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Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
There can be no good without evil [in bed].
Russian proverb
Remember to have and use a safe word if it gets too much for ya. Or nightmares suck
As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
LOVED that terrible call against Minkah Fitzpatrick late in the 4th last night and the camera guy catching his chef’s kiss EXQUISITE pouty face afterwards. I only wish the ref would’ve announced, “PERSONAL FOUL! NUMBER 20! FOR LAST WEEK IN CLEVELAND! BECAUSE THE PITTSBURGH STEELERS NEED TO FUCKING LEARN THAT THE REST OF THE COUNTRY IS NOT INTERESTED IN WATCHING THEM CHEAP SHOT ALL THE SKILL POSITION PLAYERS OUT OF THE LEAGUE SO THEY CAN WIN TEN GAMES IN UNWATCHABLE FASHION. AS I AM CALLING THIS PENALTY, THE LOBBIES AND ELEVATOR SHAFTS OF EVERY HOTEL ON THE STRIP ARE BEING FUMIGATED FROM THE STENCH OF THE DEER BALONEY FARTS OF THE ONLY MONSTERS ON THE PLANET WHO WOULD CELEBRATE THIS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION! FUCK THEM, AND MAY THE NEXT RYAN SHAZIER DIE ON THE FIELD! FIFTEEN YARDS, AUTOMATIC FIRST DOWN!!”
Fronkenshteen
These [Hippo thought’s] are much better than watching the games folks.
2Pack
A by-name mention in Hippo Thoughts? It’s not my birthday…I’m honoUred!
LemonJello
bangles defense looking better as time goes on
fleshwound_NPG
“Um, what you’re referring to as ‘defense’ is actually a restraining order.” – Ms. Hoffs, via her attorneys
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
SAFETY DANCE!
Mr. Ayo
Horatio is recreating the video with the Mrs. and the little fella.
Gumbygirl
September 25, 2023 6:51 pm
I’m wondering how Eli’s mom is going to keep him calm in the days leading up to the NFL Toy Story game.
jjfozz
THIS GUY MIKE BROWN, I CALL HIM THE TIGER KING BECAUSE HE DOESN’T CARE IF HIS BENGALS LIVE OR DIE AS LONG AS HE CAN MAKE A PROFIT OFF OF THEM
LemonJello
oh JEEBUS, in the White Tiger kit, no less. HE WANTS GOD TO TREAT HIM AS ENDANGERED.
King Hippo
clint greasewood
Baby, if you ever wondered
Wondered whatever became of meeeeee
I’m dyin’ on the pitch for Cincinnati
Joseph Burrow, Bengals RIP
King Hippo
Today is my birthday. Gumby sang to me, and did an interpretive dance. It was stunning! What am I doing for fun, you ask? I took all the greasy filters off my microwave/ exhaust fan. I’m pretty sure this is original to the house, circa 2004. Equally sure it’s never been cleaned before. I turned it on when we first moved here, and it wasn’t exhausting, so I just figured it was broken, and haven’t tried it since. Turns out it’s not broken, just disgusting. I am living la vida loca!
Gumbygirl
Happy Birthday.
You should get high and go to the wrong concert to celebrate.
Horatio Cornblower
I’ve been fucking around with cocktails at home tonight. Gonna be a weird morning.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
(BFC waking up, dick in the vodka bottle, trying to explain to Mrs that it meant nothing)
SonOfSpam
(also wishing he’d cheaped out and gotten plastic bottle vodka so it wouldn’t necessitate a trip to the ER to get it out)
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
I’ve been fucking around with cock-
Oh yeah me too
I’ve been fucking around with cocktails at home tonight.
Oh haha nevermind
herodotus450
Wifey/Me: [let’s the dogs run free in the forest all the time, multiple times per day, all year long]
Wifey: “We shouldn’t let the dogs out during hunting season-they could be shot.”
Me: “So, leave them inside all day and let them pee and shit in here for two months?”
Wifey: “Well, no.”
Me: [let’s the dogs out]
scotchnaut
And now we know who let them out
/who
//who
Game Time Decision
He was forcibly medicated (by a young woman with thin shoulders)
“I’ll take the highlight of my trip to Thailand for 600, Alex.”
-Hippo
scotchnaut
If you had to pick Trestman, Fox, Nagy, or Eberflus to properly purchase 15 items on shopping list at your local Jewel (or “Jewels” per proper Chicagoland nomenclature), who would you pick?
- Trestman would probably start strong but be distracted by the 11 year-old shopping with her mother and try to lure her to his “Trestvan”.
- Fox would get everything in the cart, head up front to check out, but would challenge whether or not an item was properly scanned, and the item would revert back to the shelf. Plus, he’s old and sucks and would get lost.
- Nagy would get 10 items in the cart, freak out and shit himself and ask the frightened shoppers around him to figure out the “whys” (insofar as he shit himself).
- Eberflus would smile and talk to a random person in the parking lot and then inadvertently walk into traffic.
Cuntler
Don T
Yes, I am watching Golden Bachelor. AMA.
SonOfSpam
Just make sure you don’t watch it for 4 hours.
Gumbygirl
Can’t believe I’ve already lost my FF matchup this week. Stupid Montgomery and Sharkbait.
Mr. Ayo
If it makes you feel better I’m getting Monty’d in another league.
Sharkbait
Middle Fozz Spawn has been working his way back from a menicus tear – he tore it in half.
Got back into the rotation in football today.
Me: “How did you play?”
Middle Fozz Spawn: “I pancaked a motherfucker.”
So, it went well.
jjfozz
I need to find a spot in the US, potentially in Chicago, that shows rugby. I just had so much fun watching NZ completely beat down Italy, and I kinda love how there is no garbage time and no shame in running up the score. The NFL was some weird puritan hangups for a league that’s totally cool with maiming players, overt racism, and making women apologize for being hit.
Doktor Zymm
(pretty transparent attempt to hook a Chicago rugby bro, hope I get invited to the wedding)
SonOfSpam
She just needs to look for the Hooker and she’ll be fine.
Sharkbait
If you can’t spot the Hooker in the first half-hour, you’re the Hooker.
SonOfSpam
“Will a person be able to follow the plot [of the Smrtest Coach on earth series] just by looking at the pictures?”
-Lea Michelle
LemonJello
Gumby and I just celebrated our birthdays at Melvyn’s in Palm Springs. It was great, old school in the best way. Waiters firing up Steak Diane, Cherries Jubilee, Bananas Foster tableside. Completely shitfaced old guys belting out Frank Sinatra tunes along with the lounge singer. A beautifully dressed old broad pitching backwards off her barstool ( not me) many, many sugar babies and their daddies. Lots of fake tits and some truly scary facelifts. I loved it!
Gumbygirl
So I’ve been cooking for about 50 years and I’ve been cooking for y’all motherfuckers about 10.
That roast pork that I had in Portugal humbled me.
Humbled me HARD.
I just may have an idea for Sunday Gravy Season 10.
I really want a pork sandwich.
yeah right
You had us at pork
2Pack
Brick Meathook
Tough week, this. TBH, I spent September being overly snide at work and “Again?! [sigh]” in my family obligations. But hey, if it ain’t broke, yadda yadda yadda.
I really, reeeeeally should do administrative work today.
Counterpoint:
Don T
Greetings, fellow empire builders! I understand that our colleagues over in the Upper and Lower Canadas are in the midst of recognizing a “National Day for Truth and Reconciliation” for uncivilized tribal peoples. Are they insinuating that I should give back all of my diamonds? If so, it looks like I’m not the only one that has enjoyed a few glasses of firewater today!
Cecil Rhodes
Quite honestly more referees, and umpires, should be pelted with trash after bad calls.
Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower
A Carlin reminder:
Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics German, the lovers Italian and it’s all organised by the Swiss.
Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the lover’s Swiss, the police German and it’s all organised by the Italians.
King Hippo
Okay, that was mean. Toy Story animation just showed the Falcon’s o-line as three traffic cones and a crossing guard stop sign.
BugEyedBoo
If you see me down voting comments about the bears it’s because I’m immature don’t think too much of it ineedtocopejesusfuckingchrist
Brocky
I haven’t seen Zach Wilson this confident since he was talking to the chaperones at the Sadie Hawkins Dance!
Horatio Cornblower
it took a few weeks, but a second upright has been hit in a jets game
fleshwound_NPG
Sauce Gardner was what we used to call our voyeuristic landscaper
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show
Horatio Cornblower
As God as my witness I had no idea that this video had a dwarf in it and holy shit do I have some regrets right about now.
Horatio Cornblower
“You should bring your family to the game.”
Shot of AA Ron alone in the owner’s suite
LemonJello
“dont really get all this swift hype. she doesnt even have a kid yet.”
-z. wilson
fleshwound_NPG
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
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