Your Week 3 Afternoon Slate of NFL Games Open Thread

You’re back! Nice to see you, love what you’ve done with your hair.

To The Games!

Jags/Chargers:

Will he play? By the time you read this it will already have been decided but I’m typing this at 10am East Best Time. Did the Chargers fire that oaf that gave Tyrod Taylor an unwanted piercing? They had to, right? (probably with a fat bonus, given what’s happened since) If he’s on board he should rack up another 300 yarder and this should be a walk of cake. Chase Daniels might muck things up a bit but the Chargers have too much talent.

Packers/Bucs:

GAH! Do I have to write anything about this “Battle of The Chuckle Fucks”? I was going to say something about these two qb’s being the most hated guys in sports but then I realized that there are plenty of front-runners and the field has plenty of depth as well. Volume off if you dare to watch this.

Rams/Cards:

Is Allen Robinson ever going to get going? Fatt Matt is doing me no favors in Freezer Vodka league. (if you’d like to see how I’m doing,  squint your eyes and scroll down to the very bottom of the standings-at least I’m 2-0 in money league.

Falcons/Seahawks:

Carroll, like Tomlin, is going to drag his ragtag bunch of randos across the .500 mark, isn’t he? I mean, he knows what he’s doing despite taking that age-old “running game and tough D wins the day” path to victory. The Falcons will look back to the good old days as well, when they were the favorite playthings of the Ottoman elite.

Give me some of your lovin’.