Monday Morning Mock Draft: Tight Ends, The Balls Edition

We’re winding down the off-season here people, and Hippo Thoughts are fast moving in to this spot.  Last week we finished off our offensive lines by choosing tight ends.  This week we just get offensive and pick great asse(t)s of some of our favorite people that would never, ever speak to us in real life.

The rules are simple:

If the answer to the below statement is “yes”

then that person, and their rear end, is eligible to be drafted.  This also applies to male asses, as we here at DFO do not wish to exclude our female membership, any LGBTQ membership we may have, or just anyone who feels like saying “You know what?  Larry Fitzgerald had a great ass!”  if you feel that way, go ahead an pick them.

Ages 18 and up, so just keep it moving, Mr. Gaetz.

I could give Balls the first pick, and I meant to, but then I spent most of today painting the house.  Sadly, not a euphemism.

So I’ll make the first pick.

(Heh.  “Insert into post.” Heh)

Anyway, Ms. Lopez is justifiably famous for her derriere.  With good reason.

The rest of you are on the clock.