2020 Quotables – Week 11 (Submissions)

Happy short week from all of us here at Quotables. Checked out for next 6.5 hours of work? Well, have we got a time waster for you! Take a submission and copy it to the comments below with your favorite caption. Then visit on back to [DFO] on Friday for results! It’s no facing the 0-10 Jets but, still, is good no?

No?

No? Look….


Alright then! Please find below your Week 11 Quotables submissions.


This angle is good because you can watch the involuntary spasms as each CL progressively snaps.

Coach Duchess: “Don’t try to arm tackle these guys,,,,”

Y’all don’t need a primer for this one.

“Oh it can stand up? Damn showoff water bottle…” -J Burrow

Only northeast-based Bird I care about is the one who murdered state witness William Gant.

When life imitates art….

“Six feet!”

[JV] TURNOVER CHAINSAW ACTION!
 

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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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LemonJello

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“Mini tractores quaeso parum de potentia increpem te!”

LemonJello

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“Guys…GUYS!! Who left their bottle of clean urine out here on the field?”

LemonJello

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“THAT’S NOT HOW YOU PREP A SHOULDER ROAST!”
-Scotchnaut and Yeah Right, in unison

LemonJello

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Thursday night uniforms and football on a Monday? Fuck you 2020, I’m out!

Game Time Decision

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The bottle is better at blocking than his o line

Duchess

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”And this kids is how KC Masterpiece BBQ sauce is made”

Duchess

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”Excuse me, sir, would you like to donate to the Human Fu….”

Duchess

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Curtis Samuel wowed the judges with his Touchdown Dance entitled ”JFK vs Dallas”

Duchess

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Usually when a kid tackles like this it means his mom will soon be single next year coming to games wearing yoga pants and bringing all the kids Smart Water for half time.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Um, is that the dancing bear at left?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Still not the worst of his stupid fucking commercials

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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“Yeah but where’s the hooker?” – Ryan Fitzpatrick Bateman

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Oh yeah? Mine’s deadlier.

–Brian Kelly, gesturing at a scissor lift

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Coach, i know how to turn a dry rub into a wet rub

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Damn!

SonOfSpam

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Beavers should be all about ax wounds not chainsaws.

SonOfSpam

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6 points for the touchdown and 5 more for the Bironas tribute.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Another touchdown due to Tom Brady’s greatness

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“You can see how badly Mike Evans wanted to get that touchdown for his quarterback.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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“Wow, those guys really know how to use their hands!”

–Robert Kraft, shifting in his seat

SonOfSpam

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Seeing a bird get blasted that hard in the face by a Chubb reminds me of Sophie Dee.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Stephanie Swift for me, but a rock solid comment either way

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Is he playing a videogame, bobsledding, or having a seizure?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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When did Carson Wentz start playing defense?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Kimo von Oelhoffen is impressed by the FedEx Turf

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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[is triggered] – former Jacksonville punter Chris Hanson

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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“Want to see my ‘guy trying to tackle Derrick Henry’ impression?” – #95

Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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“That kind of weaksauce handshake will never fly here. I’m sorry, but we have *standards* here at Fort Stupendous…” – Elisha, peering out from between the couch cushions

Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Redshirt

ezgif.com-gif-maker-26-3.gif (500×281) (doorfliesopen.com)

“Listen. Do you hear? That is the Sound of Ultimate Suffering. My heart made that sound when the six-fingered man slaughtered my father. Cincinnati sports fans make it now...yet again.” – I. Montoya, Florin

Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
Game Time Decision

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rusty chainsaw > running chainsaw*

For insults only

Game Time Decision

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…And you shake it all about
You do the hokey pokey
And you turn yourself around
That’s what it’s all about

You put your whole self in….

Downfield Matriculator

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We’ve secretly replaced the Rams’ secondary with canisters of Folger’s Crystals wearing football pads. . . let’s see if anyone notices.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Aw, it’s sweet of Travis Kelce to pay tribute to Angela Merkel on the 15th anniversary of her becoming Chancellor of Germany.

/seriously, it literally was her 15th anniversary two days ago.

SonOfSpam

#neverforget
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Apparently #31’s strategy of yelling at Evans until he collapsed in a pile of shattered self-confidence didn’t work out.

Downfield Matriculator

Yeah, not as mean as the stuff Jonathan Allen apparently said to Burrow’s knee

Game Time Decision

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[vomits, curls up in pain holding knee]
You wanted me to comment about what now?

Last edited 3 years ago by Game Time Decision
ArmedandHammered

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C’mon Coach, let me eat at your house for Thanksgiving! I will even bring my own bbq ribs.

Downfield Matriculator

Hank Stram: Matriculate the Ball down the field!
Andy Reid: Manipulate my neck for a meal?

Gumbygirl

You get a plus one for working your own user name in!

Downfield Matriculator

Thx — A&H’s comment inspired me and sorry for not responding sooner. Guess that makes me a bit . . . umm . . . Pokey?

ArmedandHammered

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The power of Jim Brown compels you! Sit Down!

Last edited 3 years ago by ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

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No locked co-ed doors will stop me tonight!

Last edited 3 years ago by ArmedandHammered