NFL Nuggets: One week ’til kickoff!
- It’s always 420 at practice – Josh Gordon is back with the Seahawks.
- The Seahawks signed him to a one-year deal, with a base salary of $1 million plus incentives.
- They just need to wait on Roger to reinstate him.
- This shuts the door on any Antonio Brown rumours in Seattle.
- Partly because Gordon already knows the offense; mostly because Brown is the bigger headache for management.
- With Tyler Lockett and DK Metcalf entrenched as the #1 & 2 receivers, the pressure will be off Gordon to be “the man”, something that has held him back in his other stops.
- The Seahawks signed him to a one-year deal, with a base salary of $1 million plus incentives.
- There’s something wrong with the leg training at Niners camp, as Jason Verrett is the latest player to succumb to a leg injury.
- It’s a possible hamstring tear; the team is waiting on further results.
- He joins a long line that includes Kyle Juszczyk, Nick Bosa, J.J. Nelson & Deebo Samuel.
- The Titans have signed Mike Vrabel’s ex-teammate Stephen Gostkowski.
- Even though he only played in four games last year, the Titans felt it was necessary given they only have undrafted rookie Tucker McCann as an alternative.
Well, it’s back to school starting Tuesday. Might as well warm up the vocal chords.
Only nine years until retirement. I hope I can hold out. My other retirement strategy isn’t going as well.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Flyers vs. Islanders – 7:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet / CBC
- Game 6 – Isles lead 3-2
- Vegas vs. Vancouver – 9:45PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet / CBC
- Game 6 – Vegas leads 3-2
- Flyers vs. Islanders – 7:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet / CBC
- NBA:
- Raptors vs. Celtics – 6:30PM | TNT / TSN
- Game 3 – Celtics lead 2-0
- I want to root for “Canada’s Team”, but since the media doesn’t love the Canucks in the same way, fuck them.
- Nuggets vs. Clippers – 9:00PM | TNT / TSN4
- Game 1
- Raptors vs. Celtics – 6:30PM | TNT / TSN
- Tennis:
- US Open – all day | ESPN / TSN3
- Southern hemisphere tackle sports:
- Australian Rules Football:
- Brisbane vs. Collingwood – 5:30AM | TSN
- NRL Rugby:
- Newcastle Knights vs. Cronulla-Sutherland Sharks – 4:00 AM | FS1
- Australian Rules Football:
Balls will have you tomorrow, and after that it’s whatever I drunkenly type between dives over a three-day weekend.
It’s a Triple Lindy kind of weekend.
I believe there is a hockey player named ROFL
WOW!
Fuck it. Flyers winning the next 6 cups
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHh
Stanley Cup Finals OT games have to be better than cocaine.
The only person who can say for sure is probably Mike Richards.
“Hold my straw.”
— Kevin Stevens
Definitely last longer.
Gotta remember to breathe from time to time
I just got word that there will be a winner of this Flyer/Islander game
The real winners are the walls and girlfriends of the winning team’s fans.
HOLY SHIT THAT WAS CLOSE!
FUCKING GAH
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">why watch overtime playoff hockey when you can simply snort cocaine and ride a motorcycle out of a helicopter</p>— Jon Bois (@jon_bois) <a href="https://twitter.com/jon_bois/status/456616952153128960?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 17, 2014</a></blockquote>Could be worse, could be double OT in an elimination game of a Final you’ve been thoroughly outplayed in 3rd periods after playing decently well in the first two periods of every single game, and pucks off posts repeatedly.
Why? Why would you say that. Now I need to mainline rye
And now, we take you live to Gratliff:
Can just feel my blood pressure surging as I prepare for a scream of utter joy or despair. It is the same scream.
elimination game double OT fucking hell
All these guys gonna blow out their immune systems and get the Rona for the finals.
They used to go the opposite route.
Obviously meant to be a response to the other one
Why do the flyers have black nameplates with white letters — instead of just black letters?
It’s a throwback to the first Philly TV broadcasts. It made the names easier to spot on analog TVs.
It’s a penalty to knock the puck out of bounds?
To clear it from the defensive zone over the glass without it hitting the glass or another stick is a delay of game.
Oh that seems reasonable. So shooting it with power and sending it to the stands is just a face off?
Yeah. Location of it moves around depending on who touched it last.
Have the Ice Iggles thought about not being outshot 2.5-1?
Shhh, this is the most they’ve scored all series
It doesn’t have to be getting more SOG, it can be giving up fewer SOG!
Carter Hart sitting at 48 saves and I want to die
Betting my child’s future on an Oskar Lindblom OT goal
TBD minutes left. NHL Playoffs Game 6 OT, jesus fuck
Yeaux.
Sign up or opt out of my dopey fantasy football league. You all should’ve got the link.
In!
I think I signed in
Is it open to dipshits who want to draft Minshew only because he loves his look?
Speaking of Minshew, in other porn ‘stache news, Ron Jeremy is in some trouble. Dude, rape, honestly? You spent several decades getting more ass than a toilet seat, and got paid for it!
I’ve seen him in Vegas many times. I have a signed copy of the game BoneTown in my closet. He’s a major asshole.
Are you referring to Minshew or Jeremy?
Jeremy.
Always!
https://fantasy.espn.com/football/league/join?leagueId=70181198&inviteId=b35d561a-e422-442a-9341-cd4f4061ebcf
the League is called Door Flies Open (clever, eh?)
I won a league last year.
I was not invited back.
fu~ck
Vigneault’s problem seems to be that he has the wrong Swedish twins on his mind. I guess The Brass Rail isn’t inside the bubble.
Oh man, the Brass Rail had some incredible talent, I still remember some of those women from when I was there 14 years ago. Best looking women out of any strip club I have been to.
We had my brother’s first stag there 25 years ago. Just a solid time.
Personal Foul. Leading with the helmet.
BAD CALL!! HE DID NOT HAVE TIME TO GET ERECT.
The end of the Raptors game? HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LET’S FUCKING GO REDUX
“Draw me like one of your dead girls”
20 minutes to live. At least make it watchable.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vN0JTiPlxnw
“We’ll take ‘Turn, Turn, Turn’, for $600, Alex.”
-The Byrds
UAB is up 14-0 over Central Arkansas at the end of the first quarter. Go Blazers!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFNyiV7AMDI
LOL
dude just got kneed in the nuts
nutshot
NOT DEAD YET
The one immutable fact of pro wrestling, when they get backed into a corner and have to get creative without having time to overthink it, more often its not, its amazing.
The Cinematic Wrestling Matches this year have been great.
> Styles-Undertaker was able to showcase Taker’s strengths while hiding his weaknesses, allowing him to end his career on a high note.
> Firefly Funhouse Match was so crazy, it almost counts as art.
> The two Money in the Bank matches were average, but being held in different parts of WWE HQ kept it interesting.
> The Stadium Stampede Match though was the best wrestling match overall. It was able to find the right balance between cinematic and wrestling.
It was a beautifully edited spectacle.
Found a hack that actually worked.
Warning, promotes work laziness.
If in Micro$oft Teams and w you wish your status to quit switching to away while you are slacking. Place an analog watch underneath your mouse sensor and voila, the second hand’s movement keeps you “available”.
That’s pretty funny.
Also schedule meetings with yourself in Outlook and then it automatically sets to in a meeting while you nap.
Rumor has it that blazing stewardesses give good headly.
They must work for Frontier Airline.
h
ttps://64.media.tumblr.com/087a2e2ba8bfcfced7e4ca832f623bfd/5756062cdf467c67-8d/s500x750/e89b180d2ab273ec23c14591a36c911aa433488f.jpg
Welp. Can’t unsee that.
Homer just needs a shave.
Vigneault is actually a trojan horse from the Rangers to ensure continued Flyers playoff failure
That’s a hack alright!
The strategy of “turtle and Lundqvist will steal this game” doesn’t work too well with a team with such rich goal-tending history as the Flyers have*
*Hart looks like the real deal though.
Thinking about how Bobrovsky was ruined during the Bryzgalov shenanigans, sent packing, and then won multiple Vezinas
Every person who has even taken care of a terminal relative has said this at one point, and it is entirely out of love … most of the time.
Not the joke.
Got an unsolicited letter from someplace called Acurian Health asking me to volunteer for a COVID-19 Vaccine Study. Quick online search showed several complaints. Free advice: Always do the research before volunteering personal and medical information. In shitty times like these, that’s when scammers thrive.
What makes you think I don’t already have them?
Prove it – you’re from Cincinnati, eat some Skyline without bloating.
I know Ray lived in his sleeper at the dump.
There could be unwanted side effects, though.
Already got that. Puberty hit me upside the face with a greasy 2×4.
You mean becoming Deadpool?
Vigneault is the most goal challenging motherfucker I’ve ever seen
Isles getting a GWG on a power play they got from AV’s worst challenge yet seems incredibly fitting way to end the series
What’s a retirement package like in CAN? The USA isn’t real “big” on those.
Free medical care and all the maple syrup you can eat?
A moose in every living room and a beaver in every pot?
For teachers, a pension based on your five highest earning years. Plus discounted Blue Cross until you die.
boston up by 10 at the half
Dropkick Murphys is heard in the distance
BAH GAWD! THAT’S MASSHOLE MUSIC!
She had excuses and she just used them
She was the victim of unspeakable abuses
Her husband was violent, malicious and distant
Her kids are now fans of teams in the state of Massachusetts
Your Hottest Take of the Day:
Steve Nash will eventually bale on the Nets as a coach just like he baled on the Canadian National Basketball Team as a player and president.
Steve Carell already did.
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There’s a Canadian National Basketball Team? Really?
“There is a Canadian National Basketball Team in theory, but not in practice.”
-A. Iverson
I think Nash is bigger than that.
But I may be wrong:
LETS FUCKING GO
-dude with an erection, waving a green flag at the start of the Houston 500
wow pattington bear has depression
Found a remarkably thorough breakdown of the Maple Leafs 50+ years of suckage courtesy of Urinating Tree.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25j6s-ZY3mY&ab_channel=UrinatingTree
Oskar Lindblom is PLAYING. Fuck yeah, let’s piss off some New Yorkers.
“Real fucking smart to pay your full income in rent for a 200 SF spot in a broom closet to live in a place that has you working from home and locked down under penalty of lonely death! Also, just root for New England. You’ve got two baseball teams, you asses don’t need to be playing football. If it doesn’t get any better, you can just go root for all of Boston’s teams because you don’t deserve your own!”
So, apparently reports of the new Grand Tour Madagascar episode debuting tomorrow were premature/mistaken.
https://www.grandtournation.com/thegrandtour/the-grand-tour-doesnt-look-like-its-returning-any-time-soon-as-release-date-removed-from-website/
-Update-We recently received an email from The Grand Tour’s PR team explaining to us that IMBD made an error when publishing the launch date of September 4th onto its website. This, as stated in this article, has now been removed. We’ve been told that the Madagascar Special episode will not be released on the 4th of this month, with the real release date being confirmed to be later this year.
FUCK! I was really looking to watching this at least a couple of times over the course of this long weekend.
I really wanted to see how they were all gonna fit in one car.
DAMNIT!
Heh.
Did ya hear about Jaromir Jagr signing with the Bucs too?
Only team he hasn’t played for.