Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

So, as I mentioned on the weekend, I got the Christmas lights up on the house as it was a nice warm day here, 18C or so. As I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, I put them up in a snow storm one year, and will not do that again, so while it’s early to have them up, it got me thinking about when it’s okay to start turning the lights on at night? what say you?

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This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment [in bed].
Rita Mae Brown, ‘Alma Mater’

This is totally how the shocker was invented, isn’t it.

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As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Thanks Hippo! I was unable to watch any yesterday, except for about 5 minutes in which I got to see the CMC catch, so that was perfect timing.

With the Buccs loss, I imagine once the divorce is final, Dreamboat will blame all his failures on his x-wife (welcome to the group Tom – there is instant decaff and week old donuts over on the table) and tries to play next year to show the world it was HER fault, only to suck even more. Tarnishing his legacy in the eyes of all as he looks pathetic and weak. (Please oh Mighty Morrigan Goddess of Fate, Death, and War; let this happen)
ArmedandHammered

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NFL: 8 in the box

El Tractorcito

Don T

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Eli’s unrelenting roasting of his brother will never not be funny
Brocky

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THIS BENGAL’S OFFENSIVE LINE I CALL IT THE HIGG’S BOSON, BECAUSE IT SEEMS TO EXIST MORE IN THEORY THAN IN FACT!!!
Horatio Cornblower

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Ah man, I wish I had seen this last year

Brocky

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Whatever portrait Suzy Kolber has covered up in her attic has got to be absolutely hideous by now.
Horatio Cornblower

the portrait is in Namaths attic
Gatoraids

Well then it’s definitely covered, just maybe not with canvas.
Horatio Cornblower

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Were we supposed to do Halloween posts? I had a good idea for one that I of course did nothing with.
Horatio Cornblower

Here’s a scary Halloween story.

“So my mother is moving in with us.”
jjfozz

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As we get older, we get bored. Then I found Twitter and I have been rejuvenated because pissing people off on that platform is liking taking ribs from an unconscious Andy Reid.
jjfozz

I deleted it two days ago. Fuck Elon Musk.

Gumbygirl

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I have defeated the WordPress Gremlins that seek to keep from commenting only to realize I have nothing useful to say so I will just haunt you all until the Ghost in the Machine boots me off again. Boo, scary.
Downfield Matriculator

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Peyton is really stretching his legs as “Peyton,” but who the hell is Eli supposed to be?
Col. Duke LaCross

Eli’s disappointed the Great Pumpkin didn’t show up again.
WCS

Eli should have dressed up as a giant teabag and told people he’s “Peyton, but when he was in college.”
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Just saw the nickname “Space Karen” for twitter’s new owner and I love it.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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“Well, I hit the mass-murdering psychopath in the back with a chair, and now he’s not moving, so I guess my work here is done and I can just run away with no worries at all now.”

Jason:

Horatio Cornblower

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This BC Dick, I call him LAWRENCE OF ARABIA because after doing battle on a scary night he got himself filled up with a Big Turk

/sorry, I have no discretion or any other pillars of wisdom
Downfield Matriculator

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Oof. Second no-hitter in World Series history.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No-hitter*
Mr. Ayo

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The asterisks have a no hitter through six? Shenanigans! Fucking cheaters.
Mr. Ayo

WCS

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So crazy windy here at the beach this afternoon that the shadows are being blown sideways:

Brick Meathook

Fuck, I miss the Pacific Ocean
King Hippo

-Not Amelia Earhart
Horatio Cornblower

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Have now entered the lower limits of Ketosis. Expect to begin burning fat at a faster frequency soon. And, as clearly listed in the Terms and Conditions when joining this website, if I gain superpowers as a side effect, I will use them to combat the forces of evil and Roger Goodell.
Redshirt

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I bought a Powerball ticket for tonight, if I win I will follow this plan:

Comment
byu/squalorid from discussion
inAskReddit

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

TL:DR: under no circumstances should you play the fool’s errand that is the lottery.
scotchnaut

Counterpoint: $1.2B powerball jackpot!
BrettFavresColonoscopy

You’re kidding, right?
scotchnaut

/crosses scotchnaut off of list of people to give money to after I win the lottery
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/ray-guy-dies-at-72-raiders-legend-first-punter-inducted-into-pro-football-hall-of-fame-passes-away/

At his visitation and service, his coffin will be placed in the corner.
Redshirt

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I have been farting around with our olive tree for nearly 20 years. To get 3-4 jars of green dinky olives in a good year, frequently nothing. This past summer was the hottest, driest that I can recall. Bumper crop this year. My pizza will have home grown through the spring.

2Pack

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So while I have Prime,,its not available for me there but TSN has it. So strange
Game Time Decision

Bezos hates Canadia.
WCS

Bezos didn’t think he needed Canadia. That was his first mistake.

-My Bezos obituary
scotchnaut

Price of a flashlight:

Amazon: US$10.00

Amazon.ca: C$100.00
Brick Meathook

If you could spell ‘fleshlight’ properly, that’d be great. And proper.
scotchnaut

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Jalen is boring his mama
King Hippo

Definitely misread that at first.
WCS

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So I got a unscheduled very small raise yesterday out of the blue. I said to my boss, “I have been off on medical leave for 3 months?”

“Well, it’s not like you killed someone. If you weren’t doin a good job obviously you would get nothing.” (He is french and I burst out laughing)

It is apparently because I am so low in the salary bracket for my peers due to being promoted only 2 years ago that he wants to play catch up with me and my peer in Vancouver.

I told him that I plan to leave in 3 1/2 years. He laughed and said “We will see about that mon frere.”

Very weird day.
litre_cola

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THIS SHARKBAIT I CALL HIM MARLEE MATLIN BECAUSE HE TRIES TO FUNCTION WITHOUT HEERING BUT IT JUST ENDS UP AWKWARD FOR EVERYONE
SonOfSpam

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Brocky

WCS

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Mrs. Cornblower: (perusing the Book of Face). “Wow, my friend Michelle had 9 puppies!”

Me: “Your friend Michelle is a fucking freak.”
Horatio Cornblower

At least we know what position Michelle prefers.
SonOfSpam

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In 2020, the Phoenix Coyotes drafted a player who had spent years bullying and directing racial slurs at a disabled classmate, culminating in a conviction in juvenile court. Phoenix knew of this, but drafted him anyway, because they’re a trash organization, but then backed down and disclaimed his rights when it became a controversy.

This shithead was signed by an NHL team today. What kind of a scumbag organization would sign someone like that, you ask? What kind of a fanbase would tolerate overt racism from….

ok, yeah, you’ve all figured it out by now. It was Boston. Just in case I didn’t hate the Bruins enough.
Dunstan

Maybe he’s matured and seen the error of his ways.

And maybe I’m a size 4.
SonOfSpam

“Wouldn’t be the first time a guy lied to me about his size.” – Deanna F.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I’m so drunk/tired/high. I’ll tell you, after spending 10 days in a hospital bed in late September, my bed and the fuckton of pillows wifey insists on having is the most comfy place in all possible scotchverse’s.
scotchnaut

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Just saw the stoppage time penalty on DeBruyne. Here it is for anyone who hasn’t caught it yet.

Fronkenshteen

I am still murderous.
litre_cola

“I used to be murderous. I still am, but I used to be, too.” – scotchnaut
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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GG’s comment reminded me about a story the father of an ex told me. When they moved into a new house (the negotiations were difficult because said father was a difficult, odd man*) the previous owners removed all the light bulbs and on/off light fixtures from the house. That’s Next Level petty.

while ex was driving he said-I was there-“Ex’s name!!*, don’t pass a tractor trailer, a woman in Toronto died from a flying hubcap two weeks ago. Did you not read that in the news?”

**ex has a very distinctive name and has been on CBC several times as ‘a Senators fan/expert’

/that guy made the most amazing biryani you could ever have-he put potatoes and beef marrow and cardamom and some other things in it. The next day with a sunny-side up egg? Fucking Heaven.
scotchnaut

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I may not be wearing a poppy, but I am showing my Remembrance Day spirit with ass tons of opium (FUCK does my neck hurt today)
King Hippo

In Flanders’ Fields, the poppies grow,
to soothe King Hippo from his woe
like his sore neck; and on his phone
his fingers, still bravely typing, moan
about disappointing Everton, on DFO.
Dunstan

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Um, Northwestern? I was told their program lacks direction. (it’s right there in the name, after all)
scotchnaut

Uh actually ‘western’ is a conjunctivying adverb with rising gerund tendencies, not a real direction.
herodotus450

Who wants to beat up a nerd?
scotchnaut

I don’t want to be pedantic, but nerd implies he’s scientifically obnoxious, and clearly he’s a grammar Nazi.
Gumbygirl

“Please have him contact me so I can make him a verified Twitter user. Oh, wait, I missed the ‘grammar’ part. Never mind.” — Elon Musk
Dunstan

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Is Steely Dan the best ever band that’s named after a sex toy? I say yes.
herodotus450

I believe Horatio would take exception to this as there is a punk rock band named The Dwarves.
Mr. Ayo

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uh oh pic.twitter.com/aOk6s6bi4D

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) November 5, 2022

Bob Costas from Basketball: “Wow, the Lord must really have it in for this guy.”
Redshirt

That’s okay…Dr Oz (speaking at a Nazi Trump rally) told the crowd to call 10 people each tomorrow before the Steelers game to encourage them to vote.

It’s the Steelers’ bye week.
SonOfSpam

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So, Aaron Carter, huh.

I wonder if Shaquille O’Neal’s said anything yet.
Senor Weaselo

Todd Marinovich assures us that he was in no way involved with the sale of the drugs that caused Aaron’s demise.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Just because he was an addict and only 34 and they found him in the bathtub doesn’t mean it was drugs, although it was definitely drugs.
SonOfSpam

“See, Olivia! I told you baths were dangerous!” – Elisha
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Preach child”

-W. Houston and/or her daughter
SonOfSpam

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Happy CFL Playoffs Sunday, folks. Time to enter the damn dojo. (And pretend Iike I’m going to have a productive marking day.)

The Maestro

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Who has 2 thumbs and is currently tailgating at Little Danny’s Cesspool and fitbawl venue? This guy!
LemonJello

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Came home last night to find an entire pizza left on my doorstep. It was ice cold, so presumably had been misdelivered hours ago. This presented me with quite the moral dilemma. Heat up a slice or eat it cold?

If any of you decided to poison me, congratulations, you succeeded. But I’m going with the assumption that it’s a gift from Gumbygirl because I’m her favorite.
Dunstan

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So thats probably the fastest Stafford’s moved all day
Recovery Whiskey

They’re surprisingly quick on land.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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SEAN MCVAY: If you don’t see anything open, don’t try to be a hero. Just eat the ball. Got it?

MATT STAFFORD: I was born for this.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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We have about 5 rookie of the year candidates
Recovery Whiskey

-Balls, at the AVN awards
scotchnaut

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THIS TITANS RECEIVING CORPS I CALL IT DR. MRS. DEADLY ESQ’S (RET) COLLECTION OF VACUUM CLEANERS BECAUSE HOO BOY DO THEY SUCK!!!
Horatio Cornblower

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When I elected Evil Overlord, whenever you vote early, your personal identification/currency/punishment will indicate that to the television, so when it plays a political ad, all you see and hear on the screen is a small brook flowing in the forest.
Redshirt

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So I was looking for my old Derrick henry gif, and I found this in my bookmarks:

Brocky

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Fun fact: Skyy Moore was named after the vodka because it was heavily involved the night he was conceived.
ballsofsteelandfury

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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