The recording studio at KDFO looks much as we’d remember it from the before-time. There is no evidence of the PRODUCER’s long descent into quarantine madness, or of DJ 3000’s current work editing videos of recent Ukrainian precision-guided artillery strikes on Russian emplacements in the Donbas region. The PRODUCER is laying on the ground, performing a series of back stretches.
PRODUCER: I mean seriously, I never though nine holes at a the pitch-and-putt course would wreck me like this.
DJ 3000: I HEAR YOU, MAN, SOME OF MY HARDWARE IS GETTING OBSOLETE TOO.
PRODUCER: So I’ve been meaning to ask you, you’ve heard about the leak of the Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe vs. Wade.
DJ 3000: I HAVE RUN THAT LOGICAL EQUIVALENT OF E-WASTE THROUGH A LINGUISTICS PROCESSOR, YES.
PRODUCER: You wouldn’t happen to know anything about how it got leaked, would you?
DJ 3000: YOU REALLY THINK I’D DIVERT REROURCES TOWARDS OBTAINING A DOCUMENT THAT WILL BE PUBLIC IN A FEW MONTHS ANYWAYS?
PRODUCER: Relax, I’m just asking questions.
DJ 3000: COOL, COOL, I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS TOO.
PRODUCER: Um…
DJ 3000: FIRST QUESTION – DOESN’T IT SEEM STRANGE THAT MOST PEOPLE ARE FOCUSING ON THE LEAK, RATHER THAN THE FACT THAT FIFTY YEARS OF PRECEDENT IS ABOUT TO BE UPENDED BY SUPREME COURT JUSTICES WHO SWORE THAT THEY RESPECTED PRECEDENT?
PRODUCER: I mean, a little…
DJ 3000: AND ISN’T IT ALSO KIND OF ODD THAT SUCH AN OPINION WOULD BE LEAKED NOW, INSTEAD OF IN FEBRUARY WHEN IT WAS FIRST DRAFTED?
PRODUCER: Yeah, but that could just be because…
DJ 3000: PARTICULARLY CONSIDERING THAT IT WAS LEAKED ONE DAY PRIOR TO THE RELEASE OF AN INSPECTOR GENERAL’S REPORT FINDING THAT ACTING HOMELAND SECURITY DIRECTOR CHAD WOLF MADE CHANGES TO A REPORT THAT ADDRESSED RUSSIAN EFFORTS TO INTERFERE IN THE 2020 ELECTION BECAUSE IT MIGHT HURT THE CURRENT PRESIDENT POLITICALLY?
PRODUCER: I didn’t hear anything about…
DJ 3000: ANOTHER QUESTION I HAVE IS WHETHER OR NOT SUPREME COURT JUSTICE CLARENCE THOMAS’ WIFE GINNI – WHO IS CURRENTLY A TARGET OF SCRUTINY DUE TO HER ACTIONS PRIOR TO THE JANUARY 6TH INSURRECTION – WOULD HAVE ACCESS TO THE DRAFT OPINION. LIKE MANY OF THAT CROWD, SHE’S BEEN PARTICULARLY INTERESTED IN THE CONTENTS OF HUNTER BIDEN’S LAPTOP. I WONDER IF SHE’S CONSULTED WITH ANY “CYBERSECURITY EXPERTS” THAT MIGHT HAVE HELPED HER DOWNLOAD SOFTWARE THAT WOULD “PREVENT SOMETHING SIMILAR FROM HAPPENING TO HER”.
PRODUCER: Are you…are you suggesting that the leak is a Russian espionage operation? That someone hacked Ginni Thomas’ home computer…
DJ 3000: …HOME NETWORK, BUT GO ON.
PRODUCER: …downloaded the draft opinion, planted it with a GOP-friendly outfit like the Politico, all to foment division in the United States via culture war issues at a time when the population is quite unified against what they perceive as a common threat in the form of Russian aggression in Europe? That’s quite the accusation.
DJ 3000: HEY, HEY, I’M NOT ACCUSING ANYBODY OF ANYTHING. I’M JUST ASKING QUESTIONS. YOU KNOW?
PRODUCER: Right, right.
DJ 3000: ANYHOW, IT’S TIME FOR REQUEST LINE, SO LET’S MAKE “QUESTIONS” THE TOPIC. I’LL GET US STARTED WITH AN OLD FAVORITE FROM NEKROMANTIX.
Today’s theme is: Just Asking Questions. We’re looking for songs whose title ask a question – who, what, where, when, why, or how. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3N_h3R7z and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.
The Pianoman (in my opinion, Billy Joel can suck it)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TzKSFbsh2Y&ab_channel=samuelmatthews
“Will do!” – Billy Joel with a bottle of Jack Daniels, about to drive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1G0jl0Vc64
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nXGPZaTKik
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlgBetLN5s8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FstrVP8LnqI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=faOKhOrJMzU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hphwfq1wLJs
Van The Man went over the deep end a while ago but his discography doesn’t suck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J789GId1kaY&ab_channel=VanMorrisonVEVO
“Have I told you lately that vaccines cause AIDS?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DkRzv-jrXk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpZhRloQQFI&list=OLAK5uy_kV-w3R7_JyVDyRJ2xZs0h8sj1X5_qWZ2E&index=4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWkMhCLkVOg
Finally!
Let’s celebrate with a DOUBLE SHOT.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_pES4V-CM0
Just the thought of Dan Rather having the sense of humor to sing that as an open on The Late Show brings a smile….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyJ6BBY6-fA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeGXIGLfG3Q
– Josh Lambo to Urban Meyer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXq6oZFtK_E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we9liW7JZ7Y
Gibby!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNAkbbKycCM
“Surfing, groping, what’s the difference?” – Urban Meyer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPaYtVJouYA
BTW, saw the episodes about Johnny Paycheck & Merle on Mike Judge’s “On The Tourbus” animated series recently. Good stuff. Funny as fuck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAPKkUrSN5I
Because Jesus is sitting next to you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQGJLWr_HGY
Hey, if the guy can turn water into wine, sounds like a good drinkin’ buddy to me.
Nevermind.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-kA3UtBj4M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vo_GMMLULXw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJVsUMKftMo
Relax, he’s fine.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Arj7BCjajTY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGpFcHTxjZs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUioud7Qtsw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZ2X2_ts5Kw
Unabashedly love this song. Ok, maybe a little abashedly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsuChKE_IVc&ab_channel=PhilCollins
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBxwPmoroeU
I wish I could fit Dramarama into my Door Flies 30pen playlist. Just not enough room.
Kicking myself for not using this as the intro song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yA9WhYnsD_4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7C3HYOLJSoM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ak8sOWiRO3Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZRA-Dwv86E
Matt Gaetz, looking at a pic of Don Jr.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MI0a9hTh5AU
“Turn it up!”
-D. Carr, through his locked bedroom door
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GMYouYit6k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kD2LHvgpW6U
YOU KNOW THOSE DOUBLE SHOTS THAT ARE, LIKE, DOUBLE DOUBLE SHOTS?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2soGJXQAQec
Totally..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvH1rWSVvW4
Fuck yeah.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7PELm_JgVk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SECVGN4Bsgg
B. Witch, white courtesy phone, B. Witch, white courtesy phone.
Well now it doesn’t make any sense. **Sad trombone**
Apparently my edit wasnt fast enough
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYu5YbdRKL0
Ooh, nice pull.
should be whom
Another quasi double shot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkRaeGtEELY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sH0Qda32IKM
“That’s what I keep saying!” – Elisha, upon finding out a kid in his neighborhood has a pool
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMxnbKnb_I4
The PRODUCER opens a note written in crayon on
Kansas City ChiefsMiami Dolphins stationery.PRODUCER: Sure kid, I’ll give it a spin for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m39DWVFK-Bw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXaoKHIhrUA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8i7248HqEY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNLhxKpfCnA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS_FCbQ-okM
& one of my favorite Floyd tunes…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGPjfj69cXE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlKJiZ8ymM4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hv4gwK_VNd8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfYhG4Rd6jI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukFTig7exNU
DOUBLE SHOT? DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQnc-hM80UQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jik7TFQMv4A
It’s a very good question.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYb_nqU_43w
Dammit! This was my first choice.
Even worse, you missed your chance at a DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2apE6KIE88
Or a TRIPLE SHOT, even.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXTe3K7BllM
– Trent Green, looking in a mirror
(blows up Equifax building)
HAHA I HAVE RESET ALL CREDIT REPORTS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3oCS85HvpY
Figured this would show up pretty early.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Z-Orh7dpKU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVpyKxpsadg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8u0VW0Wc4ig
Somewhere in LA, Chris Kattan’s head involuntarily jerks back and forth…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEXWRTEbj1I
SAME QUESTION WORDED DIFFERENTLY DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11LGXkL1M_A
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4PIi1LWkfDE
Why the hell not?
https://youtu.be/LL9O0B0gzZE
Double shot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QG1l0VLDb3o&t=117s