INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The PRODUCER is seated at the sound board, cheerfully adjusting the various knobs and sliders.  DJ 3000 remains pushed up against the wall, with an “Order Out of” sign hanging from his main console.  

— [DOOR FLIES OPEN] —

PRODUCER: Oh, FUCK!

The PRODUCER leaps out of his chair and pushes it towards JERRY RICHARDSON.  The chair rolls to a stop as the PRODUCER backs away, looking frantically around the office.

PRODUCER: Fuck, fuck, FUCK.  Oh, goddamnit, oh, fuck, how do you kill zombies? I knew I shouldn’t have stopped watching The Walking Dead after eight seasons of the same exact crap!

The PRODUCER spots a souvenir Saints helmet left over from the time Drew Brees hosted, and pulls it on.  Unable to locate a more suitable weapon, he picks up a microphone tripod and holds it over his shoulder like a baseball bat. 

PRODUCER: Stay the fuck back!

JERRY RICHARDSON throws his head back and erupts in laughter.

JERRY RICHARDSON: Oh, mercy.  Relax, boy!  I’m not gonna eat your brains.

PRODUCER: You’re not a zombie?

JERRY RICHARDSON: Do zombies talk?

PRODUCER: Sometimes.

JERRY RICHARDSON: No they don’t.

PRODUCER: They did in Return of the Living Dead.  And Return of the Living Dead Part II.

JERRY RICHARDSON: Okay, well, they ain’t done no talkin’ in any of the zombie movies I ever seen.

PRODUCER: You haven’t seen any of the Evil Dead movies?

JERRY RICHARDSON: Yeah, but those ain’t zombies.

PRODUCER: Well what are they, then?

JERRY RICHARDSON: I dunno, but they ain’t zombies. And I ain’t a zombie either, boy.

The PRODUCER slowly lowers the tripod.

PRODUCER: Okay, prove it.

JERRY RICHARDSON: How the fuck do I prove I’m not a zombie?

PRODUCER: Um, don’t eat my brain.

JERRY RICHARDSON: [holds up his hands] Done.

PRODUCER: Tell you what? Go in the recording booth and close the door behind you.

JERRY RICHARDSON shrugs, and walks across the room, letting himself into the recording booth.  As he settles his bulk behind the desk, the PRODUCER races across the room and locks the recording booth door.

PRODUCER: Ha ha, gotcha!

JERRY RICHARDSON: You know if I were a zombie I’d just crash through the glass and getcha, right?

PRODUCER: Yeah, well…please don’t do that. It’s a special kind of glass and it’s very expensive.

JERRY RICHARDSON: You don’t have to worry about that, I don’t want to cut my face all up, make the missus cry at my funeral.

PRODUCER: Yeah, so like, how are you here, what with being dead and all?

JERRY RICHARDSON: Oh, I’m not dead. I’m still very much alive.

PRODUCER: What? No, you died on Wednesday.

JERRY RICHARDSON: Yeah, see, this here computer – DJ 3000, he calls himself – said he could use some kinda time loop thing to change my reference frame.  So for you it’s March 3, but for me it’s February 28 and I’m still alive and breathing.

PRODUCER: But you know that you’re going to die tomorrow…um…tomorrow in your frame of reference.

JERRY RICHARDSON: That’s right.  But I thought hosting an edition of Request Line might be a fun way to say farewell, and get people to remember me a little more fondly than they otherwise might be inclined to.

PRODUCER: Oh.  Well, sure.  We can do that.  Have you got a topic for us?

JERRY RICHARDSON: I surely do.  I thought today’s topic would be “Songs of the South”.  I’d like to hear songs that pay tribute to the greatest nation on Earth – the Confederate States of America.

PRODUCER: Ah.  I see.  And you think playing music that glorifies the instigators of a civil war that led to more dead Americans than almost all other wars combined would lead people to remember you more fondly.

JERRY RICHARDSON: Well…maybe it’ll at least distract ’em a little bit.  From the, uh…other stuff.

PRODUCER: Got something to start us off with?

JERRY RICHARDSON: Sure enough.  Let’s get one started by the Godfathers of Southern Rock themselves. Can’t wait to see if these fellas ended up goin’ to the same place I’m headed.

Today’s theme is: Songs of the South.  We’re looking for songs about the American South – both its merits and its ills.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tH3_dU4L!tY” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. The puzzle song last week was “Shine Like It Does” by INXS, posted by SonOfSpam but claimed by BeefReeferLives.