This will be quick and dirty as I’ve be sleeping all day. The transformation into Hippo is almost complete.
Newsy Notes:
-The Chiefs Willie Gay has been suspended for 4 games for violating-you guessed it-‘personal conduct policies’. I think Andy must be happy because it fills his one per year quota.
-Trey Lance (or is it Lance Trey?) had surgery first thing this morning to repair his ankle. First thing this morning Jimmy G went out and had himself a huge, satisfying breakfast. He tipped 75%.
-Truth Biscuit threw OC Matt Canada under the bus yesterday. That noise you hear is Kenny Pickett’s music.
To The Games!
Titans/Bills:
-These guys have played 5 years in a row but you don’t hear too much about this being a rivalry.
-Josh Gordon is Back! Where is the faith in Racey McMath? They’re treating him like a damn variable.
-Titans are getting an early start on devastating injuries-they have 7 players on IR already.
Vikes/Eagles:
-I’ve the notion that J.J. will no doubt cause the Eagles to rue the fact that they chose Jalen Reagor over Jefferson. Funny that Reagor, now on Minny’s roster, will get a front row seat to the proceedings.
-How did Devonta not even get a catch last week when the Eagles piled up 38 points of offense last week?
-Can’t help but think that old dependable Kirkie will get the Vikes up early in this game. The question then becomes, “Will Philly stick to their incredibly effective run game or will they panic?”
Do that thing.
The Vikings’ helmet says to “Choose Love.” No mentioning if theres chartered yachts involved
Sort of?
15 min. update: Quantum Leap isn’t actually as bad as I feared, though I may be watching through rose-colored glasses. I wish they’d explained how the world went from Terminator Techno-Noir Future to Now Present in between 1999 and 2022.
Beginning was a bit rushed. Almost like they went “Let’s establish the present and all the characters so we can…aw, screw it, throw him in the past!”
Is the sidekick a pervert like AL was in the original?
No, sidekick observer is normal, which makes it weird when she shows up. She doesn’t stand out.
In football terms, you don’t notice the 12th man if he’s wearing Buffalo Bills football uniform, but you’d notice the 12th man if he’s wearing a Montreal Expos uniform.
Watch Kurt throw a pick-six now.
Well, not a six but…
Well, you were half right. I’m giving you full credit though.
Close!
Sudden…..change?
I don’t suppose anyone told the Iggles that a 20 point lead is not safe.
Much less a 17 point lead.
I think it’s safe tonight.
This other game is no better. Guess it’s off to bed for me. Later, Taters!
SEMI(?) SUDDEN CHANGE
Looks like this guy has some company in the category of people named Darius who are great
Worst. Viking. Funeral. Ever.
I like that, Kurt.
https://twitter.com/iam_johnw/status/1571901814827798530?t=35gzvBCNiGhnxmLJocrNqw&s=19
I’d like to report a dead body.
Seriously, I would love to report finding Colin Cowherd’s dead body.
Heh heh heh.
Never ever take sports betting advice from professional poker players.
https://twitter.com/phil_hellmuth/status/1571661094011412485
It’s probably best to block Phil Hellmuth from your consciousness altogether
(proceeds to throw temper tantrum while calling everyone idiots and myself a genius, gets perma-banned by mods, which gets turned into 12 hour ban at the cost of a case of imported beer)
I wouldn’t take poker advice from that insufferable asshole.
I assume he didn’t win all those bracelets because he sucks, but at the same time he’s such a dick that I would pretty much automatically do the opposite of whatever he said.
I think I might visit The Gloup in June
The Gloup
https://maps.app.goo.gl/zokoyeBndRFn6AheA
If you told me The Gloup was in Orkney, north of John ‘O Groats and Skarfskerry but south of Grobister Dishes? I’d’ve believed you.
Malik Willis’s grasp on the ball is as tenuous as Liberty University’s grasp of basic science.
Fumble? WHAT’CHU TALKIN’ ABOUT, WILLIS?
Buck looks like Putin
They both look like Putin.
With all these muffs, this game should be on Skinimax!
Olivia has the shining and this is why she blocked the Manningcast tonight
Assuming Philly doesn’t blow it, the NFC and AFC Easts will be the only divisions with 2 teams going 2-0
Alright, I guess I’ll check out Quantum Leap 2.0. The Bengals have ruined my present and future. I may as well have my precious, childhood memories ruined as well. Innocence is overrated, anyway.
They spelled the main character’s name of the previous one correctly, so they got one up on the Series Finale at least.
Godspeed
Case Keenum has been spotted. This is not a drill. Case Keenum is on the field!
Case Keenum: On the Case!
Case Keenum, a private eye, uses a cover identity as a professional NFL QB in an attempt to solve crimes. Poor results and hijinx ensue!
Coming this fall to CBS!
Don’t worry Malik, you always have that Liberty University degree to fall back on.
Oh, I’m sure there’s a conservative think tank or two out there that will happily hire a Liberty University graduate named…Malik? Oh, man. That’s depressing.
“I know boss, but it’s OK: he’s one of the good ones!”
Not sure why Buffalo scheduled a tune-up game in Week 2. That won’t do them any favors in the AP & Coach’s Polls.
I agree.
Guess I don’t need to watch any more of that Bills game. Thank goodness DonT doesn’t have electricity to watch that one.
Jesus, if they let Allen play the 4th quarter I might have a chance to win.
/they should not let Allen play the 4th quarter.
//gestures at all the injuries so far: “LOOK AT THE BONES, MAN!!!”
Tanny-spanked-Fanny got benched? Malik Willis in as Tits QB.
Fourth preseason game.
Might as well see what that Libtard’s got smh
It’s still 3 Quarter in Buffalo?
Some random skinny guy spotting high school Jalen Hurts like he could actually do anything helpful with 500 lbs
Tartarus on earth
At least Don T got an early start for his walk home.
Worst one yet
They’re wearing women’s undergarments in this one.
Pray for all those folding tables out in the parking lot in Buffalo.
hide your grandmas
Bubba Ray on Mae Young: “That’s a tough b*tch right there. When I first slammed her, I put her down gingerly. She grabbed my wrist hard afterward. ‘Hotshot! If you’re gonna slam me, slam me like one of the boys!’ When I powerbombed her off the stage, she took the whole thing! Then she farted on me!”
How do you get two hands on the ball and still drop it?
That’s why he plays defen—
He’s walking back to Minnesota.
Just got off work. Any MNF games worth checking out?
Depends, they’re both kinda blowouty, but not actually boring
Woe is you if playing against the Allen/Diggs stack.
I can tell you that you don’t have quite as much to worry about if you’re playing against the Allen/Singletary stack.
Motown Philly does indeed seem to be back again
Zack Morris and Jim Halpert
Tennessee appears to have gone Tits Up
Ooh, fun Tannyception
The Tits have really put the lotion in the basket
The most egregious thing about that Manning family-Caesar Sports Book commercial is the idea that Eli can count to “27.”
My chances of winning in money league are at 93%-can I go to bed now?
“What could possibly go wrong?” — Atlanta Falcons
“Agreed” — Cleveland Browns
Have you done all your clubhouse chores, young man?
Nice muff!
blushes coquettishly
SUDDEN CONTINUATION
Not a good night for Tits.
Fortunately we have Friday around here.
in THEORY
Titans didnt practice covering punts
https://twitter.com/janecoaston/status/1572026783129808896?s=20&t=wOT-2lj9IDe0yZESJkzAUw
When Kool-Aid came out with those weird flavors in the 90s, we used them as mixers. Vodka and Purplesaurus Rex was a “Purplesaurus Wrecked”
I forget what we used Sharkleberry Fin for.
Grape koolaid and everclear has been known as Purple Jesus since there was a Jesus. But it must be mixed in a garbage can, or the transubstantiation stuff doesn’t happen!
Yeah, the idea was based on that. I think we just liked the name better!
MNF counts as weekend, PILL UP!!
I AM ALREADY THERE HAIL SATAN
ah am SO PROUD at how good an influnce Hippo has been to you and Scotchy both. JOIN US, imaginarium!!
I swear to fucking God I’m gonna make a bunch of empty fantasy leagues on yahoo with the minimum number of teams with the maximum number of players just so I can draft every single player possible so I can win at least 1 fucking league. Watch God try to screw me over that way.
Get fucked Adam “10 tds in 13 games last year theilan”