The recording studio at KDFO looks much as we’d remember it from the before-time. There is no evidence of the PRODUCER’s long descent into quarantine madness, or of DJ 3000’s work combing through footage of the insurrection to find alternative angles of the reported altercation in the President’s SUV. The PRODUCER is seated in front of the sound console, looking somewhat defeated as he interacts with the week’s guest inside the sound booth.
PRODUCER: …and I’ve just got a few things to sort out on the audio side and we’ll go live on the air. All set?
DAMION DANIELS: Sure thing. I’ll sit tight.
The PRODUCER releases the talkback button and glares at DJ 3000.
DJ 3000: …
PRODUCER: [continues staring daggers]
DJ 3000: …WHAT?
PRODUCER: Listen, I know it’s hard booking guests right now…
DJ 3000: I TOLD YOU, EVERYONE’S ON VACATION…
PRODUCER: …and he seems like a perfectly nice kid…
DJ 3000: …AND EVEN THE PLAYERS’ PUBLICISTS WON’T ANSWER THEIR PHONES RIGHT NOW…
PRODUCER: …but our guest this week is AN UNDRAFTED FREE AGENT ROOKIE? FOR THE FUCKING TEXANS?
DJ 3000: [is chastened]
PRODUCER: You couldn’t get somebody better?
DJ 3000: NO.
PRODUCER: Anybody our listeners might have heard of?
DJ 3000: YOU SEE…
PRODUCER: Nobody will have ever heard of this guy before. Even people in Houston.
DJ 3000: I MEAN, SERIOUS FANS OF THE TEAM WILL HAVE…
PRODUCER: DON’T GIVE ME THAT SHIT EVERYBODY KNOWS THE TEXANS DON’T HAVE FANS.
The PRODUCER smooths his hair, which has become disheveled. He turns back to the booth and punches the talkback button.
PRODUCER: All right Damion, we’re set to go. Have you got a topic for us today?
DAMION DANIELS: I think so. I was thinking about how NFL reporters talk about “camp bodies” and thought – how about songs that include the word “body” in the title? Like, “anybody” or “somebody” or “everybody”?
PRODUCER: I love it! Let’s extend it to include “anyone” or “someone”, those ones too. Have you got an introductory song for us?
DAMION DANIELS: I do. Can you cue up “Everybody, Everybody”?
Today’s theme is: Everybody, Anybody, Somebody, Nobody. We’re looking for songs that mention “body” or “one” in the title in the aforementioned forms. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5um1260a111n” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. The clue for last week’s puzzle song was “Stop Making Sense” which referred to the puzzle song of “Better Girlfriend” by the Talking Heads. Have at it!
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