During the 2023 NFL season I lost a bet that resulted in me writing a paragraph about every single song Taylor Swift had ever released, all within the span of 7 days. I had a blast posting them for you and when some requested that I do the same for future albums, I wasn’t sure if I would or not. After all, I don’t listen to music in my day-to-day. That experience was a wild week to be sure, but the energy an excitement I felt when there was interest from you could easily have been a lucky spark that I can’t reproduce. Do you really want to read more of my poorly informed perspective? My takes are as lukewarm as a half-microwaved hungry man dinner, still frozen in spots and already over-burnt around the edges. Oh well – if I’m honest, I’m back and writing because I enjoyed spending the time on Taylor Swift, and I hope you’ll find some fun in the resulting nonsense I’ve written below. Enough stalling – let’s enter The Tortured Poets Department!

**Fortnight (feat. Post Malone)**

I always knew Taylor was a drinker. This song is so synth heavy – I mean this in a good way, it reminds me of some of the songs that were in Napoleon Dynamite. I can imagine listening to this song while driving through a city at night for sure. Lonely and melancholy but still confident, that’s how it makes me feel. I heard something about this being related to Matty Healy, who I don’t know but supposedly was a rebound fling for Taylor after breaking up with Joe? IDK the timeline well enough to comment on anything but the lyrics sure feel like a quick fling story.

**The Tortured Poets Department**

Hey this sounds kinda like old school Taylor to me! Like almost Debut vibes. Reminder, I’ve only heard each album once (plus TVs) so I’m doing my best to recall memories from the previous entries on this project. I really like the gentle harmonies supporting her voice. One of the fears I had after hearing the title of this album was that it’d be kind of cringe. Like, too up it’s own butt to be taken seriously. But I don’t get that from this song. I’m optimistic now that the tone will be balanced enough to avoid being out of touch.
I may be particularly sensitive about that because my degree is in English composition, dual focused in essay writing and poetry. Which means that for awhile there, I was wayyyy too up my own butt about this kind of stuff.

**My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys**

Drums front and center. I hate the title of this song. I have kind of a sensitivity about things breaking, it makes me emotional. So having to hear about someone breaking things is not fun. As a result, I’m not a fan of whoever she’s singing about. ‘Once I fix me, he’s gonna miss me’ really sounds like she’s talking about the rebound relationship again. Like she’s in a bad relationship while she heals up and then she’ll get out of there. Yuck, I can’t vibe with this story.

**Down Bad**

OK I heard that opening line as ‘did you really beat me off’ and I was like, wow she really is down bad. The synth heavy sound so far has started settling into a trancelike effect. ‘They’ll say I’m nuts if I talk about the existence of you’ is a little awkward as phrasing goes but it does remind me that she has to deal with the psychological trap of wanting to sing about her relationship but knowing it’ll spark discussion in the media again.
‘I might just not get up, I might just stay down bad’ is pretty solid. I also really like that she’s cursing casually in music that’s otherwise not that explicit. Culture is changing, and she’s writing the way I expect people to talk – not using curse words as some shocking thing.

**So Long, London**

Wasn’t there a terrible song about London on a previous album? I know Joe is British so I’m assuming this is her waving goodbye to that London chapter of her life. I’m starting to get bored of the synth sound, hoping for some relief from the numbness. Honestly it feels like the stuffy, congested feeling you get when you take cheap allergy medicine. As far as the writing goes, this blows that other London song out of the water. This is my favorite song lyrically so far. Her talking about going down with the ship and white knuckling to hold on while her friends think she should abandon ship is poignant. I guess the song was ultimately a little more driving than the last few but I’d like a mix up.

**But Daddy I Love Him**

Aw man, we got softer instead. At least I’m not continuing the desensitization under the synth noise. Once again I’m feeling early Taylor in this one. Ooh, the chorus picked things up. This is a good song, and I totally assumed by the title that I’d be out on it. Yeah man, put this on Fearless or Speak Now and it’d totally work. I might sound crazy but there’s been so little instrumentation on this album so far that the snare drum and guitar chords of this chorus make a big impact. I know her music is more about her voice and lyrics but sometimes I want more a more complete ensemble for her. Should we dig into the line where she lies about being pregnant? Nah, I’m already gonna be running up on the character limit! This song finishes really strong, just like the last one.

**Fresh Out The Slammer**

LETS GOOOO I needed this guitar. Why do I want an alt rock sound from her so bad? I would go hard on an album that drew on some Red Hot Chili Peppers or some other garage band shit. I spent this entire song fantasizing about what it’d be like to hear that and I think it would be really weird, in exactly the way I like.

**Florida!!! (feat. Florence + The Machine)**

LMAO what?? My friends all smell like weed or little babies? That is an all-time Taytoo candidate. BANG BANG BANG BANG this song is unhinged. Yo this other voice is haunting. No clue who Florence is but she sure got me sitting up straight. BANG BANG BANG BANG BAG Florida is a hell of a drug! I have no idea what to do with this track but I like it. Fuck me up, Florida.

**Guilty As Sin?**

Well this isn’t exactly an alt rock sound but it does sound like the radio I listened to in the mid 90s when I was really young. I’ve never been into body writing but, uh, that line about writing on her upper thigh is pretty steamy. Oh damn, that line about breaking a lock and throwing her life to the wolves or the rocks is kinda hard. I wanna jam so hard right now but we are staying right outside the go zone.

**Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?**

‘You don’t get to tell me about sad’ sounds like it came straight out of Rep, haha. The Speak Now vibe is still in here but it’s swimming in a more sinister tone that also has some of the depth and gentle touch of Folkmore. I’m very impressed by this track – even if it isn’t one of my favorites, I feel like I’m hearing all of Taylor here. I want to hear her yell more. It’s so funny, I hated Rep the first time and nowadays I’m like, man I wish this had more attitude. There she is talking about being drunk all the time again. There’s a drunk lore thread waiting to be exposed in her discography methinks. I think this is the closest I’ll get to a rock out number this go around.

**I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)**

Ooh, this is very thematic. I grew up in the southwest and this evokes a dusty western town sound for me. Oh, yeah she really leaned into that with the saloon stuff and the pistol and everything. We’re in a western today. I’ve never personally dealt with an ‘I can fix him/her’ mentality but it sounds like a yikes. Is this about that Matty guy again?

**loml**

What is loml? Sounds like something an eccentric character from Gilmore Girls would name their little scraggly dog. Oh, love of my life? That makes way more sense than what I said. What a sad song. She has wanted real love over so many of these albums. ‘Get love quick scheme’ is a solid phrase. I wish I could sit around a fire with Taylor and talk about life over some cocktails. She has so many feelings I want to learn more about. Maybe that feeling is what bonds her fanbase so strongly. Oh, she said loss of her life at the end, maybe that’s what loml is.

**I Can Do It With A Broken Heart**

We’re threatening some electronica vibes in here. Maybe this is like a refreshed 80s sound she’s going for. YO that transition into the new beat is SICK. This is my favorite track for sure so far. Aww, and it went away just as quick as it came in. What a tease. LET ME BOP, TAYLOR. Lights/Camera/Bitch Smile is another good taytoo candidate. There’s nothing better in music than an upbeat happy sound and the vocalist talking about how depressed they are. Fun and sad is like salt in ice cream, they need each other.

**The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived**

If I had this cd in my car I’d be hovering over the skip button for this one. Not feeling it. The melody has some strength with these low breathy notes but it isn’t enough to keep me invested. I’m bummed about it because I do enjoy a good dramatic ballad. Maybe I’m just not invested enough.

**The Alchemy**

We’re staying in smoky voice and alcohol for this one. ‘I circled you on a map’ is a great line. Touchdown? Cut them from the team? Ay yo is this a Travis Kelce track? If so, talking about the chemistry and ‘it’s like heroin but with an e’ is pretty exciting. Oh, trying to be the best in the league and where’s the trophy, yeah we’re in football land now. Fuck yeah, her entrance into the NFL was what brought me here and I’m so down to hear about it in her music. I listened to a lot, A LOT, of her music to get back to this point on the timeline.

**Clara Bow**

Not gonna lie, had to google who Clara Bow was. Breath of fresh air through the smoke rings is pretty strong wordplay. I get that this song is about dealing with being famous, but I think she has written stronger songs on the topic. Especially I Know Places, if I’m remembering it right. This is still pretty and it’s not like she can’t talk about this topic in lots of songs, it certainly must be a huge part of life for her. Hah, she changed it at the end to her name. That’s a trick I liked from her previous albums and I have definitely seen a lot of people try to look like Taylor Swift. Looking at you, QTCinderella! Jk qt is an icon in her own right. Some of you are concerned that I brought up a twitch streamer in the middle of a music review. I will move on. Watch Master Baker, it’s really good. Sorry, sorry!

**The Black Dog**

Back to heartbreak songs, aw man. I’m sorry for being a little disappointed but I got excited about hearing a football song and I want her to be full of enthusiasm and excitement again. But we aren’t really there yet. More smoke imagery here, there’s been a lot of that. I’m going to assume Matty was a smoker. Was this intended to be the final song on the standard edition of the album, before the anthology half? Or did we already transition?

**Imgonnagetyouback**

This is what glam sounds like in 2024. ‘Somebody still wants me,’ that’s a complex thought that deserves to get fully unpacked. Especially in a song about trying to rekindle a relationship. That context makes that line even more interesting. Car Lore enjoyers might have caught that she referred to herself as an aston martin, which is a British luxury car. AND it crashed, and we’ve seen her beat up nice cars before. I’m on to you, Taylor. ‘Whether I’m gonna be your wife or smash up your bike, I haven’t decided yet’ …I don’t know where motorcycles fit into car lore but I’m tempted to find out.

**The Albatross**

I found a note that several songs on this album are references to pubs in England. That explains The Black Dog from earlier. I’m not able to dig into it more deeply but it’s nice to see Taylor continuing to do stuff like that. The narrative here is dense and I can’t tell if she’s referring to herself as the dangerous albatross or someone else. This is the limitation of doing these write-ups using only my first listen, but I’m here to be honest and this one went over my head.

**Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus**

This reminds me of some of the story songs from Folkmore. The sound itself is pretty fanciful, which isn’t my jam but I can appreciate it. Not sure I have much more to say about this one. I’m in a lull here.

**How Did It End?**

Is this song about how her fans/media coverage was trying to figure out why she and Joe broke up? I’m gonna go with that. She surely has had to deal with people prying about all her relationships, and she’s used the topic as creative fuel for sure. Maybe it isn’t entirely about her, but inspired by how she feels when she sees speculation on why her relationship ended. ‘Sitting in a tree, d-y-i-n-g’ kicks ass as a lyric. The ‘come one come all, it’s happening again’ line really does sound like the general public seeing her break up with someone and be like, ooh showtime.

**So High School**

Hmm. If there’s something deeper going on here, I’m having a hard time connecting with it. Is this nostalgia for being a teenager? We’re talking about video games and being silly and young, and going to practice. Wait, is this about Travis? Like, he makes her feel like a teenager again? If so, that’s very sweet. ‘You know how to ball’ yeah I think I’m onto something there. This is definitely a tonal shift, more of a happy and carefree track.

**I Hate It Here**

Track 23. Phew, how did I listen to hundreds of these songs in 7 days? They’re jam packed with meaning, allusion, and storytelling, it’s like trying to eat an entire wedding cake in one sitting to hear this whole album through in one shot. ‘Only the gentle survive’ isn’t something I expected her to say about a place she hates. ‘I’m bitter but I swear I’m fine’ is a line I feel like I’ve heard in a couple songs of hers before. Oh, she’s escaping into secret gardens in her mind, maybe that’s where only the gentle survive. LOL ‘poet trapped inside a finance guy’ with that stumbling rhythm is pretty good, and is another great example of her not being full of herself with this material.

**thanK you aIMee**

So I heard there was a song about Kim Kardashian and I’m betting this is the one. I know basically nothing about the feud between her and Kanye/Kim but this is a very pretty song about being bigger than them. I did laugh out loud when she said my mom is really nice but she wishes you were dead, that’s very funny. Oh, she’s also saying that the feud helped her grow, that’s cool. And their world looks so small to her from where she is now. Hah!

**I Look in People’s Windows**

Aw man. Gorgeous guitar and vocals here, I like this sound a lot. Another one that feels Folkmore-ish. Oh yeah, very Folkmore-ish. This is the best track on the album up to this point for me. ‘I’m addicted to the if only’ and talking about being on the outside looking in, and the window lore, this is dope. NO, WHY IS IT OVER SO FAST!

**The Prophecy**

There’s another motorcycle reference. We’re talking about being barefoot and single at home again. Jeez, Taylor, this is rough. Can somebody just be the man she needs so we can get her back into her shoes? Rhyming quicksand and blood from pricked hand is a serious lyrical flex, that was excellent. We are still in Folkmore land, too. Big fan of this one. Coven around a sorceress’ table is a cool visual. Do I hear a banjo in that bridge??

**Cassandra**

More storytelling. Unfortunately I’m struggling to keep up on this one and since the music isn’t rightly the focus, I’m just listening to the story and being lost.

**Peter**

We are in the storytelling forest now. This one I can track a little better, maybe because she repeats the hook a few times. I like the feeling she’s tugging on here, the idea of a childhood love that you think will come to fruition someday but doesn’t really exist once you’re grown. I can certainly relate to that. I was a person who wanted to grow up while being in love with someone, and while I did ultimately get that experience, it was different than I had fantasized about it being when I was young. Very nostalgic and melancholy. Did you ever promise someone that if you both turned 30 and were still single, you’d marry each other?

**The Bolter**

OK, did she just have a bunch of songs left over from Folklore/Evermore and want to put them here? Seriously, the second half of this album feels like the 3rd sibling. We’re literally talking about taming a bear. I guess that does kind of link back to the western song about fixing a dangerous guy, too. Taylor is good at writing songs. Leaving felt like breathing is powerful. So is feeling like falling through the ice and coming out alive. Very visceral. The chorus also sounds like young Taylor again. It really does feel like she’s so many more parts of herself nowadays.

**Robin**

This piano ballad feels like it’ll be a very nice slow pitch during a live show. I can see her leaning into the mic at the piano with this one. The idea that this tiger looks ridiculous but people are keeping that from him out of kindness, and they’re cheering him on, is a difficult thing to hear about. I think I relate to that and I don’t like acknowledging it, but I’m probably being silly. It’s part and parcel with taking risks and being confident, that’s just what happens sometimes. I wonder if she’s calling herself the tiger, here, and it’s an encouraging message after all.

**The Manuscript**

Wow, last track. Half a dozen tracks ago I was feeling fatigue but we got here fast. This is very poetic, it feels like reviewing her story in montage. Getting little vignettes that bring certain relationships to mind. Deciding to date men her own age, that reminds me of someone specific. Someone not showing up for the dance, that reminds me of someone too. She says here that the story isn’t hers anymore, because she’s made it into art and it belongs to the world now. I think that’s a very nice message to end on.

**The End**

I enjoyed TTPD, and though it won’t make my top three of hers, it was an enjoyable listen. But I’m conflicted. It was nice to see Taylor again, and write about her again. I wanted to come back to this place and talk with you all in the comments about her art and our experiences with it. But it was a mostly sad album, and it leaves me feeling hollow about how once this thread is done, I’ll go into hibernation again. The original series of 7 days was a very special moment, and I enjoyed getting to step back into this role again so soon.