Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
When you look into an abyss…The abyss looks into you [in bed].
Nietzsche

I’m, I’m, I’m just not going to even attempt this one. However, if you can read this congrats in nawt burning out your retinas looking at the sun yesterday. While I had the proper eyewear, I lacked a clear sky to be able to see the sun. When i went to check to see if the sun was even kinda visable I got rained on. Both my kids, away at school, saw it, so will take that as a win for the GTD family. I was kinda surprised at how dark it did get here with the almost total eclipse overhead. Next one in NA is 2044 but that’s just on the west coast. The next one that will be easier to see will be 2045. Didn’t look at other locations when on the goggles machine.

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Mercifully few April’s Fools’ “Jokes” today, maybe all those angry letters I wrote worked.
herodotus450

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I’ve heard that workplace humor is a big thing on Tik Tok, I wonder if that applies to the volcano lair workplace? I have some observational humor about the quality of henchpersons today
Doktor Zymm

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“The loser goes home, the other goes to Cleveland!”

Sooo, you’re telling me that both teams are going to lose?
scotchnaut

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by the way, dirt stillers are gahn 162-0
WCS

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Who was it that said “2 people can keep a secret, so long as 1 of them is dead?”
King Hippo

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I don’t believe in conspiracy theories period. A conspiracy requires people to keep their mouths shut, and that’s just not possible. Among family (or the mob)… maybe but that’s usually stuff that doesn’t add up to much in the larger world. Political – no. Corporations – no. Too many people with different views and values. Military – fuck no. Joe can’t keep his mouth shut over anything. And don’t give me any “code of silence” bullshit, it’s not a thing. If my unit ever did anything wrong, and I tried to keep a lid on it, they would report me, as they should. Conspiracies are for people with too much time on their hands.
2Pack

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RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Okay, I’m about to file our taxes. When I click on this button, it’s like putting it in the mail. Any last words?

DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ.: No, go ahead.

– [one hour later] –

DR. MRS. DEADLY ESQ.: Did you look into [tax strategy X]?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Found a funny:

AI company: we trained this dog to talk. It doesn’t actually understand language, but it kinda sounds like it’s having a conversation by mimicking the sound of human speech.

CEO: awesome, I’ve fired my entire staff, how quickly can it start diagnosing medical disorders
rockingdog

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Caleb Williams is a “USC QB”. As such, he is destined to suck.

The Bears are idiots.
ballsofsteelandfury

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I am absolutely flooded with adrenaline right now.

We got crushed by jobs at work today.
As busy as we’ve been in 5 years.

The new hire is killing it.

She has all of the technical skills and she’s already a major asset.

I had a technician out repairing our big production printer and jobs are just pouring in.
The new girl is even keel and dedicated.
My new second in command is taking charge and we’re owning this shit.

It felt like the good old days, the bad old days, the all or nothing days and we handled it.

Fuck that was so much fun!

Now I’m going to get a good night’s sleep and wrap shit up tomorrow because my ass is on vacation next week.

I’ve got a life thing to experience.
yeah right

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Found a funny:

“Do you know why you can never trust an atom? They make up literally everything.”
rockingdog

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So far this morning I’ve been woken up at the ungodly hour of 8:22 by the cat, so I decided to take advantage of that and go get that blood test to see if the cholesterol meds are doing anything, found the lab crowded so made an appointment for 9:30, ran up to the gym to retrieve some stuff I’d forgotten last night, ran to the bank to complete another errand, got the blood test, got home inhaled a bowl of cereal, then took two depositions, the first of which included the plaintiff talking about being in charge of a trust that has something to so with her immigration status.

Me: “earlier you told me you were born in Virginia.”

Her: “That’s right.”

Me: “So where are you EMigrating from?”

Her: “I wasn’t prepared for these questions.”

Me: “I’ll bet”

Other Atty. (Good guy, clearly blindsided): “Horatio, give me a minute with her.”

Anyway, that case is gonna settle on the cheap side of town, and I feel like I’ve done enough for one day.
Horatio Cornblower

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Good news is my blood test showed my cholesterol dropped 50 points with the statins.

Bad news is that there was an earthquake in Connecticut, (actually off New Jersey, but New Jersey doesn’t count), that shook my house, with a total eclipse following Monday, so that’s pretty much the breaking of The Seventh Seal, and it turns out I could have been eating a whole lot more bacon cheeseburgers smothered in bone marrow over the last six months and not given a fuck about cholesterol.

Oh, Apocalypse, when will you stop letting me down?
Horatio Cornblower

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People, I am in deep, deep trouble over here.
Horatio Cornblower

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Found a funny:

an earthquake three days before a total eclipse of the sun would absolutely have taken out a whole ass dynasty back in the day
rockingdog

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THIS CAITLIN CLARK LEMME TELL YA I CALL HER ARCHDUKE FRANZ FERDINAND BECAUSE SOMEBODY FROM THE BALKANS IS FUCKING UP HER DAY
fleshwound_NPG

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Brighton and Hove Albion sound like the second and third-place winners in the terrier category at the Westminister Dog Show.
scotchnaut

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If this lack of job continues, I would actually love to go back to school. In Deutchland, shouldst du habst zwei PhD you do get to go by Doktor Doktor
Doktor Zymm

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THIS GAME LEMME TELL YA I CALL IT TESLA STOCK BECAUSE EVERYBODY SAID IT WAS GREAT FOR A LONG, LONG TIME BUT HOLY SHIT THE MARKET CORRECTION RIGHT NOW
fleshwound_NPG

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Dogs: [track mud all over the place after being let in the door]

Me: [walks six feet past the door to take shoes off]

Wife: “WHY ARE YOU LEAVING MUD ALL OVER THE HOUSE???”

Also Wife: [makes huge mess after going for a hike] “Welp, what are you going to do? It’s that time of the year.” [shrugs shoulders]

Me: [accesses hobo tracking app on Apple watch, starts to feel better]
scotchnaut

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Regardless of the outcome, Lowratio’s chances of survival this weekend are about 65%.

PLACE YOUR GLAMBORS
WCS

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Caitlyn Clark leaves women’s college ball with all the scoring records, but never having won a championship. This of course begs the question, what does this mean for the Toronto Maple Leafs?

-Toronto Star, 4/8/24
Horatio Cornblower

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/runs through Clubhouse with Arsenal flag that smells vaguely of Old Bay and Natty Bo around wing wang

ARSENAL WOOOOOOOO!!! TOP OF THE TABLE!!! WOOOOOOO!!

/tased by police
Horatio Cornblower

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White Castle achievement unlocked!
yeah right

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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