OK folks, let’s make this quick. I just got back from Baltimore, and boy is my liver tired. Great fun meeting a bunch of heretofore imaginary people, (minus BFC), I’d never seen before. A good group of folks we have here. I look forward to meeting more of you in the future.
Inspired by certain events that may or may not have occurred at some point Saturday night, this week’s topic is ‘Heist Movies.’ Rules are it has to be a movie, (no miniseries or TV shows, but it can be a made-for-TV movie), and the main goal of the protagonist(s) has to be the obtaining of valuable through nefarious means.
/blank stares
The guy(s) you’re rooting for have to be stealin’
/wild applause.
Your commissioner is, and can only be, Pierce Brosnan. His heist movies remain available. That said, if I think ‘heist’ these days I think ‘Pierce Brosnan’ in no small part due to @briancgrubb. Well worth a follow if you’re into TV, movies, and twitter.
With the first pick, and in no small part because I know it’s gonna piss off Sharkbait, I’m taking Kelly’s Heroes with the first pick.
Did I also take it as the first pick for war movies? Yes. Is the main focus of Kelly’s plucky band of heroes the obtaining of Nazi gold, which they are then going to keep and not turn over to the rightful owners? Also yes. Kelly’s Heroes is a heist movie that takes place in a war. It’s a great movie that, in my opinion, so many people think is underrated that it actually isn’t underrated. It does need to be available for viewing more often.
The rest of you thieving bastards are on the clock,
I missed the draft but can I assume that the rule against stealing someone’s pick was rescinded for this draft only?
It wasn’t, but probably should have been.
All right, we’ll see if this one counts. National Treasure.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fStGVHBNRXo
Absolutely. Pissed I missed it; that’s a fun movie.
Fun draft today, Horatio!
Thanks!
This was supposed to be a reply to Señor but got all screwed up, so I’ll just take another heist movie.
The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3. Original.
Can’t believe you left this precious gem just sitting there on the shelf:
I’ve seen it.
So, yeah.
My two picks are on the board, so first one:
Goodfellas.
I have to deny this because I denied ArmedandHammered’s ‘To Live & Die in LA’ pick below. ‘Goodfellas’ obviously revolves around multiple crimes, including the Lufthansa heist, but the movie isn’t about those crimes but rather about about the people who commit them.
This has been ‘Horatio is a pedantic asshole who thinks he knows anything about movies’
Under the theory of ‘Everything is a sandwich’ I’m taking ‘The Shawshank Redemption’ and arguing that the entire movie is Andy stealing back his freedom.
My next pick is just a Reuben sandwich
Raiders of the Lost Ark. Fight me.
What other kind of movie could it be?
Action-Adventure? But yeah, it’s definitely a heist movie. I mean it practically says so right in the title.
We’re getting dangerously close to Maestro territory here, but I think heist movies would be a subset of action-adventure movies.
“Thief” – featuring the recently departed James Caan and a killer soundtrack by Tangerine Dream.
6. Sneakers I MEAN COME ON PEOPLE THIS SHOULD HAVE GONE IN THE SECOND ROUND AT THE VERY LEAST.
Hello? Anyone?
“That’s Entrapment!”
-Ryan Leaf and Todd Marinovich to the local PD behind the 7-11
Antman
grumble grumble i’m more of an aunt man myself but good selection grumble grumble
Afternoon from Burkina Faso. Land of insurgents and gold mines (I am working at a gold mine).
So the browns….kill now. 30 FUCKING SETTLED LAWSUITS?!?!
fuck this team
Fuck this fan base
Desaun is a goddamn sex criminal that should be on numerous lists that prevent him from living near a school, public park, etc.
We gave him an absurd amount of money and chased away the only QB in decades that got us a playoff win because he got hurt.
I fucking hate this sport.
You’re literally sitting on a gold mine?
I am seriously sitting in a room, at a facility, that if you Google it, the first news article is about 45 miners dying in an explosion. The second article is about insurgents stopping the bus with some workers and cutting their heads off.
My watch is worth more than what my day shift guys get paid. Its depressing.
Fuck it. I am drunk on some weird local fermented giraffe milk or some shit.
I fucking miss the Johnny Football days. Say what you will about the coked up, alcoholic scamp, he wasn’t a fucking rapist.
Thirty. Fucking thirty. The NFL needs it’s goddamn head examined if they ever let this monster play a single down.
And the fucking browns want a new stadium.
How is this even possible?!? Do the browns not have a fucking PR and Legal department?!?!?
And fuckers will argue that he already has been suspended. He fucking sat out last season on a contract dispute.
I miss the 1-31 seasons. Yeah we sucked, but I wasn’t worried about being associated with sexual assaults by rooting for the fucking team.
You can have pride with supperting a sad sack team. You can’t have pride supporting a goddamn serial rapist.
I’ve seen the argument advanced that “the franchise wants to win, and the fans should support that.” The very effective (imo) counterargument is that “if the only thing Browns fans cared about was winning, they wouldn’t be Browns fans.”
Name an offensive lineman with a daughter that will risk their career and their livelihood for a serial rapist.
I was thinking of taking the time I would otherwise spend watching the NFL this fall and spending it doing volunteer work in support of abortion rights.
Also, it is good to see you. You have been missed.
Thanks. Between work travel and well…the Browns actively doing everything they can to make me feel like a piece of shit for following the team, I’ve not really been paying attention.
The number of victims is between 30 and 52 at this point. And the Browns knew about this.
Desaun has the single greatest sports agent in the history of sports. He got a pay day for this.
5. Drive.
The Great Train Robbery (1903), Edwin S. Porter
2nd selection Resivour Dogs this should not still be here people.
I didn’t pick it because I don’t think it’s a heist movie. We don’t see the heist, we don’t we what goes wrong, we don’t even really discuss what the heist is. It’s the aftermath of a heist.
Close enough that it’ll count, but there’s ton of reasons not to pick it for this draft.
I think Sharkbait and I actually discussed this yesterday.
Joe Cabot lays it out in his meeting with Mr. White – it’s diamonds.
Right, but there is an actual plan discussed?
I’ll have to rewatch it, which I don’t mind because it’s a very good movie.