Everybody loves scoring: players, gamblers, singles, spouses, addicts, etc. NFL fans are no different. Every football fan wants to root for an offense that feasts on opponents as ravenously as the Taliban over U.S. military equipment. Point is: the Titans deserve more prime time games because

Since 2019, the Titans lead the NFL in these offensive categories:

• Touchdowns (110)
• Plays of 50+ yards (23)
• Red Zone TD Percentage (75.2%)
• Rushing Touchdowns (47)

Tennessee's offense has been BOOMING. pic.twitter.com/DhSBwFDCVC

— NFL on CBS 🏈 (@NFLonCBS) June 2, 2021

But TVs continue to show Jets and Jints and Bears and Team and others that underperform in prime time–while TEN’s offense been a prettay, prettay good watch. But there is a pecking order in the AFC: Chefs, an empty step, and the Bills and some AFC North grit salad (now only 25% ballast!). And, OK. The Titans defense last year was, oh… I don’t wanna be too hard, so let’s say “aspirational”, as the D sucked as a black hole would a Mini Cooper.

You know all the stories about the Bengals’ shower curtain of an offensive line getting Joe Burrow killT? Ha. “Four New O-linemen vs. Titans”, said a 11/1/20 headline (the left and right tackles were making their first NFL start). Well, those fellas pitched a shutout against TEN’s D. Burrow had a career day against Tennessee and then he lasted two more games. Note that this ain’t just caveman logic to show how the 2020 TEN D was bend-break-dissolve; these are Burrow’s numbers:

Via pro-football-reference.com

TEN went to Cleveland weeks later and got pulverized: 38-7 at halftime. And then the Titans got eliminated in the Wild Card round by the Ravens 20-13—which I Googled to check if it was as lopsided as I remember. I hereby confirm; Titans led 10-0 in the first quarter, then Lamar Jackson got mad.

TEN’s top two CBs in 2020 are gone: Adoree’ Jackson and Malcolm Butler, respectively to the Giants and Wikipedia. Butler’s situation is strange, because 2020 was his best season in TEN. Butler is neither tall nor fast, but he’s handsier than Helen Keller reading “Madame Ovary”. But he doesn’t get flagged, which is a skill. Butler, 31, is unsigned and mulling retirement. He was objectively overpaid, not that I care: his intel for ending the Brady/Pats dynasty in Jan, ’20 was worth it.

NEVAR FORGET!1!1!

Back to the traumatic: TEN had 19 sacks in all of 2020 (30th place), and the third down defense was ineffective to the point of hospitality. There was good talent and the very best return in 2021: All-World DT Jeffery Simmons, LBs Jayon Brown and Harold Landry III, and FS Kevin Byard–who had his worst season in 2020, but he good. There’s some revamping. Promoted to starter are: 2nd year NT Teair Tart (replacing DaQuan Jones is tough job), 4th Rd. pick (‘19) SS Amani Hooker (acceptable), former top pick LB Rashaan Evans (hit and miss miss miss and hit), and CB Kristian Fulton (serviceable).

[puts away “rebranding Christ as Krist” for development / addled ramblings]

Newcomers: D-lineman Denico Autry was picked up from the Clots; OLB Bud Dupree from the Steelers (the ideal substitute to the 2020 husk called Jadeveon Clowney), and rookie Elijah Molden–a preseason standout as a slot corner. The rest of TEN’s rookie class:

The #Titans 2021 Draft Class:

Rd 1(22): Caleb Farley, CB
Rd 2(53): Dillon Radunz, OT
Rd 3(92): Monty Rice, LB
Rd 3(100): Elijah Molden, DB
Rd 4(109): Dez Fitzpatrick, WR
Rd 5(135): Rashad Weaver, DL
Rd 6(205): Racey McMath, WR
Rd 6(215): Brady Breeze, S

What grade do they get?

— TicTacTitans (@TicTacTitans) May 1, 2021

Incomplete! Pft. I read that 1st rounder CB Farley opted out in 2020 and had a herniated disc operation six months ago. This is what is called “a project”, but I find endearing that the prospect has Old Guy Back.

On special teams, punter Brett Kern

Gimme a break, the guy is excellence personified! They call him The Weapon. As of posting, it’s apt.

UPDATE: *wind whistles ‘Weaaapoooon’ *

The kicker is Sam Ficken, formerly of the Jets. You should draft him for fantasy

And then there’s the offense. Uy. Lemme turn on the ceiling fan here.

The left side of the offensive line is T Taylor Lewan (returning from ACL), and G Rodger Saffold.

Center is Ben Jones, RG Nate Davis, and at RT are three guys Titans fans classify as grinders / folk heroes / cautionary tales–lumped together in the depth chart.

Meanwhile, RT Jack Conklin, a Titans 5th-year option casualty last year, is thriving on the Browns. Tch. Sigh.

Julio Jones is the new arrival. He’s seldom practiced, much less with Tannehill. Then again, studs not practicing and taking over games has been a mark of all good Titan teams since 1999.

Yeah, optimism is all I got, and am pretty psyched about Julio.

A. J. Brown is a top receiver who plays like he’s avenging a death. After the 2020 season, Brown had surgeries in both knees. I say that to highlight toughness, not that I see Brown underperforming in 2021. Furthermore,

A.J. Brown: 33 missed tackles forced on RECs since 2019

Most in the NFL ⚔️ 💪 pic.twitter.com/eVlWQ8QDXy

— PFF (@PFF) April 11, 2021

I see the future: Brown will be a Perennial Questionable in the injury report because HC Mike Vrabel will be a total dick about that.

Now that I mention Vrabel, just two more things. One, the players love Vrabel, and the media is warm to this Sith alumnus. Two, after much soul searching, this is how much I trust Vrabel as a coach:

As you can gather, my opinion of Vrabel has improved markedly.

Let’s talk about Ryan Tannehill, godsend:

Ryan Tannehill ranks No. 1 in the #NFL in…
– 4th quarter comebacks (4)
– Game-winning drives (5)
– % of drives ending in an offensive TO (4.4)

He's top 5 in…
– Passing TDs – 26 (5th)
– TD% (4th)
– INT% (5th)
– Adjusted YPA (4th)
– Yds gained per pass completion (3rd) #Titans

— Emily Proud (@emily_proud) December 7, 2020

He’s a good rusher, too—and gotta say: the dude plays with bravery. That’s very much like all good Titans QBs, but Tannehill has been a much better passer. In fact, Tannehill may break Warren Moon’s season passing records from The Oiler Times.

🚧🚨OBVIOUS CRAP ALERT 🚨🚧

17 games, 17 games. All season records will be blown to bits eventually. I don’t expect to mind, at all.

Point is: guy’s foar reelz. The days of Tanny Fanny being tormented by the Dolphins’ practice squad D, are loooong gone. Caveat: the transformation has been under OC Arthur Smith, now the Falcons head coach—which stokes all them “return to the mean” wags. Arthur Smith is great (he is), but keep in mind that Tannehill’s success comes after his immune system eradicated the Adam Gase antigen. Plus Tannehill’s a Leo, so

TEN’s backup QB is Logan Woodside, formerly of the AAF San Antonio Commanders and University of Toledo. The thought of a Tannehill injury inspires ponderous hopelessness.

Now I’m down. I need some Electroboom:

https://twitter.com/randy_mclovin74/status/1366857461240651778?s=20

Now that mirth has suffocated dread, let’s bask in the glory of El Tractorcito:

I mean is there really any other answer https://t.co/r2biCKLpF0 pic.twitter.com/p4Y4Hq7Rvj

— TicTacTitans (@TicTacTitans) April 22, 2021

I can do this all day.

Turning Earl Thomas into a blocker is thoroughly sweet. But enough porn.

Henry is 27 and this will be his sixth season. Given the average career of a NFL running back, you would expect Henry’s production to decline, as to workload or quality. I don’t think Henry is there yet because he hasn’t had that many carries.

For his first two seasons, Henry was RB2 to DeMarco Murray (Henry had less than 200 attempts each season), and then was not used much after Murray retired. In 2018, Dion Lewis got waaay too many snaps and there was talk of TEN trading Henry. The story goes that he had a heart to heart with Eddie George, and Henry went full Tractorcito that December. Ever since, Henry built a throne:

Via @Titans

Fun Anecdotal Evidence! An athlete works out like this, I don’t expect him to decline.

This Derrick Henry workout 😳

(via @KingHenry_2) pic.twitter.com/TRKL9A0iIt

— NFL on ESPN (@ESPNNFL) March 26, 2021

The knock on Henry is that he is a two-down back, not useful catching passes, and is a lesser fantasy option than McCaffrey, Kamara, Chubb and others. Meh. Stuff like that tests the adult mantra of “I don’t care what anybody thinks”, because Henry gets the stats AND doesn’t falter late in the season or in the 4^th QRT of games. And he scares opponents, the loveliest sight to watch most fall Sundays at 12 Central.

tl; dr flex the Tits.

Predicción: Everyone thinks the AFC South is the worst division, the kind of consensus that is sometimes upended by actual events. Not in this case. Yeesh; AFC South has uglier stock than the Star Wars bar. 12-5, Titans make the AFC Championship.