What’s going on? Almost too much, right? Yesterday the news broke in wave after wave of infos. Patricia has been exiled to a Golden Corral upstate, a female kicker made history with a squibber, the Broncos lost all their qb’s and the Ravens are coviding to the tune of 20 (and still counting?) players. And I may have missed some other things but I haven’t checked the news. Has a nuclear device detonated somewhere? Are these the hallowed End Times or is just another day? Most likely the latter, I guess.
TO THE GAMES!
Raiders/Falcons:
This will most likely be the Brian Hill show because Gurley is out and Las Vegas can’t defend the run for crapola. I’ll say it-Julio is overrated. Yes, he’s gone off a few times (137, 137, 157) but his dud games (24, 32, 54, 39) outnumber them and he’s once again got a paltry (3) amount of TD’s to his name. He’s DeSean Jackson in a larger frame.
Chargers/Bills:
Young Bucks With Big Arms Meet For First Time reads my title and it sounds like a porno. Moving on… But it should be noted that both these fellas have fantastic numbers while under pressure because of their mobility which buys them time when the pocket shrinks or collapses altogether. No idea who is rb-ing for the Chargers-Ekeler is sorta back but may not get much action, Ballage is banged up, Kelley is in the doghouse so Troymaine Pope?
Giants/Bengals:
Since he’s returned wr Shepard leads the team in targets, catches and red zone looks-it’ll be a long day for covering cb Leshaun Sims. When brand new Cincy qb Brandon Allen (Hippo shakes tiny fist because not Ryan Finley) drops back to pass his first look should go to Tyler Boyd and not Higgins because the former will be covered by badly-struggling rook cb Darnay Holmes. Wows, Giants Wayne Gallman is fantasy’s RB7 over the last five weeks.
Titans/Colts:
Of course you start him but temper your expectations for rb Henry because the Colts shut down the run game better than pretty much anyone else. This looks like a spot where Mike Pittman might go off-his 223 air yards the last 2 weeks lead the team and the last time these two teams played Rivers went for 308. Corey Davis is finally delivering on his high draft spot-fantasy-wise he’s averaging 14 points per game.
Panthers/Vikes:
Teddy B would appear to be a great streaming option today-the Vikes pressure rate is dead last in the league and they’ve given up the most passing TD’s from a clean pocket. Every one of Bridgewater’s 6 spots have come from a clean pocket.
Cards/Pats:
The Hopkins/Gilmore matchup looks like a good one if the latter is available. He’s had a bit of success matching up with this wr in recent ‘entanglements’. Is this the spot where wr Kirk goes nuclear? The Pats are last in average yards per target and 2nd-last in deep pass percentage completed. Kirk leads his team in deep passes targeted with 13.
Fins/Jets:
You can add Denzel Mims to the long, long list of rook wr’s finally getting their feet under them. He’s seen 326 air yards and a 22% target share the last two weeks. The wet blanket in this scenario comes in the form of cb Xavien Howard. This should be a get-well tilt for Tua because the Jets secondary is dead last in overall coverage grades.
Browns/Jags:
The Giraffe is under center in Jacktown so you might want to pump the brakes on Chark. With Luton under center 33% of looks to Chark were on deep passes. The last time Glennon played on a regular basis he threw deep 7% of the time. Cleveland has been the team most likely to run the ball over the last month. Not a surprise given the talent in their backfield. Jarvis Landry is still second on the team behind OBJ in fantasy points for wr’s despite the fact the latter played his last full game back in week 6.
Have at it, savages!
Jeez, Vikings. 47 seconds to go and they have to go 60 yards. Where oh where is the ball going to go?
“Umm, we feel we shouldn’t have to say this but, okay, don’t bother trying to arm tackle Derrick Henry.”
-NFL Memo sent out to all the teams left on the Titans sked
Please keep doing this. Henry FF owners everywhere
Vikings had 3 guys and still got burned
New Black Panthers LIFE!!
Denver shoulda worn throwback jersey s to the 1940s with no face guard
Are they made of horse skins, those jerseys?
“Neigh! Just wool.”
-J.Elway
Denver needed to bring back the Double wing formation.
A denver first down
No Folk Implosion
You sure? I’m still in full arse-clench, because after the 2 holding penalties in our red zone…. well, I did not take them easily
Also, for a laugh I put 10$ on Denver
Moneyline?
I’m not that drunk, mate … Took the spread @ +16.5 handicap in my preferred online betting place 😀
No Folk Implosion
“Really? Wait till they get a load of me.”
-Bob Dylan, Newport, 1965
I wonder how that will feel.
Haven’t seen a Beebe involved in such a screwup since Super Bowl 27
He sure did a good job descending into the inky depths, though, pre-Cousteau.
Cam got a Brady call.
Pretty soon they’ll start deflating footballs for him
The Patriot Way!
Arizona tried to kill Cam? That’s the refs’ job!
We need Blax to venture into Qardinals TalQ again tonight!
Holy cats, the passing line on Newton today. Can you IMAGINE the crowd reaction if there were only ppls allowed in Gilette?
“NAWT FAIHR! OW-AH QUAHTAHBACK SHOULD ALWAYS GEHT BAIL OUT CALLS! NO ONE DENIES THIS!”
/but with MOAR ape sounds/gesticulations
Like Trump’s presidency, the NE 1/5th-century of special treatment is over, methinks.
“HEY, HOUSE-O, CHECK OUT MY NEW PAHTS JEAR-SAY!”
“You like James White that much?”
“WHO THE FACK IS JAMES WHITE?”
“Just another Manic Sunday”
-Cincinnati Bangles
Is this franchise, eternally lame?
They’re going down to Liverpool to do nothing, all the days of their lives.
East Liverpool Ohio.
I, umm, really like that tune. Crap!
I do too, hope it isn’t ruined!
ah wish it was Draft Day! (whoa-ohhhh)
That’s my Lack of Funds Day (whoa-ohhhh)
-Cincy GM
Pick a guy who doesn’t run day!
Malcolm Butler do what Malcolm Butler do?
As far as possible, anyway
The Zane Diaries fails late (again)
The Noo Yawk FIRST PLACE FITBAW Gigantes!
[wipes sweat from brow]
Mrs Sharkbait just yelles and scared the shit out of baby shark on that fumble.
Its moments like these that make NFL family
Stone cold Lock
I don’t want to have a drink with that guy, even though he’s not real.
I like that Colt McCoy looks exactly like a guy named Colt McCoy
Yay! Draft Position!
Bengals legend Brandon Allen
Vodka League side could use another Younghoe tally
Folks are supposed to think of this when they think of the name of the Cincinnati NFL Team.
What their name makes think about:
spotted-tabby-bengal-cat.JPG (211×288) (bp.blogspot.com)
Sassy Ref has added grey facial hair to his repertoire.
Noticed that during First All Black officiating team thingie the other day. Beard makes him look thirty years older.
All I want to do when I wake up in the morning is complete a pass
Savanna, Savanna
Never thought an ecosystem like you would care for me, Savanna
All I want to do in the evening is avoid the pass rush
Savanna, Savanna
I didn’t know that you were looking for more than I could ever be!
Not quite three years ago when I played for the Bears, Savanna
Then I got released and I have to say,
Eat all the leaves, eat all the leaves, savanna, yeah.
-Mike Glennon
Holy FUCK, this is legendary
Weezer should remake this song too.
The Raiders do not appear to have internalized the lesson of Super Bowl LI.