INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The PRODUCER…is actually nowhere to be seen, because he is currently on vacation in Scottsdale, Arizona.  Replacing him at the console is none other than…

HUNTER RENFROW: DJ 3000 can you run a highpass filter on input four and then do a Fourier transform on it? There’s some weird signal that’s getting through.

DJ 3000: THE CLICKING THAT’S COMING THROUGH AT 30,000 HZ? THE HUMAN EAR CAN’T EVEN HEAR THAT FREQUENCY.

HUNTER: Yeah but it’s showing up on the equalizer.  Just take a look, please.

HUNTER RENFROW turns his attention back to the week’s guest, who is already seated in the recording booth. 

HUNTER: Sorry for the delay, Mr. Garçon – I’m just trying to make sure everything is 100% right before we go on the air.

PIERRE GARÇON: N’est pas un problème. And you can call me Pierre.

HUNTER: Will do.  Thanks so much for being my first guest, I’m so excited to have you here.

DJ 3000: ALL SORTED.

HUNTER: Fantastic.  You ready, Pierre?

PIERRE GARÇON nods. 

HUNTER: We’re live in three…two…one…[punches ON AIR button]…Greetings and Salutations, radio listeners!  I’m Hunter Renfrow, standing in this week for [name redacted] and it is my great honor to welcome you to Request Line.  With me is a man who was a great inspiration to me when I first started watching the NFL, retired wide receiver Pierre Garçon!

HUNTER RENFROW makes simulated applause noise. 

DJ 3000: [off-air] YOU KNOW I HAVE A SOUND EFFECT YOU CAN USE FOR THAT.

HUNTER RENFROW waves him off as he gestures to PIERRE GARÇON to begin speaking.

PIERRE GARÇON: Salut! Thanks so much for having me, it’s a pleasure to be here.

HUNTER: Now it’s my understanding that you’re of Haitian descent.

PIERRE GARÇON: That’s right. I was born in New York, but my roots are very much Haitian.

HUNTER: I think you’re the first Haitian person I’ve met.  At Soscatee High there was an [uses air quotes] “exchange student” from the Dominican Republic but I never got to know him very well – he was just there to play baseball.  I don’t think he even spoke any English.  They actually let him take Spanish 1B so he could keep his GPA where it needed to be, and even then one of our rivals tried to get the district to hold a hearing on whether he was legitimately eligible.  Spud was in the class with him and said he could barely even read.  Great shortstop, though.

PIERRE GARÇON: I see.

There is a moment of dead air – a brief uncomfortable silence.

HUNTER: But, uh…the Dominican Republic is a pretty different country from Haiti, huh?

PIERRE GARÇON: It sure is.

HUNTER: Um…I’m told you’ve got a Request Line topic for us, care to share it?

PIERRE GARÇON: Bien sur!  I thought in honor of the Paris Olympics, whose opening ceremonies will be starting…[checks watch]…right now, the topic could be “France”.

HUNTER: So…songs in French?

PIERRE GARÇON: Absolument!  But also songs about things that are French.

HUNTER: Like…croissaints?

PIERRE GARÇON: I was thinking more like “absinthe”, but…yeah.

HUNTER: Ooh, I have an idea!

HUNTER RENFROW digs into his backpack and pulls out a copy of “The Sun Also Rises” by Ernest Hemingway.

HUNTER: We’re reading this for English Lit, I bet I can get some great ideas from here.  Have you got anything to commence with?

PIERRE GARÇON: Sure thing.  DJ 3000, can you get us rolling with a little Nous Non Plus?

Today’s theme is “all things French”.  We’re looking for songs who have anything to do with French stuff.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?@h0n3YfLy and they should embed in the comments after you refresh (this might be a tough one; I’ll drop some clues if necessary).  Last week’s puzzle answer of “Get Out of My Dreams – Get Into My Car” by Billy Ocean was picked up by BeefRiverLives. On y va!