Your Sunday Night AFC East Showdown Open Thread

Me, I’d love a little 0-2 action for the Pats and Miami is just the team to do it. Let’s look at a few particulars.

To The Game!

Fins/Pats:

-Watch out Miami, Jalen Reagor has been elevated from the practice squad for this one.

-Can the Fins be run on? Well, they gave up 5.8 ypc to the frickin’ Chargers last week so I’d say, ‘yeah’. Methinks Bill will stuff the ball down their throats until the single older mothers come home. This even though Mac Jones attempted 54 passes last week and acquitted himself quite well. Nope, rb Stevenson is where the action should be at so maybe jump on that 75 yards rushing prop.

-Tua has never lost to the Pats. Perhaps it’s because the latter play zone D against the Fins almost 80% of the time. How does Tua react to zones? He averages 9 yards per attempt and had the third-most TDs (11) vs that coverage. Bill sees something no one else does.

-Helping Tua along is Tyreek and his 9 targets and 92 yard average against this division opponent. Oh right, remember he mouthed off about a 2,000 yard season this year? He did get 215 last week so that means he needs 111 yards per game the rest of the way. If he’s been on your fantasy team you know he’s going to have some clunkers along the way.

-Hey, what’s with blocking tight end Durham Smythe (of the Cape Cod Smythe’s of course) getting 7 targets last week? They had a perfectly cromulent pass-catching tight end on the roster by the name of Gesicki and let him flounder on the bench. Maybe it’s revenge game time? He had three targets last week and caught them all.

-It would seem that Old Bill focuses on taking Waddle out of the game given that the talented wideout has never had more than 5 catches and 69 receiving yards vs the Pats.

Let’s Watch.

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Gumbygirl

Who the fuck are these guys on The Challenge? I recognize Not Lou Diamond Phillips, but the others? Where are Fred and Spiro?

SonOfSpam

Your livin in the past man

(answer is, a bunch of clowns)

ballsofsteelandfury

They’re gone. They’ve been replaced.

Brick Meathook

I thought it was Fred and Stavros.

Gumbygirl

I just looked it up. It’s Petros. I can never remember it, and for some reason I always call him Spiro. The new guys suck.

SonOfSpam

THIS GUMBYGIRL I CALL HER A HORNY SHEEP BECAUSE SHE’S LONGING FOR SOME RANDOM GREEK GUY

Gumbygirl

It’s all Greek to Balls.

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

TheRevanchist

The real winner here? Not Miami, as this game was a struggle against Mac Jones.

Fronkenshteen

For your consideration for The Bad Beat Hall of Fame:

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Mr. Ayo

Oh no. There’s at least one spot error that caused it. Brutal.

Fronkenshteen

This was a .25 / 9-leg parlay that would have paid $182.00. Good times.

Horatio Cornblower

Terry McAuliffe doing yeoman’s work to carry water for the NFL here. There wasn’t enough to overturn that call, period, end of story. And I hate the Patriots.

NFL officiating is basically guesswork followed by mealy-mouthed justifications for whatever they decided.

The Maestro

Fucking horseshit. I want this official’s home address.

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t think it’s his call; I think the overturn comes from the New York offices, or whatever shitty office building they stash the replay officials in.

Wakezilla

17-0 BABY! LETS GOO!

/Is fully aware that doesn’t get reversed if Dreamboat is on the P*ts

fleshwound_NPG

17-0 not happening, you employ eli apple, whom is gonna blow a last minute coverage so bad even lauren boebert is gonna blush

Gatoraids

69 Strange comes down to inches, niiiiiiicee

Col. Duke LaCross

I’m sure there are some reasonable things being said of that referee in that crowd right now.

fleshwound_NPG

bleerg no longer saves you, boston

Gumbygirl

Ohhhhhhh yes! Hook it to my veins!

Wakezilla

How was the play not called dead when the TE caught it?

Horatio Cornblower

That’s a legitimate question. I think they’re dead wrong on overturning the spot for the first down, but there’s no way his forward progress hadn’t been stopped before he lateraled it.

fleshwound_NPG

that’s short

Mr. Ayo

Fat man first down!

Wakezilla

That’s a bullshit spot.

Gumbygirl

No overtime!

fleshwound_NPG

he wasnt distracted, he just sucks beyond 50, dumbasses

you just showed that graphic 10 seconds ago!

Wakezilla

Such a stupid decision

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B. Walsh

Wakezilla

I wouldn’t go for the field goal here.

Wakezilla

FUCK! WHAT A DUMB FUCKING DECISION. SANDERS ISN’T EVEN GOOD FROM THAT FAR OUT.

Wakezilla

Damn Tua and his small hands!

Gatoraids

Belichick upset saying he was trying to spear his spinal column not his helmet

Wakezilla

So we’re not calling holding anymore? Do the refs know that Brady isn’t on the Pats?

fleshwound_NPG

they heard ya!

Wakezilla

Evening folks.

How about them Dolphins!?!

Can I change my prediction to 17-0?

Mr. Ayo

If you want us to laugh at you even more, go for it!

fleshwound_NPG

it is written in the nfl bylaws that to promote offensive football and point scoring at least one team must employ eli apple

Gatoraids

Original Sin

The Maestro

AT LEAST WE AHH NAWT THAH JETS

Horatio Cornblower

Nope. The Jets won a game.

fleshwound_NPG

great arm punt in hindsight

ThePirateSloth

*sigh*

Gatoraids

I CALL THAT PATRIOUDS TD PLAY ORCHIDS OF ASIA BECAUSE A WHOLE LOT OF ILLEGAL ACTIVITY WASNT CAUGHT

Gatoraids

Only victory for Boston tonight will be the cancellation of Winning Time

Horatio Cornblower

Is that show still on?

Man, I’ll watch almost anything with John C. Reilly in it, but turns out I do have a limit, and that show was it.

Gatoraids

esd zaslaved tonight after season 2

Mr. Ayo

Are you having a stroke? Blink twice for yes.

Gatoraids

no just drinking or a contact high of watching the Kareem Jackson concussion earlier

fleshwound_NPG

if we’re bringing everything from the 90s back, let’s bring the greatest thing about the 90s back and permanently

no boston championships

LemonJello

Legend of White Mac-ception!

Redshirt

How many weeks until the No Fun League outlaws that running FB block for “safety”?

LemonJello

But, the P*triots did it! It has to be the bestest and smartest play in the history of plays!

LemonJello

Sorry, I channeled Tirico and Collinsworth for a minute.

WCS

Don’t make us send you to Lowratio’s “room.”

Horatio Cornblower

Oh, it’s not a room.

Mr. Ayo

Belichick has such a special boner right now.

LemonJello

grumblegrumbleyourmomandauntthinkitsprettyspecialgrumble

LemonJello

“Great Defense” = lining up in the neutral zone prior to the snap.

Fuck off, Cris!