Your First Slate of NFL Football Tilts Open Thread

But soft, what yonder matches approach? I’ve got them right here.

To the Games!

Raiders/Bills:

Las Vegas (and whatever else they’ve been over the years) haven’t won 2 games on the road to start the season since 1980. Is qb Allen slipping back into some silly decision-making or is it just me? Renfrow should finally see a ball come his way after not being targeted last week, what with Meyers out and Adams having trouble with a foot.

Ravens/Bengals:

The Mighty Burrow can’t go 0-2 in the division to start the year, can he? Last week his mates on the D side of things gave up 8 yards a rush to Deshaun so Lamar might just do ok. Rook wr Zay Flowers might be something-he had a 47% target share in his first game.

Chiefs/Jags:

I picked K.C. in survivor because I figure Patty will bounce back in a big way. I do expect that it to be a high-scoring tilt however. Kelce is expected back and in two games against Jacktown last year he had a trifling 20 catches.

Chargers/Titans:

Some fantasy analysts are just plain lousy. “We saw Tyjae Spears eat into Henry’s workload in a major way last week” is something that I read. I found that curious so I looked at their respective touches-Henry had 17 and Spears had 4-stop trying to make something happen, lousy football writer.

Packers/Falcons:

One advantage of never throwing the ball? Ridder hasn’t tossed an INT yet in his first 5 starts. If he does it again this week he’ll be the very first, going all the way back to 1950. Arthur Smith’s commitment to the rush will be tested as Green Bay gave up only 3.3 yards per attempt to designed runs by rb’s last week.

Seahawks/Lions:

The last two games these two have been high-scoring jizzfests with Seattle winning both, 48-45 and 51-29. Maybe take the over? “Goff falls apart under pressure”, so says the narrative but yet somehow he has tossed the ball 359 straight times without a pic.

Colts/Texans:

It’s The Battle of The Rookie Quarterbacks! My money ($60 of pretend money) is on Richardson.

Bears/Bucs:

If Mayfield wins this he joins the elite company of Fitzmagic, Shaun King and Rob Johnson as the only Tampa qb’s to start the year 2-0.

Do that thing.

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LemonJello

17-9 is still a loss, but methinks KC isn’t the team we thought it was.

fleshwound_NPG

me, before the season: lions havent won a playoff game since i was in 3rd grade

me, year 2043: lions havent won a playoff game since i was in 3rd grade

Mr. Ayo

HOX!!!

fleshwound_NPG

graphic depiction of justin fields in the 4th quartercomment image

blaxabbath

Meanwhile, Caleb Williams wants everyone to know he expects to pick his NFL destination.

Spur

The Chargers coach has to go.

ThePirateSloth

It drives me fucking insane to watch the Seahawks call short passing plays all the gotdamn time when they need big plays and yards. I know the strategy behind it and what not, but it still drives me insane.

Gumbygirl

Woohoo Tits!

King Hippo

Folk non-IMPLOSION!!

Spur

The Falcons have balls going on that 4th down

King Hippo

Mathematically correct. It did take bollocks the size of cantaloupes, tho

fleshwound_NPG

the bullshit running back jokes made about llamar before the draft is actually true about fields

Gatoraids

Shanklor just taking their sweet time setting up Lions to miss the FG in overtime instead

King Hippo

Riley Reid is TRUE and the LioUns might still FUCK yet