They Say It’s Tax Day – Monday Open Thread

Yes, it’s filing time in the USA, though not in Puerto Rico. Last week’s blackout made the PR deadline move to next Monday. That’s fair. You roll with the punches. But it also reminded me of a brilliant boss I had.

That boss used to say that a democratic government could not be too strict in the collection of taxes, lest folks get agitated and start demanding effective police, education, social services, etc. Treasury officials could tolerate folks pocketing taxable income, and therefore keep economic activity in the streets, as long as they pay something to keep public services going. It’s a silent pact, between government and the public, with the government benefitting from inaction.

Sufficed to say that boss and I spent a lot of time talking about shit like that during working hours. At the expense of our employer #Obvio

NFL NEWS

-Per everyone since this morning: Deebo Samuels, AJ Brown and Terry McLaurin are skipping voluntary workouts and each one of the really really amazing receivers is entering the 4^th and last year of their rookie contract.

• Personal note: I’ll care when the NFLPA caves as to the meaning of “voluntary”.

-The Clots signed CB Stephon Gilmore.

-The Pauls make Denzel Ward the highest paid CB. Oh Cleveland,

-CB Malcolm Butler, 32, signs with New England for “two” years. The last time Butler played for the Pats, he was benched in the Philly Special Owl. Then the Titans overpaid for Butler and he had two seasons that covered the Terrible – Serviceable gamut. At his best for TEN, Butler was grabby and unflagged like a vintage Harvey Weinstein.

I like Butler. He became famous as a rookie, intercepting Russ Wilson in the 4^th quarter in the endzone in the SEA – NE Owl. What made it more impressive, to me, was that Butler made the interception after Wilson picked on him several times in that drive, completing amazing passes that Butler could not have covered better. Butler stayed focused and denied Marshawn Lynch a second ring.

My only regret if Butler were to make the 2022 NE roster or practice squad: we would have to wait a couple of more years to find out why Butler was benched for the Philly Owl. I mean, foot talk kept Wes Welkah out of the opening series only in that playoff loss against the Jets in 2011! What the hell did Butler do?

-On June 1^st, TNT will broadcast “The Match”, a golf game between Tom Brady and Qaron against Josh Allen and Patrick Mahomes. Allegedly, there has been smack talk–click on the link and slide into a frosty whirl of banality!

This event irks me, mostly because of the Old vs. New pairing. It’s the laziest of all possible narratives, rendering this non-competition as public relations at its purest. But within the disgust at myself for continuing to care, lemme kidnap some brain cells to declare: a better team would’ve been Brady & Allen (“Tormentor becomes MENTOR! *lightning, thunder; smoke machine goes off*”). However, the sponsor is Capital One, so Team State Farm was never gonna happen. The remaining pairing is my favorite: Brady & Mahomes are a coupla tidy Mr. Perfects just asking to be taken down by crackpot Rodgers and suggestible troglodyte Allen. No disrespect to Josh Allen and to crackpots; you’re both awesome

I could have more of Bert and / or Ernie every day.

I think this edible just hit, so please: no factorial crap if there are more than three possible pairings.

SPROTS TONITE

All times central.

NBA PLAYOFFS

Tirana @ Philly (Sixers lead 1-0) – 6:30

Utah @ Dallas (Jazz leads 1-0) – 7:30

Denver @ Golden State (Warios lead 1-0) – 9:00

NHL

Flames @ Blackhawks – 7:00

Capitals @ Avalanche – 8:00

[INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK] @ Coyotes – 9:00

Devils @ Capitalist Knights – 9:00

Senators @ Karens – 9:00

Stars @ Canucks – 9:30

MAJOR LEAGUE LOITERING

Gigantes (Cobb) @ Mets (Megill) – 6:10

Piratas (Thompson) @ Cerveceros (Lauer) – 6:40

Mantas (McClanahan) @ Ositos (Hendricks) – 6:40

Angelinos (Lorenzen) @ Fokin Astros (García) – 7:10

Filis (Nola) @ Balboas (Kuhl) – 7:40

Orioles (Watkins) @ A’s (Montas) – 8:40

Rojos (Ladolo) @ Padres (Manaea) – 8:40

Bravos (Ynoa) @ Doyers (Kershaw) – 9:10

TOP FLIGHT FÚTBOL

Completists and enthusiasts of Argentina’s primordial fútbol soup can click here. Otherwise,

Chile

Unión La Calera hosts O’Higgins – 7:30

Colombia

Patriotas hosts Envigado – 7:40

Paraguay

Sol de América hosts Tacuary – 7:15

FINALLY

Unless you’re Donald Trump, having The Man all over your hair over taxes is degrading and an aggravation that, you know, is avoidable. It’s best to keep in mind that there’s a difference between hiding income and not paying on time. The first is fraud; the second is trying to have a fucking life with just enough creature comforts because goddamit social mobility ain’t easy! It’s stressing, but whenever I feel despair, scripture helps:

No person shall be imprisoned for debts. 

That’s Article II, Section 11 of the Puerto Rico Constitution.

Keep it chill and be happy we don’t live in confiscatory Britain!

Banner is from “Lincoln”, gifs via giphy.com