While our comments section can get highly political at times, we here at DFO generally try not to do political posts. We’re here for football and other, lesser, sports, dick jokes, and soft-core porn. Politics, other than that it involves people getting fucked, does not fit that vibe. Today is, however, an exception, because Donald Trump, the 45th President of the United States, will, after 12:01 pm, be the Ex-President of the United States.
What can we say about Donald Trump as President? Well, very little if you wanted it to be read anywhere outside of dick joke and football blog. In a dick joke and football blog, however, we can say that he was truly an asshole, that he has done more damage to the institution that is the Presidency than was previously thought possible, that he was selfish, stupid, fat, a fucking piece of shit without a single redeeming value, a sexist, a racist, a person of incredibly poor taste in virtually all facets of life, a would-be tinpot dictator, a man so blinded by his own delusions and ignorance that 400,000 Americans are dead, (to date), because Donald could not bear to take the hard steps necessary to confront a pandemic, a serial liar, a xenophobe, a narcissist whose constant need for affirmation led to the appointments of truly terrible and/or incompetent people into positions of power and, in the end, he was what we always knew and he always feared he was, a loser.
There are, of course, up to 74 million voters who would disagree with this, and that’s fine, so long as they can manage to just not invade the Capitol because their special orange boy didn’t win. While this country has undoubtedly got some serious work ahead of it, I take some comfort in the fact that at least 81 million voters likely do agree with it. And there are no facts, alternative or otherwise, that make 74 more than 81.
I close with the thoughts of ‘Bloom County’s Milo Bloom, writing a biography of the infamous Senator Bedfellow: “Leaving a trail of slime wherever he went…” Donald J. Trump has left the building. Hopefully destined for prison, but that’s a post for another time, and probably place.
Let’s not make me do this again any time soon, America.
Yours in the comments.
Roy Blunt is wondering whether this is Queen Latifah.
He has never heard of Queen Latifah. He thinks this is Rosa Parks.
Rosa Parks? He thinks it’s Harriet Tubman.
I wonder if in a couple of generations, the US history books will go straight from 44 to 46, with just a small note that “shit was too NSFS / outright retarded for this book” .. that’s especially valid, given that Biden will be doing one giant system restore, to the last known “good” configuration (aka January 2017) 😀
With a disclaimer that “yes, ‘retarded’ is considered an outdated and pejorative term, but there’s really no better word to use, with all apologies to our chromosomally-challenged brothers and sisters and brosisthers.”
By retarded, I mean “retard” in terms of progress, not in terms of “developmentally challenged” . Hell, on the environmental side of things, the soon to be imprisoned one not only delayed important policies, he outright reverted them.
I really worded it poorly though, I was initially thinking “irrelevant”, but given the amount of deaths those caused AND will cause, it definitely doesn’t merit that one. I’m open
Regressive, mayhaps?
Oh, I wasn’t taking a shot at you. I still haven’t scrubbed that word from my own vocabulary, personally.
Oh, I didn’t take it as such, more like as a friendly suggestion and there’s nothing really wrong with that and I’d rather provide additional context to avoid misunderstandings than risk insulting someone just because of ambiguity of the things said. For what it’s worth, for me the intention behind a word’s usage is more damning than the word itself, which may be a cultural thing between the US and our side of the world, because I’ve noticed that unlike here, people directly go for banning a word from usage than acknowledging that life and language is never so simple
Another example- the C-word used between male friends? Nothing wrong with that. Same word used to refer to a woman, even if it’s not malicious – No.
How about Disgusting?
Courtesy of the Dr. Mrs.:
“The following speaker is brought to you by McDonald’s.”
Yeah, this is making me grimace.
“Makes me want to fry a guy.” – conservatives on the Supreme Court circa these last two weeks
Pro-Life party.
Motherfucker actually got me singing along.
(the prosecco has been FLOWING apparently)
So… did anyone check if Mexico’s check for the wall is in the mail?
Postdated two-party check.
I saw on Twitter yesterday that Mexico IS willing to pay for a wall around Mar o Lardo.
What this ceremony needs now is a blind singer.
Stevie Wonder?
Too old school. We need a fresh new blind singing superstar.
The refs from the PaulsGame are moar relevant?
Fetty Wap is halfway there.
I’d watch Stevie, but he wouldn’t be able to watch me!
Coulda been better…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvwETUv7dSQ
“TRUMP WON IN A LAHNDSLIDE! NO ONE DENIES THIS!”
Why do people forget Massholia (and most of New England) are actually blue states?
There’s plenty of “red voters” in blue states, and vice versa.
Trump got 32.3% of the vote in MA. You think Tawmy wouldn’t be one of them?
Sure, perhaps. I’m just being amused that Pennsylvania voted for the Turnip, yet us poor (even honorary like me) massholes are the go-to butt of the raycess jokes… And that after us suffering the plight of two whole years without a Superb Owl win?! NAHWT FAIHHHHHHHHH
Pennsylvania went for Biden.
I’m surprised in the a capella version.
Something to remember is that even people like Kevin McCarthy and Mitch McConnell chose to go to CHURCH instead of seeing that shithead loser ex-president off.
Garth Brooks? Aaaaaand mute.
All I need for my day to be complete is for four or five hundred Q-tards to blow their fucking brains out.
I mean, that’s every day.
Anatomically impossible.
It’s a pretty small target for them, though.
That’s why they could use grenades, you don’t need to aim, when you can let splash damage do its thing!
OMG HE EVEN GOT CHRIS GAINES!
“Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Garth Brooks to torpedo his career.”
At this point, he’s living off Trisha Yearwood’s cooking show money.
Looking at him I’m not sure why “show money” was included in this sentence.
Girth Brooks?
Are those guys by the pool are militia or National Guard?
Second question, is there a difference?
Guards and yes.
If it was militia, there’d be inaccurate shooting (the only thing less accurate than a middleaged militia-bro is a …well, the average cop) aimed at the podiums
Also, the NG have nowhere near as useless tacticool gear to parade around in
Today is a good day.
Countdown to PR statehood begins NOW.
Yeah, sorry Don, I believe you’re an independence guy, but I’m aching for those 3 electoral votes to set off one of those goddamn Dakotas. As you know, it’s for…
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Screw it, add DC too and neutralize Wyoming.
Or trade both Dakotas to Canada for the right to the Montreal Alouettes and use DC and PR to set off Wyoming and Montana.
Hell, let’s just take Quebec. Rest of Canada ain’t care.
OK, but Colorado will have to give back the Nordiques to smooth our takeover.
In return I am prepared to order the New Jersey Devils to resume their past as the Colorado Rockies.
If he starts to sing, I’m heading back to the Republicans!
…. but what if its the smile smile smile song?
Alright Joe, time to get to work.
Do it for Zombie tWBS!
huh, the president of the “anti-Christian” party just said a prayer.
But your religious beliefs must not be sincere if you don’t use your political power to impose them on other people!
“Also, you’re not a real Catholic if you’re pro-choice. You can, however, be a real Catholic if you allow the government to execute a whole bunch of people.” — Half the Supreme Court
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roRQ2mNwMMQ
yeah, don’t show the armed guards
Herr Orange has been stripped of the launch codes.
/starts day-drinking
Listen carefully… it’s almost as if a thousand DA staff cried out in horror at the amount of indictments they’re about to file in unison, before solemly hitting the print button!
Drinking a prosecco-blood orange mimosa. Tastes like Morning in America.
I didn’t plan well and am “working” but I’ll be drunk in spirit.
… just pay RTD or the rest of the DFOers for sobriety offsets
Biden has a long reputation for making speeches that just never end . . .
but remember, his stutter means he’s got dementia!
“That’s my kind of President!”
W.H. Harrison, 1840
Today he can speak as long as he wants, and throw in some Molly Hatchet lyrics for all I care.
Meanwhile the audience is frozen solid
Pretty fucking cool that markets are hitting all-time highs on the day that Biden gets sworn in.
…and that’s why I invested in the Stock Market in Trump’s last year.
Senor’s Roth and life insurance funds had a good first year on the market.
just tuning in, was he sworn in yet?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmZYbyqLLZU
so yes, hand on bible (in the correct direction) occured?
kinda ticked i missed it
One hand on bible, other hand jerkin it. Like the Constitution says.
The little read and lesser understood Article 69.
Wait, I thought that one of the perks you get as a president is that you have someone else do that for ya?!
“I have just formed a 2024 exploratory committee” — Robert Kraft
That’s a low blow…. which quite coincidentally is a certain RK’s favourite search terms on /porn site/ . Also, I’m scared to ask, but … asian midget porn is a thing, right? Everything horrible online is?
Rule 34 would say undoubtedly so.
I volunteer RTD and Redshirt to form a sexsploratory committee and vigorously research the topic?
It’s 12:00. It’s finally over.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C47GV5xFkTg
Not sure if this gets more or less of a “DUDE” than the Shania Twain version.
Dude.
(for knowing there’s a Shania Twain version)
Also, where do ya reckon Trumpy would try to flee too when the various indictments starts comin’? I doubt Russia (after him screwing them over on Nord Stream 2 et al) will, the Saudis don’t do assylums for free and North Korea probably doesn’t do golf courses?
Israel, if Netanyahu wins. Otherwise, anywhere Putin-approved.
Does Putin care any more? Trump is useless to him now.
“New phone, who dis?”
That’s what I wrote, lol, but Hippo is a writer, not a reader :p
They only do golf courses if the Dear Leader can shoot an 18 on it.
HOW DARE YOU INSULT DEAREST FAT BAS.. Leader.. He shoots 18 holes in 1, not A hole in one… OFF TO THE AA execution go for you! 😀
The only thing I’m certain of is that it won’t be Mexico.
My money is on UAE or Bahrain.
They’re expensive and we all know (right?) that Trump’s nowhere near as rich as he claims. Now, the Phillipines ? That may be in the cards as long as he doesn’t annoy Duterte
I hate to rain on all you lads’ parade, but… “will this actually change shit in a substantial way”? After all, twitter rants aside, Trump hasn’t really been that off the baseline retarded US foreign policy ?
It’s way more than foreign policy, or policy of any type. It’s foundational, that we preserved our basic democracy.
Eh, frankly the us “democracy” is more of a … shared delusion than actual fact, after all, you guys get incumbency rates that’d make a banana republic blush, with 2 parties becoming increasingly disconnected from the populace leading to extremist elements being more likely to get enough of the Fuck you vote to have 2016 happen (or before that the Tea Party)
No, Trump has been way off US foreign policy. He’s torpedoed relationships with NATO, reneged on treaties we’ve entered into, and cozied up to dictators that we previously at least pretended to ignore.
And more to the point, at least for us, he was, (and his cultists still are), a fundamental threat to basic democracy.
Look, we’re not perfect, far fucking from it, and we have a lot of work to do, but goddammit let us enjoy today.
“cozied up to dictators that we previously at least pretended to ignore” … That was never a thing, only difference is that he dropped the pretense that the US actually cares about human rights, as long as you play ball
All the cool kids say this.
My wife just asked “What, did he die already?”
Nobody fucking breathe on him!
What about farting in his general direction?
Strong men also cry, Mr. Lebowski. Strong men. Also cry.
Ten minutes early, because it’s cold.
Shrinkage is perfectly normal!
And with that, Donald Trump becomes just a regular citizen of the US.
And more importantly, subject to criminal prosecution.
Next step – start freezing bank accounts and seizing his passport, because he’s a flight risk 😉
To me, it (him fleeing the country) would be a fair tradeoff to get his stink out of American airspce, never to return.
Yeah, I’m OK with him fleeing and leaving his followers grasping for explanations as to why their Fearless Leader is cowering in some foreign land.
I dunno why he left, we wud’ve helped him hide out here at Happy Blossom Estates, the finest 20 acre trailer park in SW Texas. We gots plenty of beans, guns, ammo and bibles to last till the end times!
OK, WHICH ONE OF YOU ASSHOLES BROUGHT THE BABY!?
Don’t sleep on the new POTUS’ middle name.
ROBINETTE.
Not a yuuuuuuggggge fan of Sen. Stapler Thrower, but she’s been a pretty good MC today.
I was really hoping J Lo would break into a spirited rendition of “Taco Flavored Kisses.”
For anyone who missed it, Officer Eugene Goodman was named as acting deputy sergeant-at-arms for this ceremony.
Was awesome watching his escort the new kids.
Joe has a nice view of JLo’s ass. Good to be the king!
I don’t recall ever watching this much of an inauguration, even Obama’s. Then again, I was usually not on lockdown, and at least pretending to work.
Yes, all of this. Took all of them for granted.
I will never take democracy for granted ever again.
J-Lo doing Woody Guthrie is a thing, I guess.
I still think it should have been “All You Fascists Bound to Lose,” but here we are.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwcKwGS7OSQ
And with that, Mike Pence is fired.
Not into the sun, but still good.
Well to get to the Sun he’d have to go near Venus, which is female, so there’s no way he’s doing that.
“Sounds like penis, we’re staying away from that”
We’ll take what we can get
Currently being sworn in: New Veep, who is a woman of color.
THIS IS GOOD.
Shouda been Julia-Louis Dreyfus, in character.
Shine on, you crazy Diamond Joe! You done a good.
Im not celebrating until Biden completes the Oath of Office, and the guy with the Nuclear Football runs away from Trump.
There’s literally a football in that case right now. And probably a Nerf football at that. There’s no way anyone let Trump wander off with the active codes.
A mini-Nerf, because tiny hands.
And not even a Vortex. And definitely not the whistling kind.
Needs more Enrico Palazzo: “bunch of bombs in the air”
If Lady Gaga sings the anthem in 4, straight to jail.
Sing it in 2, also jail.
OH FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK.
Fuck him and anyone who shrugged off an assault on democracy on 1/6.
And especially fuck the ones that encouraged it. Like him.
Big points for Roy Blunt if he closes with “and fuck Josh Hawley.”
Philip Rivers and Donald Trump retiring today is devastating to middle America
Their current fan bases do share a dedication to insane amounts of gravy.
Jesus is weeping. Guns and Ammo Jesus.
Good day 4 Hippie Jesus tho ,, ppl forget that
Nah, Gun Jesus(human name Ian from FW) hasn’t exactly been on Turnip’s side. Dunno about Ammo Jesus, Geardo Jesus and Militia Jesus, tho