INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The PRODUCER is seated at the sound board, cheerfully adjusting the various knobs and sliders. DJ 3000 remains pushed up against the wall, with an “Order Out of” sign hanging from his main console.
— [DOOR FLIES OPEN] —
PRODUCER: Oh, FUCK!
The PRODUCER leaps out of his chair and pushes it towards JERRY RICHARDSON. The chair rolls to a stop as the PRODUCER backs away, looking frantically around the office.
PRODUCER: Fuck, fuck, FUCK. Oh, goddamnit, oh, fuck, how do you kill zombies? I knew I shouldn’t have stopped watching The Walking Dead after eight seasons of the same exact crap!
The PRODUCER spots a souvenir Saints helmet left over from the time Drew Brees hosted, and pulls it on. Unable to locate a more suitable weapon, he picks up a microphone tripod and holds it over his shoulder like a baseball bat.
PRODUCER: Stay the fuck back!
JERRY RICHARDSON throws his head back and erupts in laughter.
JERRY RICHARDSON: Oh, mercy. Relax, boy! I’m not gonna eat your brains.
PRODUCER: You’re not a zombie?
JERRY RICHARDSON: Do zombies talk?
PRODUCER: Sometimes.
JERRY RICHARDSON: No they don’t.
PRODUCER: They did in Return of the Living Dead. And Return of the Living Dead Part II.
JERRY RICHARDSON: Okay, well, they ain’t done no talkin’ in any of the zombie movies I ever seen.
PRODUCER: You haven’t seen any of the Evil Dead movies?
JERRY RICHARDSON: Yeah, but those ain’t zombies.
PRODUCER: Well what are they, then?
JERRY RICHARDSON: I dunno, but they ain’t zombies. And I ain’t a zombie either, boy.
The PRODUCER slowly lowers the tripod.
PRODUCER: Okay, prove it.
JERRY RICHARDSON: How the fuck do I prove I’m not a zombie?
PRODUCER: Um, don’t eat my brain.
JERRY RICHARDSON: [holds up his hands] Done.
PRODUCER: Tell you what? Go in the recording booth and close the door behind you.
JERRY RICHARDSON shrugs, and walks across the room, letting himself into the recording booth. As he settles his bulk behind the desk, the PRODUCER races across the room and locks the recording booth door.
PRODUCER: Ha ha, gotcha!
JERRY RICHARDSON: You know if I were a zombie I’d just crash through the glass and getcha, right?
PRODUCER: Yeah, well…please don’t do that. It’s a special kind of glass and it’s very expensive.
JERRY RICHARDSON: You don’t have to worry about that, I don’t want to cut my face all up, make the missus cry at my funeral.
PRODUCER: Yeah, so like, how are you here, what with being dead and all?
JERRY RICHARDSON: Oh, I’m not dead. I’m still very much alive.
PRODUCER: What? No, you died on Wednesday.
JERRY RICHARDSON: Yeah, see, this here computer – DJ 3000, he calls himself – said he could use some kinda time loop thing to change my reference frame. So for you it’s March 3, but for me it’s February 28 and I’m still alive and breathing.
PRODUCER: But you know that you’re going to die tomorrow…um…tomorrow in your frame of reference.
JERRY RICHARDSON: That’s right. But I thought hosting an edition of Request Line might be a fun way to say farewell, and get people to remember me a little more fondly than they otherwise might be inclined to.
PRODUCER: Oh. Well, sure. We can do that. Have you got a topic for us?
JERRY RICHARDSON: I surely do. I thought today’s topic would be “Songs of the South”. I’d like to hear songs that pay tribute to the greatest nation on Earth – the Confederate States of America.
PRODUCER: Ah. I see. And you think playing music that glorifies the instigators of a civil war that led to more dead Americans than almost all other wars combined would lead people to remember you more fondly.
JERRY RICHARDSON: Well…maybe it’ll at least distract ’em a little bit. From the, uh…other stuff.
PRODUCER: Got something to start us off with?
JERRY RICHARDSON: Sure enough. Let’s get one started by the Godfathers of Southern Rock themselves. Can’t wait to see if these fellas ended up goin’ to the same place I’m headed.
Today’s theme is: Songs of the South. We’re looking for songs about the American South – both its merits and its ills. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tH3_dU4L!tY” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. The puzzle song last week was “Shine Like It Does” by INXS, posted by SonOfSpam but claimed by BeefReeferLives.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7sjOoDhN_U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LWXnffcjLk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKw7AgcIEJY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H780rt6O8sI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UyizBSk4-4
“Biscayne Bay
Where the Cuban gentlemen sleep all day”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImtdntJQfSs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye5BuYf8q4o
cant belive this ones not up yet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82VnutYBh9k
double shot
It would have been the header song except I know that Peter King has complained about “That Smell”, so I had to run with it.
Turn it up.
This guy gets it (there is not-nice language in this song)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMc6YdO6zTg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-jN49rQoLI
Beausoleil, mes amies!
https://youtu.be/kSTHT0JPLrM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-b9H91QFvY
Song of the South? Wasn’t there a Disn–
Instantly chloroformed by a mouse
Early sexy druggie James Taylor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBpKI59jGGw&ab_channel=JamesTaylor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUyjeiWz_6c
Song about the south performed in the south by dirty foreigners
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIfQipkkOqs&ab_channel=TheRollingStones
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1n-2vgbk6w4
They were so fucking good!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbP4qf8PjfI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-qK7oVXVRQ
Went on to star in the best show of the last 50 years. Mama’s Family.
“The judge decreed it, the clerk he wrote it.
Clerk he wrote it down indeed-e
Judge decreed it, clerk he wrote it down
Give you this jail sentence you’ll be Nashville bound”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dO7f7HeD_Dc
I’m not a big metal fan, but this is my friend Josh Isely’s band. He’s the singer, bass player, and writes all of the songs. They have been around for years, based out of Birmingham, but they have toured the country many times, have recorded a bunch of albums, and have opened for a lot of big time acts. Josh is like a son to us, we met him in around 2006, he was a good friend of our son. I miss him!
https://youtu.be/EHHaR484evU
Puzzle answer ON PURPOSE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MIztbe1_e8
Eh, good enough, I guess. This was what I was actually looking for, but there’s no way to make the distinction so you can chalk this up as a win.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IW7Pd9NoYg
Sounds like another Participation ribbon.
[glances forlornly at a wall full of them] – Horatio’s dwarf
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kh6K_-a0c4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QC-eDtV5O0Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DX8ICzDhs4M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5KEQ-sC6vg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBl2G8Bd-aI
This man never saw any racism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggGzE5KfCio
Here’s a song of the south from Song of the South which totally wasn’t racist you woke snowflakes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bWyhj7siEY
Two Foghorns Up!
Everything is satisfactual!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3QpBCRiUcI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qx1LqnIJLj8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bx6f68Wd9dc
lol Warrant moar liek Wokent
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gg9cNGHl-bg&ab_channel=STAGES
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=953PkxFNiko
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTR13MV4fqc
DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_K_-D5B7DIg
Tried to post the country version of “Duality” (originally by Slipknot) cover by Melton Alexander, but is in approval limbo.
Is that the one you’re looking for, RTD?
https://www.tiktok.com/@melton.alexander/video/6863632169454046470
A worthy guess, but no, that’s not it.
Well, shucks…
number teh segundo:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ25-U3jNWM
This the one, RTD?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXpF5RFA4ug
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjFEnU82jjc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=po8RCVlQZGc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGkQ4mPiyoU
Beautiful. Shame he’s such a douche.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0mNZe472KM
From same album:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCCqeHm5VDY
“Well, I’m standing on the corner of Lafayette
State of Louisiana
Wondering where a city boy could go
To get a little conversation
Drink a little red wine
Catch a little bit of those Cajun girls
Dancing to Zydeco”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJax0np7dWg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvaEJzoaYZk
Du Hast (you hate)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5HAEzEk8QM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1AT3NThCP0
Oxford town in the afternoon
Everybody’s singin’ a sorrowful tune
Two men died ‘neath the Mississippi moon
Somebody better investigate soon.
/desperately hoping to avoid BWP status…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEKMED-_2QQ
Double shot?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBjPAqmnvGA
Great fiddle player and a garbage human.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1SLYttJ4wg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yr1Qe2m8oOA&ab_channel=BeastieBoysVEVO
The segue of these two songs is flawless.
Early hip hop is so smooth like that.
Start off with a double shot…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVwCAK-dyBo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZtvV-757NU
Man, that first album cover belongs on our album art edition:
https://doorfliesopen.com/2021/09/03/request-line-weekend-at-zuernies-part-6-promotional-art/
Oh hell yes, Commander Cody!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKu0OTDvQ-w
Do the lyrics of this song have anything to do with Southern culture? Who knows! But its title certainly does!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdphvuyaV_I
FIRST NAME “BILLY” PLUS LAST NAME [NOUN] DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Web007rzSOI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DQXxCfIS2w&ab_channel=BruceSpringsteenVEVO
Yankee band performing a song about South Carolina in Great Britain.
I’ll be your Tennessee lamb!
https://youtu.be/3z-GwdaKrn8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhSzuhdIkuE
For our lovely neighbours to the nourth
https://youtu.be/m5FCcDEA6mY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VCdJyOAQYM