Your Very First 2022 NFL Sunday Open Thread (that counts)

Are you ready for a great year? It’ll be kinda difficult to top last year although as a Giants fan I can see some areas for improvement. Each team is facing questions as the season opens so let’s do a wee bit of that for the intros.

To The Games!

Saints/Falcons:

Will Jameis Winston be able to cut down his interceptions again this year? In seven games last year he only threw 4! He usually runs at a 1/1.5 per game rate. It looks as though Michael Thomas is a game-timer leaning towards starting although I’m sure he’ll be on a snap count-as are all players that are composed of balsa wood. Will he make it to the end of the third quarter? Will Drake London win Offensive Rookie of the Year? After Pitts there’s nothing to the Falcons passing game.

Niners/Bears:

When will The Unloading of Jimmy G finally occur? Will Lance get pulled if his play turns out to be sloppy? Camp observers say that rocket of an arm has a barely-functioning guidance system. Will the Bears offense be watchable?

Steelers/Cincy:

Will the Steelers wait until after the bye week to run The Pickett Fence? Oh wait, that’s a Hoosiers movie reference. I’ll leave the Pickett’s Charge jokes to you Civil War fans. The Bengali’s o-line has been addressed-will it be a cohesive unit though? Experience tells me these things take a bit of time. Is Cincy’s wr corps the best in the NFL? I lean towards ‘yes’.

Eagles/Lions:

Are the Eagles going to continue their slap-happy, run-all-day ways? Will Miles Sanders ever be a real threat to cross the goal line? Dan Campbell still has the hearts and minds of his players-will this actually translate into wins though?

Pats/Fins:

Does any fantasy fella want any part of New England’s O? I vote “No!”. Will they be able to improve on their 2-7 record in Miami? What will a Mikey McDaniel’s O actually look like? Is Gesicki on the outs?

Ravens/Jets:

Will Hallmark create another sub-genre, this one being “Gently Aging Cougar-ish Women That Chase After Football Players”? My erect nipples indicate that I would watch the hell out of that. Will Flacco put Hippo to sleep mid-game? You know the answer. Outside of Bateman and Edwards, will anyone catch a damn ball?

Jags/Commies:

Is the Meyers addition by subtraction gambit gonna lead to some W’s? How many gallons of sewage water will pour onto fans this week? What will Snyder charge per gallon?

Browns/Panthers:

Are you nuts? Picking McCaffrey first overall? Just throw your draft away, why don’t you? The Browns have some fantastic pieces of talent sprinkled throughout their roster but don’t you feel that The Watson Debacle has cast a shadow over the organization?

Colts/Texans:

Will Ryan have a career-rejuvenating year or will the wheels fall off? Their is no in-between. Will my prediction of Davis Mills throwing 30 TD’s bear fruit? Botanists everywhere hold their breath.

That’s the early games. Do a thing with your digits down below.

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LemonJello

Pray for the LemonJello party as we start the trek down I-95 to Fortress LemonJello. See you all for the late thread, hopefully.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“All right, Huber, all you need to do is put it somewhere inside the twenty…”

Col. Duke LaCross

Saying a silent prayer to David Carradine right now.

ArmedandHammered

Shanklor be praised!

ArmedandHammered

And his son Doink!

hippofant

I see that inflation is also hitting football games.

Brick Meathook

I was wondering why CIN was so close yet they wouldn’t send the kicker in.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Was that 3rd down? If so, the holder really should have eaten that and tried again on 4th.

Redshirt

Yup. Actually not. The next could’ve gone over his head and gone the other way.

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Gumbygirl

Jesus Christ they cut away for the Chargers!

Redshirt

Laces out…and snap not six feet above the holder!

Gumbygirl

He missed it!

Redshirt

Just have Wilcox snap it 30 yards, recover the fumble and hold it there!

Field goal now?!@

Redshirt

WHY?!

Redshirt

Boyd out. Mixon out. Sanity out.

Redshirt

Just run out the clock and escape with a tie. I’ll take the point.

King Hippo

My Loser pool entry strongly disagrees!

Redshirt

That’s on you for betting on the Bengals, for or against! You knew what you were getting into!

King Hippo

Lookit that, 4th round kicker draft choice VALIDATED

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Time for Fat Pitch Mitch to tee one up for the Bengals defense.

WCS

Not in Matt Canada’s offense.

“Five-yard pass behind the line of scrimmage? DIAL IT UP!”

litre_cola

I am going to lose a 4 game parlay that would have won me 350 by 1 fucking point in one game.

Football is most definitely back.

Redshirt

You could almost see the Bengals Holder head shrug as the snap slowly came toward him.

“Oh, shit. This is gonna suck.”

King Hippo

I was waiting for Biscuit to call “titties”

Gumbygirl

Yes, we have some bananas! We have some bananas todayyyyyy!🎶

clint greasewood

comment image

King Hippo

Had I bet any of this, I would be ded and buried

Redshirt

Okay. Bengals need a Touchdown to win, and our biggest weapon, McPherson, has been eliminated. Poop.

clint greasewood

OT in Houston and Cinnciatti

Sharkbait

Bananacakes in Cincy!

Spur

Laces Out!

WCS

REDSHIRT HATES FOOTBALL AGAIN

Gumbygirl

Hahahahahahahahaha!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lulz

WCS

REDSHIRT LOVES FOOBAWL AGAIN

Redshirt

Not yet.

King Hippo

upon further review…

Redshirt

Touchdown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Emergency Long Snapper?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?

litre_cola

REDSHIRT HAZ A HAPPY

litre_cola

Or not.

ArmedandHammered

Redshirt, do you have a vest with the built in defibrillators? Because if you don’t, you should get one.

Horatio Cornblower

GO FOR 2!!! GO FOR 2!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Might as well have.

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