Instant Hippo Thoughts – 2022 Season, Divisional Round

I suppose nothing qualified as bananacakes, but hey – except for the Saturday late show, it was compelling viewing.  At least for me.

Good news for Kansas City – y’all get to host the AFC Title match after all!  Bad news, you might have to start Chad Henne.  Good luck finding enough old East German steroids to pump into Mahomes next week.

Because they’ll need to score – Team WKRP has truly taken on the personality of their quartered back.  Cool like the other side of the pillow, and overflowing with EARNED confidence.  As I mentioned to my Bengals-supporting little brother, being simultaneously the most physical and most intelligent team is a winning formula.  Who knows how much of the gameplan was audibled-on-the-fly due to the most glorious lake effect snow, but it worked like a charm.

Beatie Mixon hit the Bills’ defensive front like a sledgehammer, over and over.  Burrow made mostly quick throws, and when they took WELL-TIMED, infrequent shots downfield?  He went through his reads at warp speed.  But the most important thing was getting their myriad playmakers in space.  You don’t want, as a defender, to make quick, reactive shifts on a snowy field.  And by the time Q4 rolled around, Buffalo’s defense was gassed.

Cincinnati dominated time of possession, and didn’t try to rush anything.  Buffalo/Allen couldn’t keep themselves contained, and hit on 16 too often to survive.  They also continued NOT to really use their (legitimately, quite good) RBs, which allowed Cincy to get pressure all day.  But give that defensive front seven credit – they’ve shown up loaded for bear this January.  27-10 was your final.

Transitioning into Tomsulas/Non-Gendered Cowpersons, we will see a theme continue:

I worried that Purdy Mouth might be in for a long day, after a rough opening quarter.  But coach and QB stayed calm, made a few big conversions, bled the clock like the Bengals done, and let Dallas shoot themselves in the foot.  As they did with 2 bad pickerceptions, another Bill Maher missed (blocked, but was a bad kick regardless) extra point, and two lazy fuckups by Seargent Schultz on the last gasp desperation drive.  Hilariously, their too-clever-by-half gadget play with 6 seconds resulted in a 5-yard completion.  Immediately tackled, with nary a lateral even ATTEMPTED.  Tomulas 19, N-GCp 12.

Ladies and gentlemen, Cap’n BlueBunny.

We know which fanbase will React Reasonably throughout the week.  Mahomes is now the oldest starting QB in the Final Four…unless Henne has to go!

Philly hosting Santa Clara will be a particularly fascinating chess match (Janeane just might be active, though surely in a backup capacity).  I really don’t know what to expect there.  Be careful betting too much based on the previous week’s trends – it wouldn’t surprise me for the Chefs to ball out on defense, and/or the Tomsulas make it a track meet with the Iggles.  Which is why we watch.  Can’t fucking wait!