Request Line: Poverty and Wealth

EXT. SKID ROW ADJACENT MINI MART – DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES – TUESDAY

CUT TO: a disheveled-looking man standing on the sidewalk.

JIM TOMSULA: I don’t know about this, boys.  It’s my last two dollars.

DJ 3000: I’M TELLING YOU, IT’LL BE FINE.

JIM TOMSULA: But what about dinner? A man’s gotta eat.

JOHNNY 2.5: DON’T SWEAT IT, BUDDY. THE CHINATOWN BAKERIES WILL BE MAKING ROOM FOR THEIR AFTERNOON STOCK IN LESS THAN AN HOUR.

JIM TOMSULA: Yeah, but those dumpsters have locks on ’em.

PETUNIA: If you’re going to trust a bunch of extradimensional robots to hand you a set of winning lottery numbers – and you should – is it really that much a step farther to trust that we know the numbers of the combination lock they use over behind Long’s Family Pastry?

JIM TOMSULA: Ooh, I could definitely stand to knock down a few pork buns right now.

DJ 3000: THEN STOP STALLING AND GET ON IN THERE! YOU DON’T WANT TO KEEP THOSE PORK BUNS WAITING, IT’S NINETY-FOUR DEGREES OUT HERE.

JIM TOMSULA glances down at a discarded paper receipt in his hand, on the back of which has been written the numbers “7-10-11-13-24” and then another “24” circled in a spot of grease.

JIM TOMSULA: All right, here goes nothin’.  But this had better work, or this is the last time I’ll be trusting a bunch of talking robots from another universe feeding me lottery numbers through a shimmery magic portal in spacetime.

JIM TOMSULA swallows and steps inside the bodega.

CUT TO: DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES RAILROAD SPUR – FRIDAY

A disheveled-looking man is slumped among the garbage by the side of the tracks, wearing a ridiculous grin on his face.

DJ 3000: TIME TO GO, JIM-TOM. GOT A LOT OF ERRANDS TO DO.

JIM TOMSULA: [extremely intoxicated] Let me just drink one more toast with you fellas.  [holds up a bottle of MD 20/20]  And here I was thinking you was a bunch of scary robots when it turned out you was angels!  How in heaven’s name did you know the lottery numbers in advance?

RUSSELL WILSON: We didn’t know it in advance.  We simply tried every possible combination.  It’s a multiverse thing.

JIM TOMSULA: Huh?

DJ 3000: WE’RE TESTING THIS THEORY OF QUANTUM SMEARING; WHETHER WE CAN CREATE A SERIES OF INFINITE POSSIBLE TIMELINES, AND THEN COLLAPSE THE WAVEFORM DOWN INTO THE SINGLE TIMELINE THAT WE WANT.

JIM TOMSULA: [sips MD 20/20 thoughtfully] Uh huh.

JOHNNY 2.5: WE PROVIDED YOU – OR MORE SPECIFICALLY, A BILLION ALTERNATE VERSIONS OF YOU – EACH WITH A SINGLE POWERBALL COMBINATION. THIS UNIVERSE, THIS TIMELINE THAT WE’RE EXPERIENCING RIGHT NOW, HAPPENS TO BE THE ONE SINGLE TIMELINE WHERE YOU WON.

PED-209: THERE WERE ALSO SEVERAL ALTERNATE TIMELINES WHERE YOU CONSUMED INTOXICANTS OF VARIOUS TYPES AND LOST THE TICKET WITHIN THREE HOURS OF PURCHASING IT.

PETUNIA: [helpfully] And another one where you got hit by a bus!

JIM TOMSULA: So I’m the lucky one, eh?

DJ 3000: THAT’S RIGHT! THE FIRST THING WE’LL NEED TO DO IS FIND YOU A LAWYER, AND GET YOU SET UP WITH A TRUST.

JIM TOMSULA: Man, what am I even gonna do with all this money?

RUSSELL WILSON: I hear there’s good money to be made in the ownership of a National Football League team…

JIM TOMSULA: [scratches his chin] You know…

JIM TOMSULA grabs several items that surround him, and wraps them up in his trusty bindle.

JIM TOMSULA: Say, I don’t suppose you fellas could play a bit of music for me to ramble along to?

DJ 3000: WE ABSOLUTELY CAN, IN FACT IT’S TIME FOR REQUEST LINE AND YOU’VE JUST GIVEN ME THE PERFECT IDEA FOR A THEME.

The camera focuses on the piece of cloth JIM TOMSULA is using to wrap up his meager possessions. It then pans over to focus on the winning Powerball ticket.

DJ 3000: RAGS TO RICHES, BABY. RAGS TO RICHES.

Today’s theme is “poverty and wealth”.  We’re looking for songs that address either of these topics – bonus points if they address both at the same time.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?g!N63rD1g63r and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Last week’s puzzle answer of “Rock Lobster” was eventually claimed by SonOfSpam.  Let’s get to it!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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BugEyedBoo
DJ TAJ

Doing all Wu Tang? Far out

scotchnaut

Love that tune. Nothing but attitude from the front woman.

scotchnaut
Gumbygirl

Dammit, I was looking for this one!

ArmedandHammered

I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eswQl-hcvU0

Last edited 9 months ago by ArmedandHammered
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

(ill fated drummer is Ed Begley Jr.)

BeefReeferLives
scotchnaut

Greatest song addressing homelessness? PERHAPS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfxvsHpTZWk&ab_channel=lprovidemusic

scotchnaut
scotchnaut

“She’s a rich girl, don’t try to hide it…He’s a poor boy, empty as a pocket.”

/I’ll take my bonus points in the form of newly-minted Doorcoin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WSBSb5NjYI&ab_channel=PaulSimonVEVO

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
yeah right

I love this movie so damn much.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTzH4he7hP8

yeah right

“Poor Otis, dead and gone.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWXiz99zWAI

Gumbygirl

I sing that every tine I get in an elevator.

BeefReeferLives

‘Now my
Father used to tell me
Don’t go pissin on the apples
That have fallen from the tree
Cause you’ll see that when yer hungry
And yer backs against the wall
A fallen apple ain’t so bad
To eat’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkEBBIJIWDE

BeefReeferLives

‘Say you don’t know
Where yer money goes

I see yer Abraham Lincolns
Wish I had me some of those

Spent my whole damn wad
On food and pot
Ain’t much more that I have got
Gonna get it and get out of here’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwAMSZFHeZs

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wait, when did you write this? Did you kill Tony Bennett?

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
LemonJello
BeefReeferLives

The people might know but the people don’t care
That a man could be as poor as me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ka6yhEUyos

BeefReeferLives
WCS
2Pack
BeefReeferLives

Workin’ so hard like a soldier
Can’t afford a thing on TV
Deep in my heart I am warrior
Can’t get food for them kid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtPk5IUbdH0

Gumbygirl

Good God!

LemonJello
DJ TAJ

These guys did a different version

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwk0emLPZ5A

2Pack
Gumbygirl

The Quo!

2Pack
LemonJello

DOUBLESHOT!

When I win the lottery, I’ll have enough of these 3:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2HH7J-Sx80

BeefReeferLives

‘Everybody’s desperate trying to make ends meet
Work all day, still can’t pay the price of gasoline and meat’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAfezK8-s2w

Gumbygirl

Alas, their lives are incomplete

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
2Pack
BeefReeferLives
2Pack
BeefReeferLives

He’s just a poor boy
from a poor family

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ9rUzIMcZQ

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
Gumbygirl

Love this one! Almighty dolla!

BeefReeferLives

Don’t let money change you, Gumbygirl, as you’re my favorite!! (Don’t tell the others)

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