Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
In order to learn the most important lessons in life, one must each day surmount a fear [in bed].
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Surmounting a new fear each day in bed, sounds exhausting. I’d need a nap for my nap.

This is also my 200th post. Not sure that when I asked to write here that I thought I’d have this many posts, like, evar, but here we are. Still can’t write for shit, and hide behind the comments post, but it makes me feel like I contribute to the #content and the site in general. And strangely enough it was 5 years, ago, almost to the day.

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Went shopping with my girlfriend this morning and she bought a new vacuum. Now she’s vacuuming my place.

I’ve never felt so close to RTD.
Dunstan

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Yesterday I went to get stuff for strawberry pies to take to the Labor Day cookout with our nabes at the pool. I forgot to get Coil Whip, like a fucking savage.
Gumbygirl

“Spare not the coil whip, spoil the child!” – Adrian Peterson
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Today’s the anniversary of my first lap around the sun.

I completely spaced it until Lil’ WCS told me.
WCS

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There are not enough bad things that can happen to Dabo and his holier-than-thou ass. Bitch to your imaginary Sky God about Duke beating you in one hand and shit in the other, you fucking dipshit, then tell me which fills up first.
Horatio Cornblower

If Mike Elko would say “it was all just part of Satan’s plan for us” post-game, I’d vote him emperor.
King Hippo

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Turns out a lot of the stuff I normally enjoy about travel makes it really tough to get through when I’m still in “hate everything” mode
Doktor Zymm

Currently simultaneously exhausted and wide awake trying to distract myself from thinking in the outskirts of Copenhagen, which of course we all know features amazing nightlife at 2 am Tuesday morning
Doktor Zymm

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 Was it a wolverine? I bet it was a wolverine [in the Viking preview post]!

Gumbygirl

MR. WINKLES IS IN THE HOUSE!
LemonJello

If it’s not, I want my money back.
WCS

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The Stadium of the Fuuuutuuuuure! Bullshit. There is no fucking way Jacksonville can/will pony up the bajillions that would cost. They will fight it out for a few years, to make it look good, and then Khan will “regretfully” announce that he has no choice but to move the franchise to London, as he intended all along.
Gumbygirl

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Generational Throat GOAT here

Self-endoscopy done effortlessly by Professor Majidah Bukhari (video playback ⏩ x2) pic.twitter.com/kdE2N8ObPY

— Keith Siau (@drkeithsiau) September 3, 2023

Wakezilla

Obviously FAKE video; it says she’s a doctor in Saudia Arabia.
herodotus450

Huh. I’d have bet my life savings she worked here:

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Boy, all those people with fake ownership stock certificates are going to be really upset that “their” team isn’t doing so well and then they find out that they can’t actually do anything about it.
Horatio Cornblower

“That’s not true! They can buy more stock!” – actual Packers management, briefly glancing up from their ongoing money fight

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I saw yesterday that Peter King was picking them as the 7 seed going into the playoffs at 9 and 8. He had the Lions and Vikings in there too. That struck me as odd. Great preview Sir. I am with you on this. A rebuild job.

Speaking of Jets. How cool is this from my Zoomie friends. It’s not a photo it’s a mosaic.

2Pack

Close up

2Pack

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I’m awake but have been watching old TV shows and slaving away at my tardy Bears preview.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Here’s a star of yesteryear.

Gumbygirl

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🤣😅🤪

Don T

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Mysterious Stranger: “I can either cure ALS for your father or fix Joe Burrow’s calf and throw in an affordable extension.”

Redshirt: “…”

Satan: “Well?”

Redshirt: “I’m thinking.”

Mom: “Redshirt!”

Dad: “Hold on, dear. This is a tough choice.”
Redshirt

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Quickest draft ever.
Sharkbait

the interface was so weird I gave up tracking anything, which only helped expedite
King Hippo

I had help.

litre_cola

A quickie is a wonderful way to honoUr TWBS
Wakezilla

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WCS

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OK, good first game everybody. You returning guys, make sure you rehydrate and ice your typing fingers. We go for real in three days!
Horatio Cornblower

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I do not have to be happy for any of these teams, Cris.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

In fact, I don’t need to be happy at all. Sometimes I wake up to the sound of my own screams.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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KC might have to learn what hubris is
Spur

sounds too much like hummus for Andy wants no part of it
Gatoraids

/leaves KC immediately

-Lea Michele
Horatio Cornblower

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Collinsworth stumbling over simple thoughts like he’s Mitch McConnell.
LemonJello

*Glitch McConnell
Mr. Ayo

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I’m super duper high and laying on my couch, but holy matron saint do I want to punch Collingsworth Jr.
ThePirateSloth

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Chris Simms looks like a wish.com Jason Garrett.
Sharkbait

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YOU ARE RIGHT COLLINSWORTH WE DON’T NEED YOU!!!
litre_cola

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THIS CRIS COLLINSWORTH, I CALL HIM MY MOTHER IN LAW, BECAUSE HE SHOWS UP EVERY WEEK AND IRRITATES THE SHIT OUT OF ME
jjfozz

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Reporting to my post. Thank you all for keeping this site running another year, thats good hustle.
Gatoraids

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I can never get a good salted rim on any glass so I skipped it.

Won’t somebody give Sharky a good rimjob?
Dunstan

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Found a funny for all you lawyers

A lawyer dies and goes before St. Peter at the pearly gates. While St. Peter is looking through the book of life at his record the lawyer speaks up.
“Um, I think there’s been a mistake and I shouldn’t be here. I’m only 38 years old.”
“Really? Because according to this book you’re 107 years old.”
“What? That can’t be. That’s just ridiculous. How did you come by that number?”
“We used the hours you billed.”
Mr. Ayo

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…others will scythe end justifies…

I assume you meant “say” but the fact that your autocorrect went with this choice leaves me with a few questions about what you spend the rest of your time…you know what? It’s your business. I don’t want you thinking of me as some kind of “loose end” or something.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man, the editors around here are terrible. Be a shame if something happened to them.
Mr. Ayo

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Cow Alert News Which Is Only Of Interest To Horatio-

Where I live there are several Mennonite farms. Last Thursday morning I crested a blind corner and hit the brakes because Bessie was right in the middle of the road. What I’m trying to say is that cows have figured out how to be “run over” by vehicles for insurance money.
scotchnaut

Brick Meathook

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Massive thunderstorm rolling through here.

The dog is cowering under the desk. Won’t even sit next to me and beg for some of this sandwich.
Horatio Cornblower

I guess Lowratio is secured in his paddock?
LemonJello

He’s free range. It’s an ASPCA thing.
Horatio Cornblower

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(several weeks ago)
Redshirt: “Hopefully, I can watch the Bengals first game.”
Momshirt: “What do you mean?”
Redshirt: “Something comes up. Closing your pool. Helping someone move. It never fails.”
Momshirt: “You’re just being dramatic.”

(two days ago)
Momshirt: “Redshirt, can you drive me and your father to a Family Reunion.”
Redshirt: “Let me guess, Sunday?”
Momshirt: “How’d you know?”
Redshirt

“No, I told you I had plans several weeks ago. Let me show you how to download Uber.”
Horatio Cornblower

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Tiny Toons is being rebooted? Can’t I have one moment of my childhood not be violated?!
Redshirt

My FF team (Grimace Touched My Butthole) says nae.
King Hippo

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So on the topic of blown compressors, my stool was bloody last night. That is what happens when you sit on someone’s face at your local needleplay meetup, though.
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

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My new invention: Popcorn, but without the brown husk part that gets stuck in your teeth and/or burned. Just the White Popcorn.
/Hang on…
herodotus450

You could call it “cracker pop”.
JustStopDude

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Has anyone ever seen Armed&Hammered and Elon Musk in the same place?

Elon naming his newest child after a faction (in the game Warhammer) that grows kids in vats and lobotomizes people en masse to use as slaves feels a little TOO on the nose. https://t.co/DX6ZcWhkk3

— Kendall Brown (@kendallybrown) September 10, 2023

Horatio Cornblower

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Battle of Ohio

Brocky

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LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOO

(Quietly, though. Still hung over from Lady Maestro’s birthday party last night. Malibu is a silently evil beverage. This isn’t the worst hangover I’ve ever had, but it is weirdly pervasive. Maybe that’s just age talking.)
The Maestro

People Want To Know-Is a hangover a sandwich?
scotchnaut

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I have my pub’s regular’s party today. This year’s theme is enchanted forest. Did I go to the Dollar Store and buy all sorts of vines, fronds and the like? Yes I did. Will I have to ride the train downtown dressed like a male Poison Ivy? Yes I will.

It is a closed door event, 250 people, drinks are a twonie ($2CAD) each. It goes from noon to 6 pm, when they usher the regulars out and throw them in cabs.

It took me 7 years to get on this list as it is one of the best parties in the city. People try to sneak in and get rebuffed. Speaking of rebuffed! The buffet is amazing. The year they did a boat theme it was a seafood extravaganza.

2 Guinness and 3 Jamesons, 10 CAD when normally it would be 40 CAD. Yes please.
litre_cola

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NFL Football is back!
That’s Rockingggg!
rockingdog

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Cleveland has their old mascot Brownie the Sprite as their midfield logo. My Grandma Fran who had dementia also called her Nigerian hospice aid this who liked soda.
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

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I HAVEN’T SEEN CARDINALS PLAYING THIS DIRTY SINCE THE LAST CATHOLIC CHURCH CONVOCATION!
LemonJello

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Suggested new Chicago logo:

LemonJello

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Despite a shitty loss I just don’t care.

Nothing will spoil my mood.

Tomorrow is packing day and Tuesday I’m off to Portugal. [safe travels]

Boa sorte!
yeah right

this is the for good?
King Hippo

of course – only zymm travels for evil
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Live video feed of Chris collinsworth waiting to see if the next Green Bay QB is any good

Brocky

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Alright, I need to turn this off. If I wanted to watch height differentiated individuals get abused, I’d move to Connecticut.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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All the NYFD hats in the world wont stop this [ DAL vs NYFG] dumpster fire
Spur

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LemonJello

(checks crate)
Horatio Cornblower

You mean The Hurt Locker?
LemonJello

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Dallas Defense is the most dangerous unit. Am loving this
Spur

Did someone say “most dangerous unit”?

Horatio Cornblower

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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