket. Place some plastic wrap over that bowl and let the jalapenos steam for a minute or two to help loosen the blistered skin.
Now? Mince the red onion
Then we’ve got our peeled jalapenos that we will de-seed and mince thusly.
Get the peppers and onion in a bowl and get to work on that pineapple.
Smaller chunks for the pineapple.
Add the pineapple into the bowl and squeeze in the lime juice. Add the minced cilantro here if you’re using it. Toss well to combine.
Fucking beautiful.
This can be made a day in advance.
Now let’s get some fresh corn ready for the grill. I add some butter, a little essence and some grates of fresh parmesan over the corn then wrap it up in foil.
Get this party on the grill.
Flip the chops over and turn the corn.
That’s lookin’ pretty goddamn tasty.
It’s about 4-5 minutes per side for the chops and twenty total minutes for the corn. Rotate the corn a couple of times during the grilling.
Serve it up.
Add some of that salsa on top of the pork chop.
Good night Irene!
No I didn’t make the beans and yes that is a disposable plate.
The freshness of the salsa and the little kick from the jalapeno perfectly offset the smokiness from the chops. The salsa pairs with the cumin incredibly. Add in the fresh grilled corn? At the end of this meal I said “It’s gonna be pretty fucking hard to beat this meal over the next 2 days.” It was insanely delicious.
Next day was Saturday July 4th!
How about grilling some traditional burgers for the 4th? Sounds fucking delicious.
Yes, you know what comes next.
If you want the complete details go here. That’s my building a better burger post and it gets into the minutiae.
We are doing this motherfucker from scratch.
All of it.
For this I ground up a 2 1/2 pound chuck roast and since that’s a bit too lean for a burger I also ground up 5 slices of bacon that I chopped into smaller pieces.
It looked like this.
I worked the living fuck out of my Kitchenaid on the 4th. First I ground the meat with the grinder attachment.
Now shape the meat into patties.
Last time I didn’t add anything, just let the meat do the talking but this time I added an egg, some salt, pepper, garlic powder and onion powder along with a handful of crushed tortilla chips and then shaped into the burger patties.
Are you making those homemade buns again?
The fuck you think?
Yes, the Kitchenaid was used for the dough. I love that goddamn thing.
Please take note of the shape of the buns. There are incremental improvements each time I make bread and this time was no exception. Fucking hell they were gorgeous. And stupid delicious.
You have any idea the smells we had going? Grilling burgers and homemade bread baking?
I think my neighbors may hate me.
Slice that bun in half for service and to admire.
Get a burger on there.
And dress as desired. My first burger was just a bit of mayo and a tiny bit of barbecue sauce. My baseline burger.
Now I’m going to show you something truly fucking special. I mean it broke my goddamn mind special.
That’s some of our leftover pineapple/ fire roasted jalapeno salsa leftover from yesterday. I put the salsa on my second burger – so I ate 2 burgers don’t judge me!
Mother of God that may have been the best burger I’ve EVER had. The smokiness from the charcoal and the bacon and the fresh salsa with the afore-mentioned jalapeno kick?
Fuck right off!
After dinner I went online and started searching for Best Burger competitions – dead serious. This bad boy is absolutely competition ready and given the chance – maybe when we have a vaccine – I intend to prove it. I lost my damn mind with that burger.
What can we do for a Sunday Finale?
Here’s a new one.
Grilled salmon with a soy/brown sugar glaze.
A piece or two of fresh salmon for each person
1/3 cup of soy sauce
1/3 cup of brown sugar
2 cloves of minced garlic.
The remaining fresh lime half – sliced into thin slices.
1/4 cup of olive oil.
Get yourself some nice salmon steaks and place in a yet another gallon freezer bag.
Make the marinade. Combine the brown sugar, soy, lime, garlic and oil and mix it well.
Add the marinade to the bag and bag and tag for a couple “too tree” hours.
Get those salmon steaks on the grill.
Your choice here. I tried cooking the salmon directly on the grill as well as cooking in foil. Fish can definitely stick to your grill surface especially with some brown sugar added to the mix. I had great results with both techniques.
That’s some flaky-ass shit right there! That was the salmon steak cooked directly on the grill and damn was that skin extra crispy.
Look at it!
As a side I’m going to make one of my old familiars:
Turmeric rice.
Yes, we have.
1 cup of rice
2 cups of liquid – no chicken stock today so I used water
1/3 cup of minced onion
2 cloves of garlic – minced
1/2 tablespoon of turmeric
Salt and pepper to taste.
Start your rice by sauteing the onion. Give it about 5 minutes or so then quickly add in the garlic. Now in goes the rice.
Saute for about 4-5 minutes until the rice gets toasty then add the turmeric and give a stir.
Yep, that’s some yellow ass shit right there.
Add in the water, bring to a boil, cover tightly with a lid, reduce the heat to LOW and simmer undisturbed for about 17 minutes.
That’s real nice. Season with salt and pepper as desired.
Now we’re going to plate it up.
Side salad and some garlic bread.
(NO I didn’t make the bread today. I may be crazy but I’m not fucking crazy enough to do bread on back-to-back days.)
Serve with a nice white wine – pinot grigio today.
Drop the fucking mike.
The soy and sugar balance each other out creating almost a barbecue sauce thing. A little citrus tang and the garlicky goodness. The marinade is subtle and more of an enhancement. This is some of the best grilled salmon ever. Simple and rich and meaty and goddammit I want to make some more of it right the fuck now!
I slept like a rock when these 3 days were over. It was an absolutely phenomenal weekend of food. Each meal equaled each other yet each one stood on it’s own. Three very different menus with equal amounts of success.
I need a nap just after writing about this.
Try one or try them all cuz I’m sure you’ll find something that tantalizes.
Thanks for reading good folks. I appreciate you being there.
Let’s stay on point, get out of this pandemic – eventually? -and try to find some sort of normalcy in this, the year of our fucking lord 2020.
Love you all!
PEACE and EQUALITY!
[…] It’s cool when I can copy and paste from my own recipes. Here’s the info for the brine. This is from a previous grilling post. […]
I oversalted my chops last time I made them because I made a big boo boo—i didn’t heat the brine, just poured that salty shit right over the piggy
We have a third Final Four contestant. Perhaps even more surprising than the ’88 Dodgers is their upstate rival, the 2012 Giants. A 14-seed, they crushed the upstart 16th-seeded ’67 Red Sox 20-6 in Game Six to claim the upset-ridden Jack Buck Region. They await the winner of the ’61 Yanks and the ’29 Athletics, with the pinstripes leading 3 games to 2.
Yeah, the 2012 Giants are another surprise. I don’t remember watching them and thinking, “This is one of they top four teams of all time!”
Experimenting with my new acquisition: Ginger Canton liqueur. So far the “ginger margarita” is a solid winner. 3:2:1 blanco tequila, ginger liqueur, and lime, on the rocks with a cherry garnish.
Canton is delicious
That sounds great! I wonder how it would be frozen?
Frozen isn’t really my preference, though I don’t say no if that’s what on offer.
It might be suboptimal in that, even on the rocks, the cold mutes the ginger flavor. You really have to roll it around your mouth a bit to get that ginger heat. (“Ginger Heat” has got to be a series of adult films, right?) But maybe tweaking the ratio or adding a slice of raw ginger might balance it out.
I don’t have AC up here, and it’s hotter than hell. I would drink frozen arsenic right now!
Check this ass out.
Fancy! Junque in the trunque.
You can camp on that back bumper
I need to say that to my lady friend. She might like it…
Returning to the see after mating, rarely seen in the light of day.
Shirley Bassey and her backing band? Yeah, they’ve been there…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzLT6_TQmq8
A little background: I’m the youngest of four brothers and eldest brother, TAJ and I share our “mansion on the beach.” Brother 2 lives out in Riverside and we haven’t seen him since the holidays. TAJ was texting him today to check in and found out, he’s one of “them.”
He refuses to wear a mask. REFUSES. He went to church today with 150 or so other like individuals. His idiot fucking minister has convinced his whole idiot flock that the virus is a hoax. He even said TAJ was ” drinking the Koolaid.”
Now the punchline. Motherfucker showed up here unannounced on the 4th of July to hang out. TAJ told him to go home and he can’t just show up unannounced. He didn’t even get out of his car.
That stupid fuck wanted to bring that shit into my house!
I sent him a text and said his behavior is astronomically idiotic and borderline criminal. Then I deleted his info and blocked his number. Fuck that. I’m still shaking over here. He tried to bring into my fucking house!
Fucking aggressively clueless.
“TL:DR”
-Patriots
That penis is way too big
Damn good point.
My brother is a respiratory therapist at the largest hospital in Pittsburgh. He used to be cool, until he turned into a racist Trumptard. I don’t talk to him, other than quick texts at holidays and birthdays. I would imagine his life is hellish right now. Wonder if it brought on any self reflection? Don’t care enough to call and find out.
All you had to say was Riverside…
Hey! My father in law and Gumby’s sister and her family live in Riverside. It’s not all mouth breathers. Mostly mouth breathers, granted, but not all!
One of the guys that works for me lives in Riverside. He’s a nose-breather. I’d say it’s 75% mouthbreather over there…
That’s probably it. The only reason Gumby’s in law live there is sister in laws wife is a professor at UCR. Not the best location in Socal for a gay family, but still better than 99% of the rest of the country. They liked Pasadena better, when she worked at JPL/ NASA. UCR made her a full professor, without her ever teaching a class. Now she’s the chair of the Physics department, and still does research on the side.
I like the term maskhole for peeps that don’t wear as mask
Of course Jamie Vardy has a tramp stamp of his own name
https://twitter.com/MenInBlazers/status/1282385261406674944?s=19
I would have bet on “88” or the lightning bolt thingy