Your Somewhat Angry Monday Night Football Open Thread

That was a day yesterday, wasn’t it? We saw some awesomeness and there was some unmitigated crap as well. Speaking of, this Thursday we’ve got the Steelers and Pats facing off. Apparently the O/U is a paltry and disgusting 31 and a half. Are you fucking kidding me? More on this in a bit.

Fallout:

-I usually start this by listing the numerous injuries that occurred Sunday but I’m not going to do that. Well, except for one. Tank Dell. What the hell was Texans OC Slowik thinking, asking Dell to block on an inside power run? Seriously! From the replay it looked like his blocking assignment was safety Justin Simmons. Do you know how much Dell weighs? 165. Simmons is 205. Yeah Tank, block that guy that outweighs you by 40 pounds and do it close quarters. The stupidity just bewilders me.

-More Stupidity: Ron Rivera decided that he would call defensive plays, a thing he hasn’t done since 2018 and enlisted the help of a db coach that isn’t out of his 20’s yet. Seriously? (this word is getting a workout right now) And what was the end result? Play single man coverage on Tyreek Hill. What the fuck? And what did Rivera do after the game? The same thing he did to Jack Del Rio, threw a defensive coach under the bus to deflect from his own bad decisions. Everyone says Riverboat is a nice guy but, I don’t know.

-Futility, Thy Name Is: The Pats have scored 13 points in three games. Sure, teams go thru dry spells for any number of reasons-players that are a poor fit for the system, poor qb-ing, no wr’s to speak of-these are some of the Pats problems. But the thing that bothers me is that New England seems to be intentionally dragging teams down to their level and the end result is unwatchable football. Can’t stand it because Old Bill just smirks away thru the proceedings. Just brutal.

To The Game!

Bengals/Jags:

-Gah! Fill in the blanks down below-I’m pissed and I’ve reached the minimum word limit.

Your turn.

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Doktor Zymm

I hope this bonus football lives up to the mustaches involved

Cecil Rhodes

This game features Kurt Browning and a QB named Beat Hard. If one of these teams was the Chicago Bears, I might propose that we are living in one of Aaron Rodgers’ dreams.

Gatoraids

Just prepping us for the QB duel on TNF this week

SonOfSpam

We should introduce you to Buddy Cole.

Unless you’ve already met in West Hollywood park bathroom in 1985.

SonOfSpam

Cock Jabbing BeatHerd is goona have his Iowa training kick in.

“Play for the punt. Play for the punt.”

Redshirt

Tails always fails.

LemonJello

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ThePirateSloth

Oh hey, there’s a football game on!

Redshirt

Overtime? Sure, why not.

Redshirt

I’d do a screen here.

Mr. Ayo

This is game is as tied as David Carradine

LemonJello

Hopefully they won’t leave us hanging…

Brick Meathook

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fleshwound_NPG

starting QBs dead as David Carradine

Doktor Zymm

Bonus football yes, but at what cost?

SonOfSpam

For me? At least one more beer.

LemonJello

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LemonJello

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Redshirt

WHAT THE FUCK?!

SonOfSpam

Lookit this Ohio guy protesting. Him and 3 others about to get shooted.

SonOfSpam

Parker Washington can’t lose.

Redshirt

Quit showing how inept Beathard is! Just begging for a Bengals jinxing!

Redshirt

Okay, new rule. For the sake of the star quarterbacks, the Bengals can no longer play in the primetime. If they make it to the end, the Super Bowl kicks off at 9:30 AM.

LemonJello

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Brick Meathook

C.J. BEATHARD: White man quarterback. Can he do it? Can he overcome the odds?

LemonJello

FOR FUCKS SAKE! BENCH HIS ASS NOW!

Redshirt

Damn it, rook. Dive on the ball!

Gatoraids

Bee turd making a statement
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Cecil Rhodes

I find it amusing that Daniel Jones, Kenny Pickett, and Anthony Richardson are considered “notable QBs” that are injured.

Gatoraids

Notable Portletables for 500

LemonJello

How hard is it to find some primo pain killers in that stadium and get Prison Girlfriend back on the field?

Doktor Zymm

Um, if it was just a matter of applying the good stuff he would be back in. He looked FUCKED and nawt good fucked

SonOfSpam

He’s already drinking pruno and making sweet love to Derek Chauvin. And stabbing him again hopefully.

Redshirt

Oh, Chauvin is being stabbed alright.

SonOfSpam

Okay, now let’s watch Cum Jizzrag Beat Herd.

WCS

Blax’s sock isn’t here.

SonOfSpam

It’s right behind you.

fleshwound_NPG

all these dead qbs making this man happy in the afterlife

buddy-ryan.jpg
Brick Meathook

“Mixon” is just like “Nixon” except with an “N”

Not many people know that.

SonOfSpam

I AM NOT A CROOK except for that whole bitchbeating thing

Redshirt

Which “-ixon” are you talking about?

SonOfSpam

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Dunstan

THIS GUY TREVOR LAWRENCE, I CALL HIM ROY HORN, BECAUSE HE GOT MAULED BY A WHITE BENGAL

Col. Duke LaCross

Banner?

SonOfSpam

Yeah that’s pretty fucking good

Brocky

Oh shit redshirt, I’m sorry for your bad luck…

Oh wait shit force of habit my bad

Redshirt

The night is still young…

Brocky

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WCS

Two false start BLEERGHs on Brownoising.

Redshirt

Good grief, Browning!

Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

SHAN’KHLOR you capricious bitch!

clint greasewood

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LemonJello

I swore my laptop camera was off!

WCS

DOK’S TIE LIVES

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B. Walsh

Redshirt

Damn it, Jacksonville. Not like this.

Col. Duke LaCross

Cue up CJ Beathard.

LemonJello

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fleshwound_NPG
Doktor Zymm

WHO SHANKED PRISON GIRLFRIEND!!?

Gatoraids

My cleats, my shank not working for jacksonville linemen

WCS

Well, thanks for playing, LimeGelatin.

LemonJello

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LemonJello

Welp. There it is. Turn off the lights, the party is over.

SonOfSpam

Hey at least you Jacksonville folk have
baseball
basketball
hockey
culture
next season

Mr. Ayo

METH

Redshirt

Uh oh…

Mr. Ayo

Prison Girlfriend ded!

Mr. Ayo

Is this the greatest night of Redshirt’s life?

MAYBE!

Redshirt

Based on what I’ve seen, I don’t think I can survive the plays Zac Taylor has for a four-minute drill.

Redshirt

This is not the week to be a non-player.

BugEyedBoo

I think the ref has that tanning bed eye thing going on.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man BEERGH sure is getting his tribute right about now.

Redshirt

Redshirt watching this game (Artistic Interpretation)

The Simpsons – Homer’s Heart Attack – YouTube

Doktor Zymm

Browning >> Brownsing

fleshwound_NPG

theyve been brownsing when browning is not the one throwing the ball

Cecil Rhodes

Ta-da!

IMG_0206.jpeg
Redshirt

Take the points, take the points, take the….afdjilk;ns;ke/den,basf.vkxopmglnt3rw
o.ewk
n/cpo
]-[ /ml

Doktor Zymm

Naw, they did right