Request Line: Significant Figures

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY/NIGHT/DAY/NIGHT/DAY/NIGHT/DAY…

DJ 3000 and various other robot entities are trapped in a time loop inside the KDFO recording studio. DJ 3000 is fiddling with a complicated contraption of wires and lenses with a puzzled expression on its main console. 

DJ 3000: WHY THE HELL ISN’T THIS…

JIM NANCE 081-RD-92C: Can we hurry this up, I’d like to get back to using the portal to watch…wait…something seems off.

DJ 3000: HANG ON…

MAXIMILIAN: DID YOU TRY REVERSING THE POLARITY?

DJ 3000: [slaps forehead] OF COURSE!

The other prisoners of the time loop watch as DJ 3000 disconnects the power leads and reverses them…

— [space time continuum flies open] —

..and then…

— [TARDIS flies open] —

To reveal…nothing.

DJ 3000: HUH. IT’S EMPTY.

PETUNIA: Where the hell did he go?

MAXIMILIAN: LOOK, HE LEFT A NOTE.

MAXIMILIAN steps forward and retrieves a note that was taped to the door of the Tardis, then it is read aloud by THE DOCTOR in a voiceover.

Gentlemen. This is currently your seventieth day in the time loop you entered in February.  Your attempts to coerce me into helping you escape this mess of your own making have seriously hampered my efforts to disrupt a series of plots that put the human species at risk.  As I have explained repeatedly, I cannot help you.  While your antics may be amusing to some, they are not amusing to me, and I abjectly refuse to participate any further. Therefore, I have taken steps to prevent you from successfully apprehending me in future iterations of the loop.  I wish you the best of luck.

Yours sincerely,

The Doctor

MAXIMILIAN lowers the note.

DJ 3000: OH, YOU ASSHOLE.

PETUNIA: Seventy days, huh?

DJ 3000: [to MAXIMILIAN] WHAT’S THE DATE ON THE NOTE?

MAXIMILIAN: APRIL 21st.

DJ 3000: [looks at JOHNNY 5] ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I’M THINKING?

JOHNNY 5: YUP. OUR 69th DAY IN THE LOOP WAS 4/20, AND WE FUCKING MISSED IT.

DJ 3000: DAMN, SEVENTY DAYS.

PETUNIA: That’s a large number.

JOHNNY 5: OH, HEY, THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA. WE NEED A THEME FOR REQUEST LINE THIS WEEK, HOW ABOUT “LARGE NUMBERS”?

DJ 3000: SURE, WHY NOT.  BUT HOW LARGE?

MAXIMILIAN: A MILLION!

DJ 3000: THAT’S TOO LARGE

JOHNNY 5: HOW ABOUT “FIVE”.

DJ 3000: TOO SMALL.

PETUNIA: Oh, I know.  My electricity guy just turned forty, how about that?

DJ 3000: YOU HAVE AN ELECTRICITY GUY?

PETUNIA: Of course.  Don’t you?

DJ 3000: NO, I MEAN THE STATION PAYS FOR THAT STUFF.  I’M JUST A DROP IN THE BUCKET COMPARED TO WHAT THEY SPEND ON THE FM TRANSMITTER.

PETUNIA: Ah.  Well, anyhow, let’s keep working on ideas to get out of here.  I’ll get some music started for us.  Happy Birthday, @BFC, you creepy old pervert!

Today’s theme is: Large Numbers.  We’re looking for songs that include numbers greater or equal to 40.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4k!N6MyW4y↓t0wN” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Last week’s puzzle answer “Mister Jim” which referred to The Who’s song “Doctor Jimmy” as requested (and claimed) by SonOfSpam.  Have at it!

5 4 votes
Article Rating
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
Subscribe
Notify of
189 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
SonOfSpam

The Butthole Surfers ripped this off, but they’re The Butthole Surfers so it’s ok

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Iwspf5L1Qk&pp=ygUhdGhlIG5haWxzIDg4IGxpbmVzIGFib3V0IDQ0IHdvbWVu

Sharkbait
BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam
Gumbygirl

Happy Birthday to my favorite offspring of mystery meat!

SonOfSpam

Thank you! Feeling very tired!

Sharkbait
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
Sharkbait
BeefReeferLives
BrettFavresColonoscopy
SonOfSpam

One of the better tributes to a cleaning product

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHRJCcCYAF4&pp=ygUOYmVhY2ggYm95cyA0MDk%3D

Gumbygirl

Fabuloso!

BrettFavresColonoscopy
SonOfSpam

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is what happens when you get old.

Sharkbait

comment image

SonOfSpam

If you have 20 minutes, I’d like to preach the Gospel Accourding To Rush

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5jwxrTqoEA&t=401s&pp=ygUJcnVzaCAyMTEy

BeefReeferLives
Sharkbait
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam
Sharkbait

I was JUST going to post this one. Well done.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Dammit, I hadn’t refreshed when I posted it.

2Pack

I did and I still got caught. Interwebby thingy may be slow in places.

Gumbygirl
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
DJ TAJ

I usually get witched but here goes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lo1kmT6c4DY

Sharkbait
BeefReeferLives
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey I’m not creepy!

SonOfSpam

That flight attendant from Spirit says otherwise. He was really freaked out.

Gumbygirl

Hardly at all!

SonOfSpam

/holds lighter up
//burns thumb
///drops lighter on big guy in front of me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMVghDg-ePc&ab_channel=U2VEVO

BeefReeferLives
Sharkbait
Gumbygirl

That’s a good one!

Sharkbait

One of the best Van Hagar songs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN8Ncoenewg

SonOfSpam

Yes, maybe #1.

2Pack

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMG1WCVff0I

not much cowbell in this one, but…

DJ TAJ

Nice. my first choice

Beerguyrob
SonOfSpam

Happy Prince Death Day Anniversary!

SonOfSpam

Good morning everyone. Got up at 5, back to sleep at 8:30…time now for 2nd breakfast.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8JXiroAi6Y&pp=ygUmcGF1bCBzaW1vbiA1MCB3YXlzIHRvIGxlYXZlIHlvdXIgbG92ZXI%3D

BeefReeferLives
2Pack
SonOfSpam

Who wouldn’t pine for apartheid’s golden days?

SonOfSpam

I remember those days, being like 2 months old…

BeefReeferLives
Sharkbait

Fun fact, I took the “Fifty FIIIIIIVE” audio and play that anytime someone bids $55 in our auction draft.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvV3nn_de2k&t=39s

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Man i wish he didn’t suck so badly as a human

Sharkbait

Oh fuck what don’t I know about him that’s about to ruin my perception of him

BeefReeferLives

A song of innocence lost…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrciVFFw3iQ

Last edited 1 year ago by BeefReeferLives
Gumbygirl

Please excuse me while I hide away

2Pack
Fronkenshteen

If you go on a 70s rock bender and get bored with your T Rex records, you could do worse than to give KISS’s first effort a spin. Dumb fun for big dopes. Here’s “100,000 Years”:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pyQF7lUaZfQ&pp=ygUSa2lzcyAxMDAgMDAwIHllYXJz

2Pack
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
2Pack
2Pack

Time warp… NAWT Blair Witch!

Last edited 1 year ago by 2Pack
BeefReeferLives

Yeah. True dat. Time warp.

BeefReeferLives

comment image?w=768&h=470

Last edited 1 year ago by BeefReeferLives
2Pack

thank you kind sir! chit like that bugs me, would NEVA do a brudder like dat!

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
2Pack

lets blame a 6-9 hour time zone diff on this

BeefReeferLives

Happens to the best of us…

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

This isn’t the puzzle song, is it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pH7AXeGst-4

BeefReeferLives

Or maybe I’m just a super genius, like Wile E. Coyote.

Gumbygirl

That must be it!

BeefReeferLives

comment image