Request Line: Poverty and Wealth

EXT. SKID ROW ADJACENT MINI MART – DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES – TUESDAY

CUT TO: a disheveled-looking man standing on the sidewalk.

JIM TOMSULA: I don’t know about this, boys.  It’s my last two dollars.

DJ 3000: I’M TELLING YOU, IT’LL BE FINE.

JIM TOMSULA: But what about dinner? A man’s gotta eat.

JOHNNY 2.5: DON’T SWEAT IT, BUDDY. THE CHINATOWN BAKERIES WILL BE MAKING ROOM FOR THEIR AFTERNOON STOCK IN LESS THAN AN HOUR.

JIM TOMSULA: Yeah, but those dumpsters have locks on ’em.

PETUNIA: If you’re going to trust a bunch of extradimensional robots to hand you a set of winning lottery numbers – and you should – is it really that much a step farther to trust that we know the numbers of the combination lock they use over behind Long’s Family Pastry?

JIM TOMSULA: Ooh, I could definitely stand to knock down a few pork buns right now.

DJ 3000: THEN STOP STALLING AND GET ON IN THERE! YOU DON’T WANT TO KEEP THOSE PORK BUNS WAITING, IT’S NINETY-FOUR DEGREES OUT HERE.

JIM TOMSULA glances down at a discarded paper receipt in his hand, on the back of which has been written the numbers “7-10-11-13-24” and then another “24” circled in a spot of grease.

JIM TOMSULA: All right, here goes nothin’.  But this had better work, or this is the last time I’ll be trusting a bunch of talking robots from another universe feeding me lottery numbers through a shimmery magic portal in spacetime.

JIM TOMSULA swallows and steps inside the bodega.

CUT TO: DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES RAILROAD SPUR – FRIDAY

A disheveled-looking man is slumped among the garbage by the side of the tracks, wearing a ridiculous grin on his face.

DJ 3000: TIME TO GO, JIM-TOM. GOT A LOT OF ERRANDS TO DO.

JIM TOMSULA: [extremely intoxicated] Let me just drink one more toast with you fellas.  [holds up a bottle of MD 20/20]  And here I was thinking you was a bunch of scary robots when it turned out you was angels!  How in heaven’s name did you know the lottery numbers in advance?

RUSSELL WILSON: We didn’t know it in advance.  We simply tried every possible combination.  It’s a multiverse thing.

JIM TOMSULA: Huh?

DJ 3000: WE’RE TESTING THIS THEORY OF QUANTUM SMEARING; WHETHER WE CAN CREATE A SERIES OF INFINITE POSSIBLE TIMELINES, AND THEN COLLAPSE THE WAVEFORM DOWN INTO THE SINGLE TIMELINE THAT WE WANT.

JIM TOMSULA: [sips MD 20/20 thoughtfully] Uh huh.

JOHNNY 2.5: WE PROVIDED YOU – OR MORE SPECIFICALLY, A BILLION ALTERNATE VERSIONS OF YOU – EACH WITH A SINGLE POWERBALL COMBINATION. THIS UNIVERSE, THIS TIMELINE THAT WE’RE EXPERIENCING RIGHT NOW, HAPPENS TO BE THE ONE SINGLE TIMELINE WHERE YOU WON.

PED-209: THERE WERE ALSO SEVERAL ALTERNATE TIMELINES WHERE YOU CONSUMED INTOXICANTS OF VARIOUS TYPES AND LOST THE TICKET WITHIN THREE HOURS OF PURCHASING IT.

PETUNIA: [helpfully] And another one where you got hit by a bus!

JIM TOMSULA: So I’m the lucky one, eh?

DJ 3000: THAT’S RIGHT! THE FIRST THING WE’LL NEED TO DO IS FIND YOU A LAWYER, AND GET YOU SET UP WITH A TRUST.

JIM TOMSULA: Man, what am I even gonna do with all this money?

RUSSELL WILSON: I hear there’s good money to be made in the ownership of a National Football League team…

JIM TOMSULA: [scratches his chin] You know…

JIM TOMSULA grabs several items that surround him, and wraps them up in his trusty bindle.

JIM TOMSULA: Say, I don’t suppose you fellas could play a bit of music for me to ramble along to?

DJ 3000: WE ABSOLUTELY CAN, IN FACT IT’S TIME FOR REQUEST LINE AND YOU’VE JUST GIVEN ME THE PERFECT IDEA FOR A THEME.

The camera focuses on the piece of cloth JIM TOMSULA is using to wrap up his meager possessions. It then pans over to focus on the winning Powerball ticket.

DJ 3000: RAGS TO RICHES, BABY. RAGS TO RICHES.

Today’s theme is “poverty and wealth”.  We’re looking for songs that address either of these topics – bonus points if they address both at the same time.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?g!N63rD1g63r and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Last week’s puzzle answer of “Rock Lobster” was eventually claimed by SonOfSpam.  Let’s get to it!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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BeefReeferLives

As always, thanks for some jolly good fun, RTD!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aynCgnbbgbM

Last edited 9 months ago by BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Didn’t see this classic. Apologies if I’m Witching it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5KU34DrrPI

Last edited 9 months ago by BeefReeferLives
scotchnaut

The Flying Lizards made an appearance earlier and it was hell, swooshing them out of the clubhouse with our brooms.

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

A pleasant song about lifestyles of the idle rich.

(I, of course, sub in “snorting cocaine” for “drinking champagne like a good tycoon”)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjNYO-OI2Fo

scotchnaut

“No water in the water fountain, no sign on the sidewalk”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wWCOQK7jvE&ab_channel=BBC

Horatio Cornblower

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuTMWgOduFM

Go ahead and Blair Witch me as necessary. Got here late and don’t feel like checking.

scotchnaut

Living on free food tickets
It’s a good thing you don’t have a bus fare
It would fall through the hole in your pocket
And you’d lose it in the snow on the ground

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xur8Ng-DGp8&ab_channel=threestripes

scotchnaut

Her voice gives me the old goosebumps sometimes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73GkHBgQKDM&ab_channel=Ms.LaurynHill-Topic

scotchnaut

AC/DC talking about the skinny days before “Big Balls” caused the money to roll in.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyeWyLRLFNQ&ab_channel=AC%2FDC-Topic

SonOfSpam

He was amazing but now he’s dead so let’s keep drinking

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TeZMGx4q6c&ab_channel=malakh66

SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam
Last edited 9 months ago by SonOfSpam
scotchnaut

Cutbacks!

scotchnaut
Gumbygirl

I ain’t got no cigarettes

Horatio Cornblower

I saw a psychobilly band do this a few weeks ago down in New Haven. it was great.

Then the lead singer went full MAGA on the microphone.

scotchnaut

I mean, “Psycho” was right there…

Gumbygirl
Gumbygirl

Good one!

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
Gumbygirl

Maybe you’re a rich man too?
https://youtu.be/i5m-sgtwFck

BeefReeferLives

‘Mean Mister Mustard sleeps in the park
Shaves in the dark trying to save paper
Sleeps in a hole in the road
Saving up to buy some clothes
Keeps a ten-bob note up his nose’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMarHac3VpQ

Gumbygirl

Such a dirty old man!

BeefReeferLives

‘Don’t mess with crack or the baking soda
Whether in the high-rise where you live like Roda
Or in the shack and you live like Yoda
Once again it’s on like a brand new morn
Beastie-Beastie Boys here to keep you all warm’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CALcS_eJ0TA

scotchnaut

A scrub is a guy that thinks he’s fly…
And just sits on his broke ass.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrLequ6dUdM&ab_channel=TLCVEVO

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

“Donald Trump Donald Tramp livin in the men’s shelter
wearing bread bag shoes, and singing helter skelter”

Gumbygirl
Gumbygirl
Gumbygirl

These two go together- the Stones had some things to say about rich girls!

Horatio Cornblower

Star Star comes to mind

BeefReeferLives

Never had much to worry about
Slept the night under a bunch of stars
Now all the doors got fifteen locks
And the windows are covered up with bars

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmFXIk961A4

scotchnaut

This may sound harsh but after squandering his family’s considerable fortune, Lowratio is lucky to have a place to sleep!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HI0x0KYChq4&ab_channel=4evertheDisneySongs

Gumbygirl

He earns his keep the hard way, poor little fella!

BugEyedBoo
DJ TAJ

Let the beatings begin, I earned it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETxmCCsMoD0

scotchnaut

I’ve said it before but knowing the lyrics to ABBA’s tunes got me laid more than once. So I bear no ill will.

BugEyedBoo
BugEyedBoo

I think Neal Stephenson’s Anathem has that Many-Worlds theme in it. One of his best, and contains a really good example of a character who’s just along for the ride.

LemonJello
DJ TAJ

Let’s see if I can screw it up three straight times, I’m betting I can.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKSjqFEBTy8

DJ TAJ
DJ TAJ
BeefReeferLives
scotchnaut
Gumbygirl

Look man.

DJ TAJ

Gotta get drunk man ’til I can’t even speak

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
scotchnaut
BeefReeferLives
LemonJello
BeefReeferLives
scotchnaut
scotchnaut