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Are…Are We Through?: Tuesday Open Thread

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

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So we’re in the home stretch. 2024 is nigh upon us, and I for one am terrified.

Not so much because 2024 promises to be one of the strangest, most contentious and potentially republic-shattering on record.

No, I am terrified because 2024 was not just “The Future” but “The Far Future” when I was growing up. Like, Star Trek was talking about Irish Reunification happening in 2024. That means “someday” is “now” and I’m not ready for that.

I’m not big on New Year’s Resolutions, because 1. I routinely fail to meet my own more modest everyday goals, and 2. January (particularly above the Mason-Dixon Line) is no time for self-improvement. You hunker down, drink and pray you hold out until Spring.

Still, I like to think I have a Growth Mindset, so here are some generalized goals I am working toward in 2024:

1. Turn down the self-loathing by roughly 30%

2. Decouple my identity from my work

3. Find 15 minutes per day to improve my relationship with someone.

4. Find the one-armed man, bring him to justice and clear my name.

Share your goals in the comments

NFL NEWS

-In a stunning yet completely predictable reversal of fortune, it looks like Tommy DeVito’s time as a starter with the Giants is over, at least until another trainer punctures Tyrod Taylor’s other lung. DeVito was benched at halftime of the Giants’ loss to Philly, and although the Giants say no decision has been made on the starter going forward, it’s gonna be Taylor. Brian Daboll is coaching for his job, and the Giants looked almost respectable in the second half. As for Tommy Cutlets, that $10k pizza parlour money is probably looking pretty good right now.

-Trevor Lawrence: partially ded. Lawrence sprained the AC joint in his throwing shoulder, leaving his status up in the air. The jaguars are suddenly in a fight with the Clots and the Texans for the division they had dominated through most of the season.

-Brock Purdy: did not get Jimmy Garoppolo’d on Christmas Day as I had predicted. Instead, he got Nathan Peterman’d. I’m not sure that’s any better.

-Vikings tight end TJ Hockenson: very ded. Hockenson tore his ACL and MCL this weekend. Surgery to be scheduled, and there is no return timeline yet, but expect it to be lengthy.

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2Pack

January always brings the “resolves” to the gym and out running on the road. But as the sun always rises, by mid February it’s back to the usual suspects.

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2Pack

Resolvers.
Fuckin auto correct.
And fuckin WordPress inability to edit fuckin auto correct.
Damned my OCD!

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WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

‘Hapsburgs To Revolutionaries’,

/oil on canvas

(1848)

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

That’s some good parenting there

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s no coincidence that the kids are wearing Chiefs colors.

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Horatio Cornblower

Watching ‘Letterkenny’ and debating the morality of getting on the Christian dating app they keep advertising and not telling any of them I’m married.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Going to the Letter Kenny comedy show in February with Mrs GTD. Was one of her gifts to me for Xmas

Last edited 2 years ago by BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can’t help but laugh that the Detroit Pistons just set a record for losing 27 games in a row and their record so far this season is *still* better than Hue Jackson’s first two years in Cleveland.

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WCS

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Fronkenshteen

I know I’m 100 years late to this stuff, as usual, but these mash-ups are hot shit. Old B.B. King mixed with old Wu-Tang Clan and the whole thing sounds contemporary. Kewl!

https://youtu.be/s2EyTZfbIco?si=BDOX8URAjC2vpUjZ

Anyone have any interest(ing gambling tips they can lay on me so that I might lay a semi-intelligent parlay and thereby maintain some semblance of interest) in the 9:00 bowl game?

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ballsofsteelandfury

The spread started at Kansas -11.5 and it’s down to -8.

I say you take Kansas minus the points. UNLV is not that good.

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Fronkenshteen

aye-aye!

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ballsofsteelandfury

Please tell me you placed the bet.

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Fronkenshteen

I did! With the over. VERY low stakes, but enough to futz around on Premier League all day (and give most of it back 🤓), and try a fun parlay on the rest of day’s footed ball.

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Horatio Cornblower

It is interesting watching this documentary to see all the things that White did on a routine basis that would get him thrown out of a game in the first quarter today. Nothing dirty, just that the rules of the game have changed so much, especially when it comes to hitting the QB.

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Horatio Cornblower

There are some outstanding haircuts going on here, too.

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scotchnaut

I’m a bit surprised that Lawrence Taylor’s attempts to break a qb’s arm in order to strip him of the ball was not a penalty back in the day.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

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scotchnaut

Thing is, by all accounts, in his rookie year he was a (drug-free) dick from Deer Salt Lick, North Calacky but was playing the game at a speed that no one had ever seen before.

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Doktor Zymm

Is Deer Salt Lick near Lower Elk Hump?

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Dunstan

Depends how late in the Ungulate Orgy it is.

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Dunstan

Same thing happens if you watch a montage of Scott Stevens’ best hits in the NHL. All suspension-worthy today.

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Horatio Cornblower

This is true. Stevens probably would be arrested today.

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Doktor Zymm

This seems to be true in almost every sport, or every contact sport at least.

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Doktor Zymm

Once I get a job again, I’m going to try and budget for retiring at 50. Challenging since you can’t withdrawal from retirement accounts without penalty until 59 1/2

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Horatio Cornblower

I’m trying the same thing, but there’s a serious flaw in the plan in that I am 54.

Last edited 2 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
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SonOfSpam

Same. I’m realistically aiming for 65, but may go sooner if BIDENOMICS KEEPS ROCKIN

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Horatio Cornblower

THANKS JOE BIDEN!!!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean if you invented an elixir that could de-age you by four years you would probably have little trouble with the financial side of your retirement plan.

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Horatio Cornblower

If only I knew someone with a laboratory inside of a volcano lair…

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

I’ve got 4 months to retire at 50 but think I’m gonna need more time to get more money. Unless one or more of yinz is willing to give me some money

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ballsofsteelandfury

That was the point of DFOCon Vegas!

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

To send me money? If so, I never got it

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SonOfSpam

Gonna start with a Dry January (no really stop laughing) and try to keep it going for a while longer; really focus on weight loss without using New Drugs That You Can Never Stop Taking. Do whatever I can to make sure the White House stays the Biden residence.

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Doktor Zymm

I’m going to do only slightly soggy Jan, nawt gonna turn down free vintage champagne or similar

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Doktor Zymm

Damp January? Mildly moist January?

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SonOfSpam

“Mildly what January?”

-B. Shapiro

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Horatio Cornblower

Dehydrated January.

Although alcohol supposedly dehydrates you, so that probably won’t work.

Gonna have a couple of drinks and worksh…Goddammit!!!!.

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Horatio Cornblower

Having done Dry January in the past I can say that you will drop weight doing that. Alcohol, while the solution to and cause of all of life’s problems, is really good at adding weight that one does not need.

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Doktor Zymm

Annoyingly, this works way better for men than women

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SonOfSpam

FINALLY white men get an advantage!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was toying with the idea of something a little different: trying to string together at least one seven-day stretch of sobriety per month.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

My Resolutions this year are:

-Shoot a round in the 90-95 range.
-Shoot well enough consistently to lower my Handicap Index into the 20s
-Shoot an adult film short with my lady friend

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SonOfSpam

“I can give you tips on filming an adult short”

-B. Favre

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ballsofsteelandfury

There it is!

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We also would have accepted “Horatio Cornblower”.

Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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ballsofsteelandfury

This comment requires more likes, people!

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

comment image

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Horatio Cornblower

You should try to combine all three and shoot a 69.

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Horatio Cornblower

Watching a 30-for-30 on Reggie White. On the one hand he was a religious bigot who didn’t think gays should have rights, but on the other had he handed out footballs and packages of food to people in Philadelphia, so who’s to say whether he’s good or bad.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Would you say he was a land of contrasts?

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Horatio Cornblower

I’d say that he set an example that many so-called Christians who seem to base their theology, (and most of their identity), on persecuting minority groups should follow, in that he died early.

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scotchnaut

What do I think about a guy that hates gays and hands food out to poor folks? I’m thinking he was a typically shitty performative Christian that didn’t have the intelligence necessary to question the hipocrisy of his words vs his actions.

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SonOfSpam

coulda just said Christian

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scotchnaut

Nope. My aunt that passed away, an old basketball coach, a friend of my wife, the manager of a grocery store that I deal with-they all identify as Christians and they are fantastic, honest folks that don’t push their beliefs on anyone. They are out there and I have to give them credit.

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SonOfSpam

Ok, maybe in Canada.

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Horatio Cornblower

I have a friend who is a minister, (no, shut up, I really do), and he’s a great guy. Somehow manages to live his faith and build up the people around him without having to tear someone else down. Seems pretty easy, too.

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Doktor Zymm

It’s almost like most humans aren’t fully good or bad. And the contrapositive, anyone who is fully good or bad isn’t human

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scotchnaut

Counterpoint: Donald Trump, Rudolph Hoss, Harold Ballard, Henry Kissinger, Pol Pot, David Gettleman, Robert Moses, Urban Meyer-I could go on.

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Doktor Zymm

What evidence do you have that they’re human?

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scotchnaut

You’re gonna have to define ‘human’ or ‘humanity’ for me.

0
Doktor Zymm

My definition is basically tautalogical in this situation. I would say the presence of at least one redeeming quality and at least one flaw

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scotchnaut

This has all the earmarks of a circle jerk argument which I’m not the least bit interested in pursuing.

1
Doktor Zymm

I mean, there’s not really less philosophical/literary way to define it without extensive tissue samples and lab time, and even then no guarantees 🤷

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scotchnaut

[lays -110 odds that Hippo calls Rice University “Asian Staple’]

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SonOfSpam

PSU

(Paddy Starch University)

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Beans’ White Neighbor?

1
Horatio Cornblower

Better than what Bill Parcells would have come up with.

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