Your Week 3 Afternoon Slate of NFL Games Open Thread

You’re back! Nice to see you, love what you’ve done with your hair.

To The Games!

Jags/Chargers:

Will he play? By the time you read this it will already have been decided but I’m typing this at 10am East Best Time. Did the Chargers fire that oaf that gave Tyrod Taylor an unwanted piercing? They had to, right? (probably with a fat bonus, given what’s happened since) If he’s on board he should rack up another 300 yarder and this should be a walk of cake. Chase Daniels might muck things up a bit but the Chargers have too much talent.

Packers/Bucs:

GAH! Do I have to write anything about this “Battle of The Chuckle Fucks”? I was going to say something about these two qb’s being the most hated guys in sports but then I realized that there are plenty of front-runners and the field has plenty of depth as well. Volume off if you dare to watch this.

Rams/Cards:

Is Allen Robinson ever going to get going? Fatt Matt is doing me no favors in Freezer Vodka league. (if you’d like to see how I’m doing,  squint your eyes and scroll down to the very bottom of the standings-at least I’m 2-0 in money league.

Falcons/Seahawks:

Carroll, like Tomlin, is going to drag his ragtag bunch of randos across the .500 mark, isn’t he? I mean, he knows what he’s doing despite taking that age-old “running game and tough D wins the day” path to victory. The Falcons will look back to the good old days as well, when they were the favorite playthings of the Ottoman elite.

Give me some of your lovin’.

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Doktor Zymm

Just landed and color me surprised at some of the late game results! Good on you Atlanta!

litre_cola

*ColoUr

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Touchdown Tom damn near gave me a heart attack. Still, pretty hilarious that the most experience QB in the league can’t get the snap off on time.

litre_cola

I would love a breakdown of call in shows. Like when we used to do “Fanbase” reacts reasonably.

King Hippo

Now let’s SLING SOME CHARM

LemonJello

CAN RUSS COOK?

King Hippo

FUCK OFF PACKERS, making Fetch happen

Cecil Rhodes

Here’s the question that everyone should be asking: if Aaron Rodgers and Carl Nassib exchange numbers after the game, will Rodgers choose to get vaccinated for protection against monkeypox?

blaxabbath

Wife and are going to dinner in Scottsdale and I think it’ll be about the time Cardinals Talk Post Game Call In Show will be airing.

It’s a gorgeous evening. You could make this drive a Volvo commercial.

Gumbygirl

I was listening to the game on Sirius when I was coming home from the store. That Ron Wolfley is a box of rocks, isn’t he?

Col. Duke LaCross

Dude sounds like Jesse Ventura in his prime.

Gumbygirl

That’s who I thought it was!

LemonJello

comment image

King Hippo

Know who’s a shitty coach? The guy who left in his injured franchise quartered back in the game, down 4 scores with 5 minutes to play.

blaxabbath

If you all missed my season preview, the Cardinals are 32nd in defensive spending.

And they have some offensive mastermind at HC.

9 points against a divisional opponent.

King Hippo

Almost like that organization is run by a drunk or sommet

litre_cola

Good day! Wedding season is now officially over. I almost throat punched the asshat on the plane next to me. He took over the arm rest and kept elbowing me while working on his computer.

I almost went to air jail.

LemonJello

*deep breath*

DUUUUUUUUUUVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

King Hippo

Think how jazzed that guy on The Good Place must be!

King Hippo

Qards are Qooked

LemonJello

Kliff Kan’t Klose?

King Hippo

Give Arthur Smith credit, they have designed an offense that Mariota can effectively handle, but is now getting their playmakers involved.

blaxabbath

Is Marriotta dumb? Why has he never done anything and now is a stater again for some reason?

King Hippo

Think it’s more that he’s limited as a passer, especially downfield.

blaxabbath

Just because they cans back and beat the Raiders last week didn’t mean Kliff doesn’t have the stupidest head coach outfit in the league.

King Hippo

back to Koach Kliff’s Kloset!

blaxabbath

I wonder what that old lady in OH Urban Meyer was grinding on last year is up to this evening?

King Hippo

hopefully at least getting twenties for it

Redshirt

Remember when this was supposed to be the Chargers’ year?

Mr. Ayo

The HOX defense is more theoretical at this point.

King Hippo

thinks back to Week 1, cringes yet again

King Hippo

Drake London is much better than I expected.

Spur

Really shows how horrible Clay Helton was a USC. Team was stacked with receivers

blaxabbath

Drake “Mallard” London !

Whoop!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GAME CLOCK I CALL IT A CATNIP-FILLED TOY BECAUSE THE JAGUARS ARE CHEWING IT UP.

blaxabbath

Raitt makes you think….Urban Meyer sure sucks.

King Hippo

Maya Kendrick playing CB for RRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! Not that effectively, mind.

King Hippo

Good Lord. Even if they lose, I’mma say Jaguras are the odds-on favoUrite to take the Surly Duff Division.

Mr. Ayo

Amazing what a competent coach can do with an NFL roster.

blaxabbath

Buttfumble giving analysis on Fox.

Was Brett Favre booked?

Redshirt
Last edited 1 year ago by Redshirt
King Hippo

NOT Guilty! – all white MS jury, after 15 seconds of deliberation

blaxabbath

Is this image Justin fields?

I don’t know these guys off their uniforms.

yeah right

Think it’s Austin Ekeler.

blaxabbath

What a stud

yeah right

He puts in the damn work for sure.

King Hippo

Mutually Assured Wretched Offense in the Bay-Bay Battle. Hippo is content.

King Hippo

My Wolven Sort check in the new AP poll at #10. Away to #5 Clemson, it will be the first EVAR Textile Bowl with both sides ranked in the Top Ten.

King Hippo

LOOKIT Y’ALL JAGURAS

Redshirt

Way Early London Game Next Sunday? Jolly good. Jolly good.

King Hippo

14 hours of MANDATORY FITBAW

Game Time Decision

Mandatory footy is Mandatory

Gumbygirl

Ok, but expect Grumpygirl at 6:30 in the morning!

Spur

Bosa Brothers Bedrest Bonanza

yeah right

Game day menu in full effect! Brats on the grill? Check-a-rino. Pork rinds and beers? Bet your ass.

We have a strange tradition in the right house called “Rally Skins.” If your team is trailing late and needs to rally to win you grab some skins – AKA pork rinds- and a beer.

Did I have Rally Skins when my team was trailing late today?
Goddamn right!

Did it work?

SKOL MOTHERFUCKERS!!

King Hippo

Y’all got lucky as fuck. But wins are all pink in the dark.

/pot roast in casa del Hippo, noodles go on when Red Zone ends

Gumbygirl

I’m making oven roasted cod with caponata, on pearl couscous.

yeah right

Delightful.

No issues with lingering fish smell from oven baking?

Gumbygirl

Who cares, not my house!

yeah right

Have to win a home divisional game.
Have to.

Character win. As TAJ says “Beats the shit out of losing.”

Gatoraids

Surprised Andy Reid never traded for Tonyan mistaking him for Funyan

Doktor Zymm

I think the spelling difference is too drastic, once they started to write up the trade offer he had a peek and caught on

Redshirt

…or Tonyan vetoed the trade when he heard his plans for him involved cheese sauce.

yeah right

Why yes, we have Funyuns in the house as we speak.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m about to go vacuum the car. You won’t have seen sucking like this unless you watched the Raiders game earlier today.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Or if you’re watching Tampa-Green Bay. I imagine the qbelatio levels are off the charts.

Redshirt

Rumors are the Adult Film Actors Guild is filing a grievance.

Doktor Zymm

Can’t you just park the car inside the house so your wife will vacuum it?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Actually, no. She specifically requested that I use the shop-vac. And it’s her birthday week, so…

Doktor Zymm

Also, nice to know that you can take the Raiders out of Oakland, but they’re still the same Raiders. You are way too good for them!

King Hippo

I imagine nobody outside the local markets get the broadcast, but Falcons/Truthers has been surprisingly decent.

blaxabbath

Jalen Ramsey is a guy I like.

Doktor Zymm

Do we think the night game will be good enough to watch in a sportsbook, or should I stick with playing cards and looking up every once in a while?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Depends on the card game. When you’ve got a good game of Crazy Eights going you CANNOT walk away.” – Elisha

Doktor Zymm

“This is why we switch to Well-Adjusted Eights when it gets close to bedtime”
-Olivia

blaxabbath

Mahjong

Gatoraids

Bet Russ Book

King Hippo

I mean, Donks/Tomsulas is MUST WATCH TEEVEE

TheRevanchist

My TV schedule said we are getting Bucs-Pack, but instead they are showing Rams-Cards. The announcers on this game are definitely sucking the balls of Stafford. So, no real difference.

Game Time Decision

Is that a step up or down. Wait,,its just a lateral step

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nah, Stafford is way more likeable than Lord Cheaterton and Mr. Pureblood.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ahem, “Doctor”* Pureblood.

*of immunovaccinology from the unaccredited medical school at the Correspondence College of Tampa

King Hippo

I mean, he’s a fat fuck with a sense of humoUr. JUST LIKE US!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m accidentally abstaining from football today. Few regrets.

Doktor Zymm

I’m starting to think the Jaguras are kind of stealth not-awful. Not good, certainly, but maybe two small tiers above the Jets instead of just one

blaxabbath

That Gunslinger sidearm?

What kind of small dick project did Stafford rob from the poor to fund?

Gumbygirl

I was driving back to Riverside and Sirius had that copperfit ad of teenyweeny’s. He should have zero endorsement deals.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“HAR HAR HAR I DON’T MIND IF BRITTFARR STOLE FROM DEM WELFARE QUEENS!” – Billy Bob, driving back from the bar to his double-wide

King Hippo

I really hope that sports complex has to be named Brett Favre Welfare Fraud Project until he fucking dies.

blaxabbath

The only explanation for the crappiness of this Cardinals team is their shoddy union labor pool.

King Hippo

The Current Status of the Legend of White Mac:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vy6Roo5WEI

Last edited 1 year ago by King Hippo
Redshirt

+1 T. Brady

Gatoraids

thanks to TB last week NFL sent a warning to all the teams they will fine and add penalties if someone else breaks a surface

Redshirt

Tom Brady: “Grabs down marker and hits a referee in the nuts with it.”
NFL: “We’ll fine and add penalties if anyone else does that.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Can’t really use this as KOTW cause of the format, but it’s certainly worthy.

blaxabbath

“I thought they meant surface of the end zone?”

– Washington Post-Skins

blaxabbath

Weeks like this I think about maybe taking Quotables down to the Pet Symetary….

Doktor Zymm

I think I’m just going to try and catch as many LioUns games a possible this year, sounds like I missed a decent one against Minny-sota this morning.

Gatoraids

This TB-GB game will be the The No Gag Reflex Zone

Redshirt

Let’s check out the last game.

(switches channel)

“…the two greatest quarterbacks of our generation….”

(switches channel)

Couldn’t make it one complete sentence.

Gumbygirl

No way am I turning on that knobslobbin’ fest.

King Hippo

The Legend of Hobbled White Mac

King Hippo

Not gonna lie. I will keep RedZone on, but I am surely moonlighting with Footy Manager.

ArmedandHammered

I may do some figure painting with Redzone on the computer, but there is no way in hell I am having the sound on.