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Your Fourth of July Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

/

,

Look, I’m going to keep it short & sweet since it’s not my day. As a Canadian, we just had our celebration, so I’m just going to stand back & watch the neighbours do their thing, hoping it doesn’t spill over into my yard.

So, here are some brief words from the President,

So celebrate as best you can,

   

   

spend some time with the family,

enjoy some fireworks,

 

and remind yourself you live in a democracy that’s worth fighting for.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • No game scheduled.
      • You’d think Bettman would want to shove it down our throats by having Tampa win on the 4th.
  • NBA:
    • No game tonight.
  • MLB:
    • Mets at Yankees – 7:00pm | ESPN / TSN3
    • Giants at D-backs – 9:00pm | Sportsnet
  • Futbol:
    • MLS:
      • FC Dallas vs. Whitecaps FC – 8:30pm | TSN
  • Rugby:
    • Toronto Arrows Rugby: Old Glory DC vs. Arrows – 6:00pm | TSN2

Enjoy your day, America.

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SonOfSpam

Also, this should be out national anthem. Fucking A this is a great song and I will hear no argument unless you wanna tell me it’s a better than great song, and in that case you are right and I will apologize.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_tyWt_9Bfs&ab_channel=CraigBostick

3
SonOfSpam

Happy America Fuck Yeah Day everyone. Love y’all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5uPoDNEn3I0

Last edited 4 years ago by SonOfSpam
1
Dunstan

Happy Birthday, America, you sexy bitch!

/slaps America on the ass, HARD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPtD0ZcEYt8

2
Beerguyrob

Meanwhile, the former colonial masters decided on a David Brent celebration for the rebels.

https://twitter.com/UKinUSA/status/1411671136794923010

2
yeah right

Holy shit. Pedro. I’m still only in Pedro.

This town and their fucking fireworks.

I left the hose attached and plugged in for a goddamn reason.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Every time I think I’m gonna wake up back in Redondo…”

1
yeah right

Move out of the sticks, gentlemen.

Last edited 4 years ago by yeah right
1
Gumbygirl

Fuuuuuuck, that’s what I forgot to do.

0
yeah right

Goddamn do I love this town.

There are crews broken down by 15 minute intervals.

10 o’clock crew is getting after it.

0
Brocky

Be me

Bring a cooler to a party.

A six pack of PBR (cuz rednecks)

A six pack of Fat tire (cuz hipsters)

And 24 bottles of water

Late at night, grab cooler to head home

3 Pbrs left, 3 fat tires left, zero waters left.

God bless america

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herodotus450

There’ve been like 7 presidents who’ve died on July 4th (supposedly).
/looks awkwardly at the rope in Don T.’s closet

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Redshirt

Knowing our luck, he fail at that too.

1
Beerguyrob

“I don’t think he knows what to do with it.”
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King Hippo

They should do a new one of them “ranking the Presidents” lists, but this time – do it by penis size.

I bet John Adams must have had a real hog. He was certainly outkicking his coverage with Abigail.

0
Redshirt

Thank you, Hippo. Now I’m hypothesizing about the sizes of all the Air Force Ones.

1
King Hippo

ah live 2 serve

0
herodotus450

LBJ is #1 of course, we have the telephone transcripts.

1
herodotus450

Also, assuming the Patriot Act has been repealed, this joke: erect or flaccid? It might make a difference for FDR.

0
Brick Meathook

It’s only 6:15 PM here in Los Angeles but the explosives are going off already. The sound is quite impressive. I’ve always wondered if this was what World War II or Gettysburg sounded like.

2
Redshirt

If you can see the fireworks, Gettysburg. If you are in the fireworks, WW2.

0
Dunstan

Thank you (and me) for your (and my) service.

2
yeah right

Hopefully that’s as close as our old ass is gonna get.

0
herodotus450

ppl also forget that the British enacted a ban on ponytails being worn by busty brunettes, in the so-called “Ponytail Act” of 1771. For shame, Brits, for shame.

1
scotchnaut

Watching one of those old NFL games and was reminded that Elway could throw the ball 30 yards downfield with just the flick of his wrist towards the end of his career. Jeebus!

1
King Hippo

Dunno if we will ever see an arm like that again. If Dan Reeves hadn’t wasted so many years of his career trying to make him a game manager…just ugh.

1
litre_cola

Hippo awake past 9:30 on a non NFL night?

3
King Hippo

cat talked me into a nap

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Redshirt

When I am elected Evil Overlord of the World, anyone who identifies as a “influencer” will be banished to their own deserted island so they can influence no one.

3
litre_cola

If this island can grow grapes and can watch, gamble on futbol please for the love of god pick me.

2
Redshirt

Emperor Redshirt: “You sent them to a wine-making island with a working satellite TV and a gambling terminal? Why stop there? Could you not find one with a beer tree and self-baconning pigs?!”

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This island is sounding better and better. Will the 2005 version of Scarlett Johanssen be there?

2
Redshirt

If she is, I just willed my Happy Place into existence. You may visit, just call ahead.

2
litre_cola

I am going to need a cow and I will jimmy rig something to make cheese. Apart from that making wine and cheese, and still gambling on futbol with no fuckwits about? Heaven.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d break out the human sized blender and turn them into “effluencers”.

2
Gumbygirl

They could finally be useful

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blaxabbath

Isn’t the name itself kinda a giveaway?

0
Beerguyrob

I’m hoping “The Wisconsin Ballad of Joliet Jake” is going to involve solving the mystery of Chuck Cunningham’s disappearance.

4
litre_cola

Guys, Bolsonaro ain’t going away quietly into the night. Does he think he is Putin?

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, it looks like he’s going to try and find out, anyway.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He’s one of the biggest loudmouths I’ve ever seen, so I’m not shocked. I wouldn’t expect to see him go quietly into a library.

2
Redshirt

“If an idiot like Trump can try it…”

1
Dunstan

Shit. I was assuming Game 4 of the Stanley Cup was tonight. Now I’m all liquored up with no sports to watch.

1
herodotus450

ppl forget the 16th amendant explicitly bans any “Games of Canadiaoun or British Extract” from occurring on July 4th.

2
litre_cola

There goes BC Dick’s cross border badminton tourney.

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

Also know as “shuttlecock”. Huh huh.

1
BC Dick

Consarn it.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Turns out the party with the band is three houses down. One thing I will say about these guys – when they throw parties, they don’t half-ass it.

1
scotchnaut

“Don’t ya mean ‘Three Doors Down’? WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFq1eT9tMJ4&ab_channel=3DoorsDownVEVO

4
Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah. I suppose Extended Stay America probably has a pretty crappy bar.

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

I think I stayed in one of those places in N Wisconsin once. It was run and staffed by Mennonites or some other similar weird cult.

1
herodotus450

These days in Wisconsin it’s probably the GOP.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fuck. My neighbors, who are normally very good neighbors, appear to have hired a band today.

0
scotchnaut

“I hope the Green Day cover band I sent to you gives you the time of your life.”

-tWBS

6
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No, it’s significantly more, uh, Mexican than that.

Como se dice “I hope you had the time of your life” en español?

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

Embrace the accordion and trumpet.

1
Redshirt

¿Si me voy de aquí mañana, todavía me recordarías?

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Maybe the song titles from American Idiot are easier.

Idiota Americano
Jesús de Suburbia
Vacaciones
Camino de Sueños Rotos…

1
scotchnaut

You are the very best candidate your new employer could find. Keep that in mind and do what you do. It’ll be fine.

3
Redshirt

I’m with ya. My first day at new job is Tuesday. I’m also nervous.

2
scotchnaut

If your boss asks you to beam down to another planet? Yeah, you may want to take a sick day.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

4
ballsofsteelandfury

Well, she IS leaving in a few months, so…

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh good, so she’s safe until ONE DAY before that few months is over.

0
Redshirt

Its okay. I heard she bought a boat.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Feel free to vent with us. You’ll be good.

0
Redshirt

So if Trump is Bowser, does that make Biden Wart?

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“IT’S-A-ME, MARIO CUOMO!”

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