Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

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This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade [in bed].
Dale Carnegie

While that could be fun, i feel the risk of juice in the eyeball is too great or one would need to have some sort of protective gear on.

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As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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I’m thinking about high school sports and the only time I remember anyone praying was when late in our state tournament semifinal we fell behind 1-0 in the state tournament to a team we should have dominated. Some kids on the bench started praying with maybe two minutes left.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Didn’t help. We lost.

Well, I think we can all count on high school coaches not to abuse their authority.
Dunstan

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This evening I found a young woman’s wallet on the sidewalk, and fortunately she had some business cards in it so I was able to return it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I donated to my local abortion fund today and am trying very hard to convince lady BFC to let me go picket outside Clarence Thomas’s house
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’d rather go draw inverted pentagrams around Amy Coney Barrett’s house and do weird creepy shit that makes her think we’re casting spells on her.

Let’s call Christine O’Donnell and see if she has any tips.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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There is no uglier human being than Roger Stone.
Fronkenshteen

Picture Donald Trump naked.

…

Defense rests.
Redshirt

You’re skirting on the edge of war crimes territory there, Redshirt.
LemonJello

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A supplier rep wanted to do a presentation tomorrow afternoon (We’ve Friday off up here) and my response was the polite version of, “Oh that’s fucking hilarious-I’m not going to be held hostage by a Silly Billy that has the gall to try and schedule a meeting with less than 24 hours notice.”
scotchnaut

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Fuck I hate getting old. Ran to get the door and popped my calf. I am in a decent amount of pain.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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I was going to relax [for the long weekend] but my parents invited people over to their house and they asked me to help out. Now I have two days to fake my kidnapping and/or death.
Redshirt

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https://vancouversun.com/news/local-news/vancouvers-kiss-rage-against-machine-repeat-loop

I like radio rebellion. They just keep playing killing in the name. I checked it’s still on. I hope someone’s locked themselves in with cheeseburgers and a honey pot to do this.
BC Dick

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WE WILL ADOPT YOUR BABY

Doktor Zymm

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Hey, if GTD is around I definitely had some brilliant bon mots in open thread v1 tonight.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nice, you gave away your My Dinner With Andre strategy

SonOfSpam

“Trenchant” is an under-used word. I will donate 2(!) of my 12 DFO Bucks to the commenter that uses that word in a seamless fashion in a sentence over the next three days.
scotchnaut

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This one doesn’t appear to meet the minimum word count [Thursday night’s open thread v2].

Which might explain some things.
Mr. Ayo

I’m getting it in the back end. Which is ironic for me…
ballsofsteelandfury

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…and on the other side of the states of Ohio and morality:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nfl/bengals/2022/06/27/joe-burrow-abortion-roe-v-wade-pro-choice/7751739001/
Redshirt

Joe’s a stand up guy

Except during the regular season, when that swinging door of an offensive line will make that impossible.
Horatio Cornblower

Tell me this guy runs for Senate when he retires from FITBAW.
King Hippo

It’s possible. Ohio has voted before for a guy in a wheelchair who led people out of a Great Depression.
Redshirt

This is why DFO exists.

Try and get that shit over at….I dunno, SI.com or whatever.
blaxabbath

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Important study just dropped.
https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0268785
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That site uses cookies, absolutely none of which I am interested in eating.
Horatio Cornblower

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Alright, we’re digging into the new season of Stranger Things, fuck it.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I very much enjoyed it.

TEENS IN DANGER? WHY THAT’S RIGHT UP MY BASEMENT I MEAN ALLEY
SonOfSpam

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https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/deshaun-watson-suspension-decision-qbs-disciplinary-hearing-with-nfl-concludes-two-outcomes-on-the-table/

“Held to the same standards as Kraft and Jones”?! Watson’s gonna walk.
Redshirt

“What’s wrong with getting the same shakes as me?”

–Robert Kraft, standing naked at a Parkinson’s clinic
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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UPDATE: After 4 hours waiting at “urgent” care, confirmed I tore my calf but NAWT all the way down to my Marino tendon. Howeva, they’re putting me on crutches.

Fuck.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ve got a knee surgery coming up at some point. What say you come up here and we’ll do a “Two For One Special”?*

*which is totally a thing in countries that have dirty Socialist healthcare, as far as you know
scotchnaut

If history is any guide, I think your Marino tendon is only going to the Super Bowl once.
scotchnaut

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THIS COCKTAIL OF THE WEEK I CALL IT ASHLII BABBIT BECAUSE THAT THING GOES DOWN EASY AND NO ONE’S COMPLAINING, JUST A LITTLE SURPRISED.
blaxabbath

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Found a funny;

the first cicada of the season just walked itself right into my fire pit. 13 years under ground looked at the world and said nope
rockingdog

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I will be driving across the USA to deliver a special package to an institution of higher learning on the East Coast.

I think I saw that movie already:

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Greetings from MEX! Despite the only 3 hours of sleep on the redeye this morning, I went on a 6-hour walking tour that was amazing and educational. I propose a DFO clubhouse here!

Oh no! My flight to Paris is delayed! I guess I will have to have another glass of the 2006 Piper Heidsieck. I have a theory that champagne provides one with energy and so far this theory is proving correct.
Doktor Zymm

“In victory, you deserve champagne; in defeat, you need it.” — Napoleon Bonaparte
Dunstan

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Glad to see you’re reading the “Fletch” series; I made the mistake of reading the “Felch” series, and it sucked ass.
SonOfSpam

ballsofsteelandfury

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I don’t want to ruin the ending of Stranger Things or anything, but you are going to hear ‘Running Up That Hill’
Horatio Cornblower

[flinches]
-BFC
scotchnaut

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Twitter keeps promoting this account in my feed, can’t say I mind it

pic.twitter.com/kxcWvAA8QF

— shirts that go hard (@shirtsthtgohard) July 2, 2022

BrettFavresColonoscopy

IS THAT AN IGUANA MART TAG?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Huh, so this brown and tan box from La Maison Du Chocolat contains fruit jellies. I actually prefer these to chocolate, but not what I was expecting!
Doktor Zymm

It’s a trap! They’re trying to groom you for Big Turk consumption!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Bread is good but my Twitter has arisen from the dead after a 6 year suspension!

@buddys_halftime
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

Wanna see that tweet that got the account suspended for 6 years
Game Time Decision

“@nickmullen “If you’re still here in 20 years spray painting the n-word with me in Roxbury I’ll fucking kill you””

The algorithm doesn’t like Good Will Hunting parodies
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

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THIS WEEK’S SUNDAY GRAVY I CALL IT A SEVEN LAYER DIP BECAUSE IT’S GOT A LOT GOING ON YOU MAY OR MAY NOT PICK UP ON AND IT’S FUCKING DELICIOUSLY WICKED
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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/true kid’s drawing anecdote

Oldest: (about 5 years old) “Hey Daddy, look at the picture I drew!”

Me: “Cool! There’s you and mommy and your brother. Where am I?”

Oldest: “At work!”

Me: [quietly, under my breath] “Oh…fuck…”
scotchnaut

It’s ok. Everything worked out-wife and I have a big house on a lake like we wanted and I see my boys almost every day.*

*because they’re working at the warehouse
scotchnaut

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#NawtOurQB


Mr. Ayo

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In Wimbledon news today, Jack Sock lost in a five-setter. Which makes sense, a Jack Sock is usually pretty awful after a long session.
Dunstan

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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