Latest posts by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly (see all)
- Request Line: Do Your Job – August 17, 2018
- DFO Radio: Ain’t No Party Like A Boat Party Because A Boat Party Floats On – August 14, 2018
- The NFL Solves the Anthem “Problem” – August 8, 2018
INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
A pair of radio professionals are standing outside the recording booth sipping coffee, awaiting the arrival of the week’s guest host. The [DOOR FLIES OPEN] and a young couple enters the room.
PRODUCER: [moves over to greet them] Hey, what’s happening, Grimey?
BRENT GRIMES: [with a barely detectable measure of sarcasm, rolling his eyes ever so slightly] How nice to be greeted with such a familiar salutation.
PRODUCER: [oblivious] Welcome, welcome. [shakes BRENT’S hand]
FEMALE COMPANION: [menacingly at CONNOR] The fuck you lookin’ at, fuckstick? [makes sudden threatening motion]
PRODUCER: I’m so sorry, Mr. Grimes, we can’t allow your guest inside the studio.
FEMALE COMPANION: Guest? I ain’t no goddamned guest. I’m his fuckin’ wife!
PRODUCER: [abashed] Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorry, Mrs. Grimes. We’ve been a little gun-shy since Rex Grossman was here and did his whole “This week’s theme is rockets! Now it’s queens! Now it’s ROCKET QUEENS!” bait-and-switch bit with a woman he originally claimed was his “cousin from France”.
MIKO GRIMES: The fuck is this shit, anyways?
PRODUCER: It’s a, uh, radio show. You’ll be receiving calls from listeners, then playing the songs they request. According to a theme that you select.
MIKO GRIMES: [frowns angrily but says nothing]
PRODUCER: [to BRENT] So have you, uh, thought of a theme for the week?
BRENT GRIMES: As a matter of fact, I have. I thought this week’s theme might be “Gentlemen”. That is to say, songs that are about a particular “Mister” – Mister Postman, Mister Sandman, and so forth.
PRODUCER: [smiles] I like it!
MIKO GRIMES: But what about fe-males? You know, like that Tannehill bitch? The one who always insists on being called “Missus” Tannehill like she all fancy an’ shit but then runs around with a fuckin’ AK in her trunk…
BRENT GRIMES: Sweetcakes, I…
MIKO GRIMES: Yeah…let’s do that. I got just the thing to get us started. [moves to enter the studio – glares at CONNOR, who is standing between her and the door] GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY WAY. [she enters the studio and settles behind the desk] How the fuck’s all this shit work?
This week’s theme is songs that include Mr., Mrs., Miss, Ms…you get the idea. MIKO GRIMES will get us started with a song about a friend she made while locked up in a cell New Orleans.