“It’s 4 O’Clock Somewhere” Your Late Slate Open Thread

Shall we do it again?

To The Games!

Giants/Cards:

The Giants fan with his glass half-full (having had to wash down all that heaping helping of humble pie last week) could convince himself that Arizona constitutes the perfect bounce-back opportunity. Everyone will be watching the o-line due to it’s outright shitty performance and the fact that Thomas, the best guy on the line has a hammy issue. Dimes faced pressure on 67% of his pass attempts. Good God. Dobbs fumbled three times last week, so you may not see a qb duel here.

Niners/Rams:

No Jalen Ramsey should mean that Aiyuk should duplicate last week’s numbers and Deebo should get some as well. The dew sure is off the rose (or whatever they say) for Fatt Stafford. Faced with declining play and whispers of some chronic injury concerns, he threw all of zero TD’s last week. Can Puka and Tutu combine again for 200+ yards? My Magic 8 Ball says, “200! 200? Are you kidding me? 200?”.

Jets/Cowboys:

Battle of the Undefeateds! Does anyone believe the Schefter garbage about Rodgers being back this year? Some good news for the Dallas pass rush-Zach’s release time last week was the league’s slowest at 3.29 seconds. Speaking of slow, do you think that he’ll ever figure out that he’s not a difference-maker at this level, that he’s a mere game manager? Anyway, I expect that next week when previewing the Cowboys game I’ll bring up some stat about them having the most sacks after two games since 1985 or some shit.

Commies/Broncos:

Well guess what, Coach Payton didn’t turn around Denver’s moribund offense in one fell swoop. After last week the O has scored 16 or less in 12 of its last 18 outings. Kudos to Sam Howell doing just enough last week to secure a victory. He’s an adequate streaming option and his wily wheels will stand him in good stead as the season progresses. Denver gets the 3.5 homefield spread but the bad news is they are 1-7 as a favorite dating back to last year.

Type away.

5 4 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
186 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
jjfozz

Ravens win. O’s clinch the division. I’m scared. I’ve never been this happy about Baltimore sports before. Guess I’ll drive downtown, watch a few drug deals, check out the shooting gallery, and I’ll feel okay again.

Spur

Those Donk fans stayed to boo Wilson no expecting a prayer answered too bad about that 2 pt conv

fleshwound_NPG

danger russ standing still in the pocket at the goal line throwing

never fails to deliver the lols

WCS

comment image

clint greasewood

Donkey prayers

WCS

there’s a pill boner

Downfield Matriculator

Russ cooking with meth!

Gatoraids

cooking with horse glue

Col. Duke LaCross

You gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.

Gumbygirl

Jeeeeeesus, plaid bananacakes in Denver!

Gumbygirl

Never mind!

litre_cola

HOLLLEEEEE Fuck

fleshwound_NPG

lol dan snyders ghost still haunts

King Hippo

Poor Charmslinger is too sadly inept to be real.

I am giving SNF a miss, y’all be good.

LemonJello

It ain’t over just yet, water horsie!

LemonJello

Nevermind. Now it’s over.

WCS

nah kinda is

Gumbygirl

Narrator: It’s over.

jjfozz

I’m back, and disappointingly sober

LemonJello

Still plenty of time to correct that situation.

ThePirateSloth

I leave the tv for an hour or so to do some chores and just sat back down to lol Broncos.

LemonJello

Donks QB today:

comment image

Spur

Commies are straight up fucking the Donks

fleshwound_NPG

sean payton shoulda known that a red army from the east was gonna foil his plans of conquest

WCS

footy manager will be up late at the Fortress of Pillatude.

LemonJello

Back up the glue factory truck to the stadium gates,because these Bronco’s are fucking done.

fleshwound_NPG

zach wilson already in his mind has checked out and is wondering which My Friends Hot Mom video he wants to check out post-game

WCS

MILFy.

fleshwound_NPG

THESE JETS I CALL THEM BUD LIGHT BECAUSE THEYVE BEEN DESTROYED BY ANGRY COWBOYS

fleshwound_NPG

(still loling that a bunch of mad rednecks have made a mexican beer #1 in the usa)

ballsofsteelandfury

To be fair, Modelo is ten times better than Bud Light.

LemonJello

comment image

Prison toilet wine is better than Bud Light.

Spur

and now he’s hurt

LemonJello

Donks fans headed to the exit? Awfully quiet at Mile High.

clint greasewood

Cardinals forgetting and remembering the mission
comment image

King Hippo

Mike Bidwill’s sexuality aside, Qards Talk shall be mighty lively

Spur

comment image

Redshirt

“I’m Donald J. Trump and I approve this message.”

Spur

Donks just want to go home.

Gumbygirl

Did they just tie it up?

Redshirt

How soon until Tom Brady is announced as New York’s new QB?

LemonJello

Hey, let’s not say things we can’t take back, okay?

Redshirt

My team’s 0-2 and the franchise QB is openingly limping and swearing on the field.

Some men just want to watch the world burn. – YouTube

Senor Weaselo

He’ll sabotage his own legacy to own the Jets.

fleshwound_NPG

soon hopefully. he’d be dead by week four with that line

fleshwound_NPG

since every damned thing from the 90s is making a comeback lets skip ahead to the cowboys/niners nfc title game

Redshirt

Seeing how I peaked in the 90s, I’d be okay with that.

litre_cola

Donks going to shit the bed here?

King Hippo

They already kinda have. Just a matter of the extent (like the Qards).

Fronkenshteen

THIS RUSSELL WILSON, I DON’T CALL HIM YEAH RIGHT BECAUSE HE AIN’T COOKING FOR SHIT

WCS

yeah wrong amiright lmao gldblss

Fronkenshteen

NANOPICKERBUBBLECEPTION

WCS

russ still cookin that donkey fecal matter

King Hippo

Let Patrick Star coordinate the offense.

WCS

My name’s Patrick!

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Fuck it, make Breen and Clyde the ESPN guys too.

Spur

Commies meet Quotas!

WCS

comment image

King Hippo

/yes we indeed just had another helping

Fronkenshteen

even before the Logan td/murder hit, I got a feeling after the facemask personal foul on 2nd and 10 on that drive. some plays just make you go, “hmm!”

King Hippo

You deffo were onto something

Spur

Micah pulled that ball out.

fleshwound_NPG

THIS MICAH PARSONS LEMME TELL YA I CALL HIM MY FANTASY WITH KENDRA LUST WHILE IM MAKING DINNER BECAUSE HE GRABBING BALLS FROM A COOK

Gumbygirl
The Maestro

Evening, degenerates. Just returned from the lake. Back to the drudgery of writing charts for my adult jazz band, but instead getting distracted on here.

Gumbygirl

They are adults, make them write their own damn charts. You have important DFO bidness to attend to!

Senor Weaselo

Hey, that’s a thing I now do that people pay me for! (Okay, it’s one guy, and a 90-year old woman who asked me to transcribe her string quartet book.)

blaxabbath

I need to go to the Dbacks game now.

God…..

blaxabbath

Christ it’s against the Cubs…

WCS

FivePointsVids looks like an infantryman fresh out of Da Nang 1969.

Spur

Donks sharing points with the Commies might be a bad thing.

King Hippo

do it FOAR CAPITALISM you lazy, let ’em off the mat fuckweasels!!!