Your “Lower…Lower…Lower” Monday Night Football Open Thread

There’s a lot not to like about the tilt on offer tonight if you’re a fan of well-played football. There’s not likely any meaty fantasy action to be had here. We’ll waddle on through as we always do though.

Fallout:

-Someone who has fallen out of a job (for now) is Takk McKinley who was just a bit too vocal about his desire to be traded. Did he at least play well? No he did not. What did running his mouth cost him? A 10 million dollar option. Movin’ on…

-Just when it seemed the Bucs were the best that the NFC had to offer, Brady lays an egg. By throwing 3 pics and barely crossing the 200 yard mark passing he had his third worst performance ever. There’s no doubt he and team will regain former footing but this came as a shock.

-Also shocking? Kalen Ballage-the guy who failed a Jets physical-racked up 84 yards of O and scored a TD. Completely out of nowhere! Doesn’t say much about Joshua Kelly, does it?

-Back on the injury bus is McCaffrey who was banged up on the Panthers last set of downs.

-Now This Is News! Danny Dimes went an entire game without turning the ball over, in just his 21st try! Yes, he did fumble twice but one went out of bounds and the other he recovered himself.

-Josh Allen sailed out of the doldrums with a fine performance and may have regained early-season form. A shoutout has to go to Bills OC Brian Daboll, a man that wants to shove the ground game down everyone’s throat. Recognizing that one can throw at will on Seattle’s secondary and that the game would likely be a race to 40 points, he unleashed all the dragons and got the W.

TO THE GAME!

Pats/Jets:

-This weekend of football flipped several narratives on their respective heads so maybe tonight Cam recaptures the magic? Or will it be the Elite Joe Flacco? The latter and his 52% completion look to do some damage vs a secondary that is without cb Gilmore.

-The Pats secondary has been coming around, allowing the third-least amount of fantasy points to wr’s the last 4 games. They’ll be dealing with (maybe) Crowder, Perriman, Mims and Berrios.

-Think that receiving crew is bad? Check out the Pats “”Posse of Inadequacy”, Myers, Byrd, Olszewski and some practice squadder whose name I forgot to write down. Lordy. There’s a few reasons why New England has only 1(!) TD pass through the air the last 4 weeks.

It’s all up to you guys now.

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clint greasewood

Are we going to get OT?

Viva La Tabula Raza

DOINK time!!!

Senor Weaselo

I’m gonna say nawt a catch

Redshirt

When the last time the Jets and Pats have both been this bad?

Senor Weaselo

Mid-90s?

Viva La Tabula Raza

1995
New England (6–10) N.Y. Jets (3–13)

The Maestro

LET’S FUCKIN’ GOOOOOOOOOOO

Viva La Tabula Raza

FLACCOCEPTION!!

Gratliff

Ah, there’s Joe Flacco

Redshirt

I’m all for the Patriots losing, but the Jets winning seems weird.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tom Brady’s offensive line never got called for holding

herodotus450

Aww why did no one mention this is the Nick Folk revenge game? It only happens twice a year!

The Maestro

INFINITE JETS!

Senor Weaselo

Needs more Jets.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, the Enfield Tennis Academy was in Boston.

Mr. Ayo

*squeaking wheels intensify*

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You can give the Jets a lead, but you can’t make them stop Jetsing

Senor Weaselo

12 men on the FG leading to a first down? Bra-fucking-vo.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Once again, the Pavlovian ref response to bail out the Pats. Dudes, TB is in TB now.

Game Time Decision

There’s the Jets i know

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I NEED 3.5 FUCKING POINTS FROM NEWTON, COME ON

Senor Weaselo

Man down!

Gumbygirl

It seems my technical issues are getting resolved. I’m here by the grace of whomever was on the help desk today, thank you! I haven’t been able to see any posts since the day before Halloween, did I miss anything?

herodotus450

Uhhh, let’s just say, no.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Democrats stole an election but reelected a bunch of GOP senators

Game Time Decision

Did you try turning it off and back on again?

Gumbygirl

Over and over. I swore at it a lot, and then I gave up and went to sleep. You should see my beard!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just let Cam have one more TD

Senor Weaselo

Padre Weaselo: “Jacoby & Myers? What are they doing here?”

Sharkbait

Damnit The Manadalorian is so good

Game Time Decision

Good. No spoilers pls. On the list

Unsurprised
Gratliff

Why the fuck is tim tebow on my tv

Unsurprised

Because he didn’t touch himself.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Circumcision ads?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Demanding vote recount?

Senor Weaselo

So this means I’m dropping the P*ts defense tomorrow, I assume.

Spur

am clocking out. Laundry and some AUS emails need to go out.

Later Folks.

Don T

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Game Time Decision

Relish war does not start, so leaves

/anything is better than this game

Don T

I love pickles. Sweet relish, however, is The Hulk’s placenta.

Game Time Decision

Yep. Have it around for guests. Its gross

Viva La Tabula Raza

Let’s get Magary in here to talk about mayonnaise.

Unsurprised

Let’s roast the fuck out of him for hanging Xmas Ape out to dry and then having both of them fuck off forever.

rockingdog

found a funny:

waiter: is 2% milk okay

me: i’ll take the non alcoholic actually

Sharkbait

I started watching when New England was up 7-3. It’s now 20-10. Imma watch the 2 Manadalorian episodes in behind on and home my bet is still alive after this game.

But still hang out here of course.

Last edited 3 years ago by Sharkbait
Spur

Relish is disgusting.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Isn’t it just finely diced pickles? I’ve never tried it in 60 years, based upon my dislike of pickles and that it looks like vomit.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Spur

I should clarify, I hate sweet relish.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I only eat it on a Chicago style hot dog.
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Viva La Tabula Raza

Made of pig hooves, tails, sphincters, lips, and slaughterhouse floor sweepings? Oh wait, that’s ALL hotdogs.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
clint greasewood

Monday night Patriots @ Jets. I’m sure Suzy Kolber still has a restraining order on Broadway Joe.

King Hippo

You know, the Premiership manages to do a really nice job every year with Remembrance Day – without dressing up their sideline personnel like pretend soldiers.

Doktor Zymm

The AFL match I went to was on ANZAC day. They did a lovely ceremony that wasn’t the least bit tasteless or over-militarized.

Spur

Most of players do flop around the pitch like they’ve been hit with chorine gas all season

WCS

This is how the Jest lose the first pick. and New England somehow acquires it.

Game Time Decision

Just tuning in, so Flacco good? Or is NE that bad?

Sharkbait

Oh it’s the latter

Game Time Decision

Not used to NE being bad.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve been mentally preparing myself for this inevitable nosedive for several years, so I’m handling it pretty well. It’s like I’m stepped into a time machine and was set down in the 1980s or 90’s. Wish I could be under 40 again too.

Sharkbait

I’ve been tempering expectations about this season so I knew it was coming. Enjoyed the 20 year run, fully ready for the opposite side of the pendulum

The Maestro

I am unaccustomed to this. I turn 28 on Friday. I have hardly any memories of the Bledsoe era. Never even saw Steve Grogan play.

(I am a child. It’s pathetic.)

Sharkbait

I’m 35, so I do remember Bledsoe era. The Packers SB was extremely disappointing for young Sharkbait

Viva La Tabula Raza

The Chicago vs NE SB was a real kick in the nuts for me; I was Maestro’s age at the time.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

My “nephews” (sons of my two female cousins) range in age from 25 to 30, and all grew up in Mansfield (town just east of Foxboro, you can see the glow of the stadium from my cousin’s front porch during night games). Like you, they have known nothing but success since they became football-aware and assume that it’s just the natural order of the universe. I’ve been telling them and their friends for several years that the return to mediocrity was coming, and I think it’s finally dawning on them that Uncle Brian was right after all.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Grogan owns a sports supply company (think high school uniforms and helmets and pads) in my hometown of Mansfield, my cousin is his attorney. She says he’s a bit of a dick.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Senor Weaselo

I feel like this is my fault for starting the P*ts defense.

Sharkbait

Assdicks.

Spur

Assassin Creed: Proud Boys Wet Dream

LemonJello

You get to re-enact Kristallnacht?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Or The Turner Diaries.

Recovery Whiskey

Set in Portland or Seattle

Spur

One of quest is stealing your sisters PT Cruiser for raid on the Public Library

Game Time Decision

In Michigan

Senor Weaselo

This isn’t good, trading their FGs for TDs.

Spur

Starting to believe the Trump starting his own news network rumors. Fox News is stopping to carry his water.

Let them fight

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-election-2020/kayleigh-mcenany-press-conference-today-fox-news-trump-b1720003.html

herodotus450

But we already have the Glenn Beck network, what more could we want!?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Where are these good throws from Flacco coming from?

Recovery Whiskey

Biden lives in Delaware. Flacco played at Delaware. Its a Blue Hen World now

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think that’s a catch.

Recovery Whiskey

Thats a TD

Game Time Decision

Of course. He’s on my bench

Brocky

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King Hippo

I know I always thought I’d never suck a dick, but she’s got me thinkin’

Unsurprised

You’re not my supervisor

King Hippo

I hope y’all enjoyed the weekend, because next Sabado, we get no Premiership and THIS turd of a JV slate:

https://www.espn.com/college-football/scoreboard/_/group/80/year/2020/seasontype/2/week/11

Recovery Whiskey

The Battle of the Midwest Directionals

King Hippo

LSU has the #NuAIDS again, so we might not even get that 6p Bama train running.

Spur

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King Hippo

That would have been quite the moment, go 11-for-11 passing, into the locker room down to the 2020 Jest.

Spur

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King Hippo

Smokin’ Jay and his British rental car

Spur

Wankers: You’re on the wrong side of the ride!
Jay: DONT CARE!

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Brocky
Brocky

I’m willing to bet good money that some New Englanders legitimately think that Brady will return to New england once covid is gone.

Doktor Zymm

They should probably invest in some MRSA for the Patriot’s facility, just to seal the deal

Viva La Tabula Raza

Also, Trump is going to win his bid for the presidency in 2024.

King Hippo

indeed, he’s totes not just doing the GOP Greivance Grifting Tour on steroids…

LemonJello

THESE JETS, I CALL A-10 WARTHOGS BECAUSE THEY’RE TANK KILLERS.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvIJvPj_pjE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, i really wanted to see Deion Sanders in ads again!
–Nobody

clint greasewood

Cam’s body language looks like he doesn’t want to be there.

Spur

Cam got hit so hard he’s gonna have trouble putting on matching clothes.

Unsurprised

So much for the P*ts QB force field