INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The PRODUCER is seated at the sound board, cheerfully adjusting the various knobs and sliders. DJ 3000 remains pushed up against the wall, with an “Order Out of” sign hanging from his main console.
— [DOOR FLIES OPEN] —
PRODUCER: Oh, FUCK!
The PRODUCER leaps out of his chair and pushes it towards JERRY RICHARDSON. The chair rolls to a stop as the PRODUCER backs away, looking frantically around the office.
PRODUCER: Fuck, fuck, FUCK. Oh, goddamnit, oh, fuck, how do you kill zombies? I knew I shouldn’t have stopped watching The Walking Dead after eight seasons of the same exact crap!
The PRODUCER spots a souvenir Saints helmet left over from the time Drew Brees hosted, and pulls it on. Unable to locate a more suitable weapon, he picks up a microphone tripod and holds it over his shoulder like a baseball bat.
PRODUCER: Stay the fuck back!
JERRY RICHARDSON throws his head back and erupts in laughter.
JERRY RICHARDSON: Oh, mercy. Relax, boy! I’m not gonna eat your brains.
PRODUCER: You’re not a zombie?
JERRY RICHARDSON: Do zombies talk?
PRODUCER: Sometimes.
JERRY RICHARDSON: No they don’t.
PRODUCER: They did in Return of the Living Dead. And Return of the Living Dead Part II.
JERRY RICHARDSON: Okay, well, they ain’t done no talkin’ in any of the zombie movies I ever seen.
PRODUCER: You haven’t seen any of the Evil Dead movies?
JERRY RICHARDSON: Yeah, but those ain’t zombies.
PRODUCER: Well what are they, then?
JERRY RICHARDSON: I dunno, but they ain’t zombies. And I ain’t a zombie either, boy.
The PRODUCER slowly lowers the tripod.
PRODUCER: Okay, prove it.
JERRY RICHARDSON: How the fuck do I prove I’m not a zombie?
PRODUCER: Um, don’t eat my brain.
JERRY RICHARDSON: [holds up his hands] Done.
PRODUCER: Tell you what? Go in the recording booth and close the door behind you.
JERRY RICHARDSON shrugs, and walks across the room, letting himself into the recording booth. As he settles his bulk behind the desk, the PRODUCER races across the room and locks the recording booth door.
PRODUCER: Ha ha, gotcha!
JERRY RICHARDSON: You know if I were a zombie I’d just crash through the glass and getcha, right?
PRODUCER: Yeah, well…please don’t do that. It’s a special kind of glass and it’s very expensive.
JERRY RICHARDSON: You don’t have to worry about that, I don’t want to cut my face all up, make the missus cry at my funeral.
PRODUCER: Yeah, so like, how are you here, what with being dead and all?
JERRY RICHARDSON: Oh, I’m not dead. I’m still very much alive.
PRODUCER: What? No, you died on Wednesday.
JERRY RICHARDSON: Yeah, see, this here computer – DJ 3000, he calls himself – said he could use some kinda time loop thing to change my reference frame. So for you it’s March 3, but for me it’s February 28 and I’m still alive and breathing.
PRODUCER: But you know that you’re going to die tomorrow…um…tomorrow in your frame of reference.
JERRY RICHARDSON: That’s right. But I thought hosting an edition of Request Line might be a fun way to say farewell, and get people to remember me a little more fondly than they otherwise might be inclined to.
PRODUCER: Oh. Well, sure. We can do that. Have you got a topic for us?
JERRY RICHARDSON: I surely do. I thought today’s topic would be “Songs of the South”. I’d like to hear songs that pay tribute to the greatest nation on Earth – the Confederate States of America.
PRODUCER: Ah. I see. And you think playing music that glorifies the instigators of a civil war that led to more dead Americans than almost all other wars combined would lead people to remember you more fondly.
JERRY RICHARDSON: Well…maybe it’ll at least distract ’em a little bit. From the, uh…other stuff.
PRODUCER: Got something to start us off with?
JERRY RICHARDSON: Sure enough. Let’s get one started by the Godfathers of Southern Rock themselves. Can’t wait to see if these fellas ended up goin’ to the same place I’m headed.
Today’s theme is: Songs of the South. We’re looking for songs about the American South – both its merits and its ills. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tH3_dU4L!tY” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. The puzzle song last week was “Shine Like It Does” by INXS, posted by SonOfSpam but claimed by BeefReeferLives.
Bit of tongue in cheek here…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-iCCU_7nPg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnKOVPXhlnE
[is now hungry]
Drop the mic it’s a walk off.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4S1Q1vfngA
Classic song by a fun band
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVOJXUBWTRI&ab_channel=joespubfan
R.I.P Michael
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCykwYOZyXI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWSeAgwAvi4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLuCGiVSTCE
Heeeeere’s Bob
https://youtu.be/5WS-TTNaLyg
Fart. But hey, this is an alternate take!
It gets harder to check when there’s two pages of poasts.
Thank you for enabling me, my dear beefy boy! You’re my favorite, don’t tell the others.
Ya’ll seriously left Dixieland Delight?
https://youtu.be/Xqgr7R4zUMg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvyMUWxNKcg
From the “Live in Texas” album to boot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JogNZfR0mWQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qB8gzljQgLs
“Great topic, Rikki!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IbyOmZYSkg
I have once again seen zero Hank Williams Jr
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cQNkIrg-Tk
The Republican party seems to have taken the lyrics to this song and made it their entire personality
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_2D8Eo15wE
The comment under this one sez ” The singer looks like he has the ability to turn water into weed. ” Lol!
Never noticed how attractive Ned Beatty was until I heard this song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myhnAZFR1po&ab_channel=davidandbroliath
He shore gotta purdy mouth
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uod0TJCp_TU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnoQ_7-fcTY
THis song came on the moment I got my letter about acceptance to a college in Mississippi
Im trying to do ctrl f for this song
https://youtu.be/km4-eKvv3EM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nke_kEh68SE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYR4vDBzRGU
Kick ass tune
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4syA9aNnNa0
Sorry don’t like C.S.N
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9CgMAT2ybc
Trying to figure out which DFO kharacter would be into a capella.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5ekQGI4_mc
Holy crap, that is really good. Suck that Buffett
That a capella group was actually started by (among others) some guys who went to my high school. It’s pretty neat to see that they’re still around 30 years later.
I’m not scrolling through, how many times has Mississippi Queen been Blair Witched?
Zero, actually.
Shameful
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEnF6EB-yMs
Well, it’s been Witched* now!
*that’s what the youths today call it
THIS IS WHY I ASKED
Yes, and ZERO meant that it hadn’t been REPEATED yet.
Deano, with his love for country…
https://youtu.be/4Rt1VicF5-0
Should have played the original but this is a pretty good cover.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndEQ1hnYj0Y
Ain’t no Vols fan, but this shit is SUTHern.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJNU7YqTBks&ab_channel=VintageMusicHub
You ever see UT play at home? By the end of the game this song will make you wish you were dead.
This is true even watching it on TV, can only imagine how much worse it is live.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGKatCAQed0
By the way, I should mention this before I forget – Eli Manning is FURIOUS that we didn’t include the Goonies theme song two weeks ago. I’ve never seen him this mad about anything before.
Dave Grohl and Norah Jones should do this more often
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plXjq-80zb0&ab_channel=FooFighters-Topic
“Do what now?” – Dave Grohl’s wife
She could join in I guess
“Big Brazos, here I come
You know I’m gonna do time for another man
When there hasn’t been a thing poor lightnin’ done”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlW2n-mk-c4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yd60nI4sa9A
Almost Blair Witch’d this
Me too, damn that man can play!
Well he had a little demonic help
You can have it too, just reach into the dark
For the last time, I’m not pulling that golf ball our of your ass.
You have to ask the gerbil to move first!
OUTLAW COUNTRY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QAEmCuBnck&ab_channel=WhenTheCowboySings
Can’t believe this one remains
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqgE__H3JAM
I saw a list some moron put out recently, and this was number one on their top 10 worst Zeppelin songs. What the fuck? Your ears are broke, shithead. This is a banger!
This is correct.
Worst Zep songs would be a tough and short list for me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtLvlaGJJEU
Such an upbeat little tune
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXYFMdQtu44
Total Southern band, you can hear the Dixie in their sound
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SOryJvTAGs
rock lobsters are every bit as much of a southern food as hominy grits, ppl forget that
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_pSMi9xbaQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkyM7E1HrdQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGRKkxoh_Q0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvMS_ykiLiQ&ab_channel=Michele%C2%B2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HJCN3upMHE
A song about one thing I most definitely do NOT miss about living in the south…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSQhjUXQNPE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I07249JX8w4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncXZFXQ4LL0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkzTRGPJAJY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcSyE_0DNX8
Let’s make this list more dope by at least 15%
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drsQLEU0N1Y&ab_channel=OutkastVEVO
Josh Gordon has entered the chat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zAThXFOy2c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amVgG7u-8mM
I love these old blues guys!
Discovered this killer tune as the overture here:
https://popdose.com/popdose-conceptual-theater-7-faces-of-doctor-lao/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BR4-spaE1AQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iv_gXt1cCI8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibWkp7OFB_A
Ha! Was just coming to post Proud Mary, I’ll go with Tina’s cover instead (she was born in Tennessee).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2T5_seDNZE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IjPmIEgeIU