Monday Morning Mock Draft: Fantastic Beasts & How To Draft Them

Today’s topic is brought to you courtesy of my dog. During our multi-mile hike through the local woods, (he brings me along as bait, using me to lure all the deer flies and mosquitos away from him), it occurred to me that having a fantastical pet would be pretty cool, and using that idea for a draft topic would mean I wouldn’t have to use up some of the ideas Scotty’s given me without first telling him ahead of time so he can have the first pick.

Next week though, Scotchy, next week.

As you may have guessed from that preamble we’re introducing fantastical pets. A couple of rules. First and most important they have to be fictitious. You can’t draft your first dog, although I would understand the urge. Second, and this is probably a very important rule for, (gestures vaguely at entire clubhouse), all of you, you can’t have sex with it. Don’t go drafting Jessica Rabbit and claiming you just have a thing for bunnies. Nobody’s buying that one.

(drafts Jessica Rabbit)

With the first pick in the draft I will take Ghost, the dire wolf from Game of Thrones. Loyal as can be, absolutely vicious when needed, might be telepathic, goes for walks by himself, (sometimes for multiple seasons at a time), and has a pair of fuzzy ears just begging to be scritched.

Go ahead Ed, let your cows wander into my yard again this summer. See what happens.

The rest of you are on the clock. Go get that imaginary furry, scaly, winged, whatever domestic companion you’ve always wanted!

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Senor Weaselo

Still on the board? Cerberus.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Still on the board? The Blair Witch

WCS

I’ve had to sit through the Frozen franchise enough time to know that Sven seems alright.
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Game Time Decision

Thanks for letting us knòooooooooooooow

/the song never bothered me anyway

SonOfSpam

Socceroos to the Cup!

(World Cup, not Stanley)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

5. I need something I can ride, so I’ll go traditional and take the horse Maximus from Tangled.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

He said you can’t fuck it!

Oh, ride?

scotchnaut

[sniffs, wipes away tears] I’m going to give that fella the forever home he deserves.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oT15Gd81xa8&ab_channel=DanielAlexanderHill

Game Time Decision

Immediately picks Lassie
-NFL Memes