Welcome aboard! We’ve got a few tasty tilts for you to gnaw on. (Dan Campbell’s ears perk up)
To The Games!
Ravens/Pats:
Look for more RPO-style plays from…Mac Jones? Well, now that he’s no longer a fatty, he ran some last week and of course there were plenty down at Alabama. Them Ravens can put points on the board as they showed during their rough and tumble loss to Miami. Can they stop points though?
Chiefs/Colts:
Indy’s formula for success-giving the ball to Taylor, controlling the clock and tightening up on D didn’t work vs the frickin’ Jags last week (lost 24-0) so what chance do they have against the Chiefs?
Saints/Panthers:
It’s “THE BATTLE OF THE FORMER #1 OVERALL DRAFT PICKS WHOSE CAREERS HAVEN’T QUITE PANNED OUT QUITE THE WAY THEY’D LIKE” Bowl. Rhule barely makes it to the bye before he’s shitcanned.
Texans/Bears:
Houston could be 2-0 if they could hold onto a lead but they’ve no experience in that regard. That Chicago win in the rain in week one is still a throwaway game in that they won. The only starter to throw less passes than Fields is Dak.
Bills/Fins:
Well lookee here, it’s your star matchup of the early slate, glory be! Scoring won’t be an issue here because a.) the Bills and b.) the Bills defense is missing a bunch of defensive starters.
Lions/Vikes:
Dan “Sawney Bean” Campbell should be entertaining on the sideline today. Minny has firepower with JJ and Dalvin while the Lions have put up 35 and 38 so far this season. They’ve also scored a major in 15 straight quarters! Are we looking at a rare NFC North score-kakke game?
Bengals/Jets:
At the outset of the season you’d think that some in the Jets organization would look to Cincy regarding how to turn things around. Now as it stands, the Bengals are looking at the Jets as an opportunity to turn things around.
Raiders/Titans:
Welcome to the “Somebody’s Gotta Win, Right?” Bowl. Plenty of teams have dug themselves out of 0-3 holes but many, many more have followed that start with a ton more losses.
Eagles/Commies:
Wentz is doing his part with a 7-3 TD/INT number and two 300 yarders but there’s no D yet-36 points to the Lions and 22 to the Jags? That won’t do. Eagles smell blood, go to 3-0.
Push your buttons.
Cincinnati https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/14.0.0/svg/1f494.svg on Twitter: “Let’s check-in on the #Jets sideline https://t.co/u9abRcoMn3” / Twitter
Even cheering, Jets fans are just a sad looking bunch.
I don’t care because these kids are well compensated and I went to war at 21 for $18k/yr (tax free!) — but I just want to say I’d take the under on 5 years until someone dies from a play on the field. I just think these athletes are way too strong
I think a high school kid died from a football hit just this last week.
Yeah but they’re not sent to the gridiron of the National Football League.
THIS GUY TOM BRADY I CALL HIM MOSES CAUSE IT’S BEEN REPORTED THAT HE GOT PISSED OFF AND BROKE TWO TABLETS.
15…10 Commandments – YouTube
Garrett Wilson just broke at least a quarter of his ribs.
“Fresh Riblets!”
-Andy Reid. Storming through a pack of sharks
That’s one loud upright in NJ.
One thing that I find is a moral shame is the way broadcasts routinely discuss things like “being in the concussion protocol” and “violating the leagues substance abuse policy” as administrative matters of cursory meaning.
I’m convinced God full on wants me to quit fantasy:
My starter montgomery is injured while Herbert, Boyd, and theilen are sitting on mybbench with tds
Perhaps getting a literal sign is the most one can really ask of God?
oh whaddya know, a bears 3rd down not-pass!
Hulu has free red zone today. That’s cool.
I’m never going to buy it but it is cool.
Youtube tv has it too.
Tee Higgins is head dead.
His helmet almost got knocked off.
“So he got his bell rung!? Make him a better man!”
– M Ditka
Wait, we’re posting pictures of sexy Soviet women? Ok then.
What are you talking about? She’s American!
You’re right, I remember her from when she attended the University of New York!
well, it sorta counts
Oh who am I kidding I love this fucking team.
I have a team you can love even more. You won’t even have to switch divisions.
Its always weird when you hear your words out of someone else’s mouth.
Fins coach rocking that grad student look
I prefer to think of him as the TA that picks up on undergrad girls.
“Hey, that’s my kind of…oh, undergrad? Nevermind.”
-M. Gaetz, R-FL
I mean, that guy FUCKS
the CLOTS could not have hoped for a better start
(chiefs have still tied it 7-7)
nope, 7-6 shanked pat!
Did I miss a meeting where everyone figured out what a catch was?
God I hate this stupid fucking team.
I have a suggestion if you ever feel like switching. You don’t even have to switch divisions!
Operation Don’t Care if a Honeypot, Still Got Honey
This is a thing I see. Thanks for the tip.
Fuck Lions look frisky.
I called it, they’s getting the 7 seed.
Wentz stinks. Someone should shoot and mount him over a fireplace.
at least I started the Iggles D/ST
Wentz wentzing while wincing.
We cans have 1st Half Lead?
y’all felt bad about Dok’s wager
From the last two weeks, it seems the first half means nothing.
well, at least y’all made Brokeback work hard, LOLfins
That’s Rikki’s Raiders!
Taking the holding penalty was the one that bugged me.
agreed, that play lost 4
All Hail Doink!
As a quartered back, Strawberry Fields is a good punt returner.
Fats Humps got a muff
Skyy can has a boo-boo
who else yelled SEVEN HOURS along with the Greatest Living American?
Bengals didn’t defer the coin toss? Are they trying to get Burrow into the hospital in time for lunch?
Salisbury Steak day for those who still have teeth.
Oh, wait. The Raiders game isn’t on here. It’s infomercials!
Oh, that’s right. It’s on Fox.
https://twitter.com/TheLiberalPoet/status/1573934480867598336?s=20&t=bzyWmIMYzPAkgvk0JuSVng
Not a good sign when your innocent baby has a violent reaction to Holy Water.
Let’s see how you react when dropped in cold water without your consent. Or it could be the demons just being driven out.
I Christen you Damien Beezlebub Jones
dont want to have him end up like Achilles
I’m actually a little irritated that the Raiders game is on here because thanks to the pact I made with them last season now I’m obligated to watch it.
We get Vegas in LA, so we don’t have to witness the Brady-Rodgers suckfest.
Never mind. I guess I’ll do some work around the house in the afternoon…
Here some of my fav leverage plays today
Kamara
Dillon
Edmonds
Gage
Bourne
Gabe Davis
I feel a bit better about me Kamara play now, thanks Imaginary not-quite-Rooskie Pal!
First D-O-N-K-S! chant in my recluse lair, grandson cat (Noodles) not at all impressed.
/we also have pot roast smells emanating WOO
No cigs! Boy, the Soviets were ruthless.
My son had a bunch of those Soviet propaganda posters.
Good day gentlemen (and others)! I have only just recently recovered from the devastating defeat that the Three Kittens suffered to the far less civilized descendants of the Roman Empire. In what world does England suffer any kind of defeat? Not in my world — that’s for certain! In any case, I hope to see another successful campaign mounted by the Commanders and their seemingly ruthless lieutenant Wentz! Hail to the
[*Redacted] sChiefsCommanders!Rodgers and Brady, am hoping for a murder suicide outcome.
I love my ded gay NFC quartered backing rivals!
/this is a Heathers joke
Morning Folks
Morning
oh, rodgers/brady is this week. looks like its the 1pm games only for me
very annoyed that wasn’r primetime so I could avoid completely
chasing “ceiling not floor” I reckon will play Kamara over Agholor, But I don’t feel good about it.
Didn’t expect the last part of the second tag
local hobos must be getting faster
Robert Sarver needs to be template for every fan base that wants a new owner. Looking at you, DC.
Does Jerrah pay networks to keep Michael Irvin employed? He’s been doing this 20+ years, started terrible at doing his job and has not improved at all. He still remains employed.
The thing you have to remember is that he knows where to get really good coke.
And hookers. His scouts have a rep for identifying talent.
And haircuts. You won’t be sitting around reading magazines for long, promise you that.
Michael knows where all the bodies are buried.
But at least he’s mostly unintelligible. And every bit as loud as his suits.
Goddamnit, how many more weeks until the London games start?
The right derby next Sunday morning.
It will be an early bedtime that day.
poor planning not to coincide with international break in Lesser-verse
Actually it’s probably a good thing no London games were scheduled the last 2 weeks. They would have been postponed for the Queen’s Dirt-Centennial.
that ded bitch would stand no chance against The Shield.
Okay, losing to Pittsburgh? Understandable, beating Cincinnati is in their DNA.
Losing to Dallas and Off-Brand Andy Dalton? Fine, unknown backup QBs with little-to-no experience is the Bengals’ kryptonite.
But losing to the New York Jets and Joe Flacco will confirm that last season was a dream, and y’all are Class-4 Assholes for playing around and making me feel good.
Wouldn’t that be Class A assholes?
Soooo, do I take the chance and play Herbert or go with Mills at 1pm?
It’s got to be Herbie the Duck. You can drop Mills after the bye.
I am playing Mariota instead of Herbert the Duck
/then again, I am quite bad at this
Didn’t Boris say Herbie is hurtie? Or maybe I just imagined that.
oh he’s quite hurt, but apparently thinking about getting shot up and playing anyway